Ligeia

I really wasn't even sure what I'd use as a summary line ... but it kinda makes sense I think. You're welcome and no offense (if you are easily offended that is). There are reasons why one should like this ... based on an Edgar Allen Poe story with quite the actors to boast ... Cary Tagawa, Eric Roberts, Michael Madsen ... even Wes Bentley of American Beauty fame ... though apparently he hasn't done much since then ... nothing much succesful that is.

But the movie really seems quite convoluted and weird in a bad way. This is low budget and the femme fatale (if you allow me to call her that) is quite enticing. So I guess one may be able to understand the troubles our main character is in ...not to mention the supernatural element in all of this. But while this probably isn't that long, it felt like an eternity watching it - no pun intended. It has a few redeeming factors (some mentioned above), but I doubt many will cut this some slack ...

I don't know what the heck that was, or why people need to rip off Edgar Allen Poe for ideas, other than he's in the Public Domain and won't ask for a royalty! The plot, which kind of echoes Poe, is that an English professor is enticed from his engagement to a singer to a sultry Goth babe from Russia, and is convinced to use his immense wealth to rebuy her Russian estate while she looks for ways to extend her mortality through magic and science. What we get is a confused mess of body swaps and the kings of Direct to DVD, Michael Madsen and Eric Roberts, playing largely unnecessary supporting characters.

Other than that, some parts of the film look quite good for a low-budget made in Eastern Europe mess...

To put it mildly, most of the Horror genre owes a huge debt to the works of Edgar Allan Poe. So many of the genre's finest works of literature and cinema wouldn't even exist without writings like "The Conqueror Worm", "Masque of the Red Death" and "The Black Cat" just to name a few. Hell, there have been some stellar films based on his works, especially Roger Corman's absolutely essential 60's adaptations. Sadly, the adaptation of "Ligeia" from 2009 named "The Tomb" is not one of the great adaptations.

Jonathan (Wes Bentley) has a lot to look forward to. He's a respected professor, has a gorgeous girlfriend in Rowena (Kaitlin Doubleday) and so much more. Then Ligeia (Sofya Skya) enters his life. She's beautiful, tempting, and she has him under her spell, and they move to her castle by the Black Sea. That is, until he finds out that she's been stealing souls to defeat a disease she has and gain immortality. And if she can't have Jonathan, nobody can.

There are a few things "The Tomb" gets right. Some (not all mind you) of the performances are good, especially Skya as Ligeia, who plays the character as an Gothic beauty with the right balance between erotic desire and deadly siren. Eric Roberts aka "Mr. Straight to Video" is also fine in his role, though one wishes you had gotten to learn more about his character. Also worthy of note is the fact that for a low budget horror film, the CGI isn't too bad. Finally, the score by Patrick Cassidy is a lot of fun, and reminded me of the best work from Richard Band.

And that's where all the goodwill vanishes. While first time director Michael Staininger certainly has an eye for visuals, none of the movie captures the kind of dread and madness that makes the writings of Poe so great. Instead, many of the scenes that are supposed to be creepy instead come of as goofy. Some of the other performances in the movie are rather weak as well, particularly Bentley and Michael Madsen. Bentley is more wooden than a 2X4 here (the less said about his rendition of "The Conqueror Worm" in the end credits the better-though I guess it's more dignified than being in "Jonah Hex") and Madsen can't deliver any of his lines properly to save his life, not to mention that it feels too much like he showed up on the set a few days and then left.

The biggest problem with the movie is the script. There are too many lapses in logic (okay, so your boyfriend leaves you for a hot Russian girl, and he comes back, and you just let him back?) and plot holes to count, and it feels more like a rough draft. The really disappointing thing about this though, is that it was written by John Shirley. While he's mostly known for writing the original script for "The Crow", he's also written some fine Science Fiction ("City Come a Walkin'") and horror novels ("Wetbones", "Cellars" and "Demons" to name a few.) For an author I enjoy so much to write such a bad script really sucks.

"The Tomb" really has no reason to be watched. Sure, it occasionally resembles the kind of enjoyable Gothic yarns Full Moon Studios used to make, but more often than not it feels like a Lifetime Channel horror movie than an Edgar Allan Poe Adaptation. The movie should have just been called "The Bore of Ligeia."

There is nothing that will get a movie downgraded faster than false advertising. If you are going to get an "R", then make the movie an "R", not a PG-13. There was nothing in this film that you cannot see routinely on broadcast television. It was a huge disappointment when you have someone as gorgeous as Sofya Skya, and all you see is her back. Sheesh!

There was no one in this movie to cheer for. Yes, I know it's a Gothic tale, and it really made the grade there, but I expect a little more emotion from the actors. Go back and watch the early Gothic before special effects and see what actors did then.

It was painful to watch.

OK ... So it tried not to be a typical worthless neu-horror failure ... But it fell for all the usual things ... Drained colour flashbacks ... Naff unnecessary quick cut editing ( at times ) ... Acting that would make the local drama group blush ... And a storyline that could ( possibly ) have been interesting if it hadn't been written like a bad soft porn movie I have a feeling the budget on this was actually bigger than it looked ... Some of the settings were quite grand for a low budget film ... Unfortunately the director didn't know what to do with any of them How on earth do these awful directors and script writers get to make these films ... They are just a waste of time and money ... Everyone involved with the production I presume got paid ... Because that is the only thing this sort of junk does ... Pay workers As long as the financiers don't expect people to pay money to watch this dross ... THAT WOULD BE GOING TO FAR