The Breastford Wives

The Breastford Wives (2007)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Rob (Frankie Cullen) and Laura (Gloria-Anne Gilbert) are celebrating their marriage and moving into their new home. Before long they start to meet all of the sexy neighbors and it's clear that everyone in town has a very high sex drive. Before long the couple meet a strange doctor who seems to be doing experiments on people.

THE BREASTFORD WIVES, as you can tell from the title, is a softcore take-off on THE STEPFORD WIVES and for the most part it's an entertaining movie. If you're familiar with the softcore work of director Jim Wynorski then you know he really is the best in the business and he certainly helps keep this film moving at a nice pace. Obviously, this film was made to show off naked ladies and it does a good job with that.

Taylor Wayne easily steals the film with her erotic look and sound. You've also got Barbie Bennett and Friday in the cast. Needless to say, everyone looks great but I must admit that both Cullen and Gilbert drove me crazy with their performances. They were really, really bad and the line delivery with each other was just laughable at times.

'Breastford Wives' doesn't waste any time as boobs are given to you right away. The opening quickly establishes the 'Stepford Wives' setup and the first sex scene between couple (Glori-Anne Gilbert, Frankie Cullen). Then omg it's the same house from 'Lust Connection'. Jim Wynorski has the cheapo formula down pat, but the nudity is high here and the vibe pleasantly light.

The guy (Cullen) meets Friday in a black dress that really highlights her boobs and then they have sex. He returns home to smash Taylor Wane in his gym. Glori-Anne, Barbie Bennett, Sara Maglaughlin three-way in a bathtub. Glori-Anne strips then sex. Cullen investigates a noise in the middle of the night only to be warned by the daughter (Monique Parent) of the previous owners about what is going on and then has sex with her supplying a laugh. He bangs docs assistant Monica Sweetheart, suckered into sex with Sara. Back home his wife gets frisky with Taylor & Barbie in the hot tub.

There used to be a time when T&A flicks made an attempt at a plot, but that's truly an afterthought with 'Breastford Wives'. A few sprinkles of dialog move things along, but the most important factor - the ladies - are a good bunch filmed right. It's still Wynorski's wheelhouse - cheap, quick (79 mins), magical wine - with the requisite bad acting, poor music, but it's slightly better than other very similar titles from him.

I typically hate having hardcore girls in my softcore. Why should I watch this woman having simulated sex, where I can't see anything, when I can see her on half the internet getting visually pounded like crazy? Softcore is where I go for girls showing more personality, acting skills, and campy fun. In this case, however, despite the larger than normal number of hardcore girls involved in this, I have to say I am willing to make an exception.

Taylor Wane is absolutely amazing. I'm not sure what else there is to say. She's gorgeous, has a sexy accent, and has an incredible body. I was extremely happy to see her in a softcore role, and had high hopes for her being in more, though it looks like she's gone back to exclusively hardcore.

I also though Friday was hot in this, another example of a hardcore girl being exceptional enough that I liked her in this softcore role.

Glori-Anne Gilbert's acting here seems better than usual, and she shows a little bit more depth than her typical sweet airhead bimbo type character she typically plays.

The plot was funny and a clever take off of Stepford Wives, and I enjoyed the parody aspect of it. Some of the parody titles can be so unrelated to the original as to be nothing more than an excuse for a clever name to be used, but this concept lent itself very well to the parody and they did a great job with it.