Splatter Movie: The Director's Cut

If you've seen movies made by this team, you basically know what to expect. A dazzlingly good cast, a solid premise, painfully mediocre writing, a few cool moments. Arguably justifies a watch if you're into the low budget horror scene (which you probably are if you're on this page). There's better out there, but there is much, much, much, much worse and lots of it.

I just got done watching Splatter Movie: The Director's Cut. And one thing I gotta say is that this is one of the more original movies that I've seen to date. And you know what?! IT'S AN INDEPENDENT FILM!! Thank you so much, Hollywood, for NOT making it, because it would've totally sucked if you had. Anyway, you got a bunch of actors making a movie at a haunted attraction in Pennsylvania. Yes, it's a slasher film. Ah, but HOW is THAT an original film? Because this movie takes place BEHIND THE SCENES!! It's shot in documentary fashion. These actors are being followed by camera people who are looking to get everything they can possibly get. Now, here's the kicker. One of their own is dressing up as the killer (Grendle) and is picking them off one by one (okay, maybe by two at times). But still, you get the idea here . . . As you look at all of the people here, you get to thinking if THIS actor or THAT actress could possibly be the one. I figured it out, but I'm not telling you who it is. That's not my way. Also, I'll get blacklisted according to IMDb's rules (I didn't check the box). But one thing that I can tell you for sure without giving anything away: SEVERAL of the horror movie rules get broken here in Splatter Movie. And we know what happens when you break the rules, don't we? Kudos to Mike Watt for writing a EXCELLENT story and to Amy Lynn Best for both playing AND being the director. Can't wait to see some more Happy Cloud Pictures releases later on down the road.

One of the things I love about Happy Cloud pictures is that they aren't afraid to try new things and take chances. This movies is definitely one of them. First off there was all of the MySpace build up with various videos being "leaked" to the outside. Then you watch the film and it takes you on so many twists and turns you don't know where you are in the end. The plot is this: A low budget independent film company is filming their new horror epic "Tesseract". They are filming at a real haunted attraction located in NJ (It is a real place). While filming the movie they have given out several hand held camcorders to record various different perspectives of the filming. What nobody is aware of is that there is a very real killer dressed up as their killer "Grendel" and he or she is really killing various members of the cast. The movie within a movie about making a movie with real killings going on can really twist you into a few knots trying to follow what the heck is happening but that is part of the fun. When is it real or Memorex. Another first class film from Amy Lynn Best and Mike Watts.

Wow!!! I really enjoyed "Splatter Movie." Mike Watt and Amy Lynn Best did a great job of bringing something fresh, gory and lots of fun to the table. There is such a great sense of humor to this script. Amy Lynn Best did an amazing job of not only directing, but also starring in the movie. Tom Sullivan and Debbie Rochon both gave amazing performances. I also really enjoyed Sofiya Smirnova and Elske McCain in this flick. The storyline does not drag for a second. The script is well written and all involved really brought it to life. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. It messes with your mind taking you from the shoot to the killer to the documentary to the killer again. I highly recommend this movie to anyone looking for a gory, funny, clever flick!!!

And all the wishful thinking I could muster, and all these inaccurate reviews that ultimately convinced me to buy it, can't change the fact that Splatter Movie: The Directors Cut is a terrible movie. Not original, not even remotely clever. Terrible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. A movie within a movie, within a movie. I'm sure there's a way to make this concept work, or at least watchable. Yet, not one second of this sleep-aid resembles Horror. I don't care if you only dig big-budget Horror, like The Grudge, or only B-Horror like Basket Case. All Horror fans should agree that Splatter Movie: The Director's Cut is an embarrassment to us all. But apparently, we don't. That is, unless the other reviews were written by people involved with this joke of a movie, which would explain a lot. Anyway, the story. Yeah, so, A Horror movie is being made. The director of this movie is actually the director of this movie, and certain people are playing "themselves" to put some kind of a reality spin on things, I would imagine. There's a killer on the set (or is there?), and there's also a lot of killing scenes being shot, and they appear to be "real", but never are (or are they?) And blah, blah, blah, you'll hate this movie, so, why keep reading?

Certainly nothing against female directors. Chicks making Horror/gore is just plain cool, and always will be, but this chick tried way too hard to make something clever and complex, and ended up with something completely devoid of style, personality, or even a shred entertainment value, and I don't care what these people say, this movie is not funny (or amazing). It really is a shame, too, because, like I said, I really wanted to like this movie, and these misleading reviews really had me looking forward to some refreshing, modern, B-Horror. And what do I get? Boredom. Well, boredom, and Debbie Rochon. One would assume that the presence of the queen of the B's might improve this garbage. If anything, this garbage hurts her credibility. Believe me when I say you're better off watching Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker. 1/10