The Gardener

Grief! Some of the reviewers here clearly didn't experience the home video boom of the 80s. When you rented a 'bad' film you watched it to the end, sometimes twice. Is this as bad as some of those? No.

It's low budget for sure, but you have to admire how hard everyone is trying, I've seen worse actors in bigger films.

The first fight, in the garden cracked me up, it goes from someone being hit with a shovel to a martial arts display.

In summary: it's a low budget, low rent revenge movie with some guy that looks like Charles Bronson (for those that know who that is), set in the English countryside. Comical double takes and a dude that yells, 'she saw my face!' a lot.

The acting and fight scenes were absolute trash. The whole movie was awful. Everyone involved in this should rethink their employment. The only one redeemed is the photographer.

Most movies, however abysmal, have at least one redeeming feature...not this one...this is a masterclass in crap moviemaking from start to finish.

I can only assume it was made the day before the director arrived on set...they made a mistake and released the first rough rehearsal as the finished product.

The father looks and dresses like a crackhead...the mother a baglady...the gardener a monosyllabic moron....the bad guys pathetically stereotyped.

The set appears to be a derelict 'stately home' with matching garden.

The 'action' scenes choreographed by 5 year old kids.

The 'script'....lol....lol.

This production was simply lazy, which is a shame since a decent amount of work obviously went into it. The bad guys' interactions were ridiculous, the fights slow and wooden, and the "pregnant" woman had a lumpy tummy that wasn't even round (and she was clearly breathing as she lay there after being shot in the head). Fun that the gardener looks like Charles Bronson, but that's about all this movie had going for it.

I never heard of Robert Bronzi but when you watch this movie, you understand why this guy gets to make movies. He looks like Charles Bronson. That's it. He has zero acting or fighting skills. He seems like a nice man and if you read about him, he is. But this guy has no business making movies.

This movie was just awful. It's a 90 minute movie and it just drags for the first 50 minutes. Nothing happens, and then when it does, it's still poorly done. The fight scenes are pathetic. The only person in the movie who appears to have real skills is the main bad guy but what "choreography" on the fights scenes that there is was done so poorly, it's like watching little kids pretend fights. They're "fighting" slowly and you see the actors waiting for the next "punch" and reacting. It's pathetic.

And Bronzi, despite what his press release might say, he NO fighting skills of any kind. It's embarrassing that were supposed to believe this is some tough guy. Looking like Charles Bronson doesn't mean you are Bronson and changing your last name so it's similar to "Bronson" doesn't make you Charles Bronson.

His "fight scenes" are just terrible.

Looking at posters of other Bronzi movies, it looks like they're using a picture of the actual Bronson in the poster. I think a lot of the time they're hoping people think it is Charles Bronson and once you've paid for the movie you're caught and can't get out.

Hopefully no one falls for this. If I looked like Stallone but has zero acting skills and someone wanted to put me in movies, I'd politely decline because I HAVE NO ACTING SKILLS.

I suspect this guy will make a few more movies but he's older and when they realize no one is paying for this, he'll stop. Hopefully sooner than later.