Sex and the City: La película

...or at least try to be original?

Saying that "Sex and the City: The Movie" is just for the fans is unnecessary (like it was made for another audience, right?). Who else except die hard fans of the show will be crazy for this movie?

Is it predictable? Yes. Is it just a longer episode of the TV show? Yes. Is it funny? Depends. If you like the show, you'll laugh; if you don't, you won't. Simple as that.

It doesn't try or pretend to be art-house material or an Oscar contender (except for the costume design, of course), but it's definitely good entertainment and a pleasant couple of hours with buttery popcorn and a Red Bull. 7/10.

The queens of NYC are back in spectacular fashion. Is it Oscar worthy? No, but it doesn't need to be. The storyline is on brand for the emotional chaos that was the series, I would expect nothing less. I love the display of friendship and kindness that the women show to each other in this film.

'Sex and the City,' based on the hilarious, poignant HBO comedy series of the same name, is grossly insulting. In a strong divorce from the series, the movie picks up five years after the series finale - where we find out that each one of the characters have become vapid, soulless versions of their former selves. Now, writer Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), and her friends Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), and Charlotte Goldenblatt (Kristen Davis) walk around New York obsessing over shoes, handbags, and love.

Carrie Bradshaw was, at the end of the show, an independent woman - not the needy girl she started out as. The movie turns it's back on Carrie's development as a character, shaping her into the stock romcom lead. Think Katherine Heigl with no charm. She is now painfully unfunny, shallow, and quite possibly retarded. She spends the first half the film setting herself up to have the man whom supposedly loves her jilt her - which he does. The second half of the film, Carrie spends complaining about literally everything, dying her hair brown, and discussing bags and love with a painfully useless, annoying Jennifer Hudson, as Carrie's new assistant Louise from Saint Louis.

CARRIE: "Louise from Saint Louis. Oh you brought me back to life." LOUISE: "And you gave me, Louise Vuitton."

Yes the writer of "The Real Me" and "A Woman's Right To Shoes" actually wrote this garbage.

Lawyer Miranda is now a frigid shrew who swats her deadbeat husband away like a fly every time he tries to get near her - and spends the entire 2.5 hours complaining about how marriage changed her, it made her move to Brooklyn. She is no longer likable, funny, or smart.

Meanwhile, housewife Charlotte spends the 2.5 hours prancing around like a little girl, screaming at the top of her lungs, and carrying her confused, Asian daughter around like a dog in a handbag. The problem with continuing Charlotte's storyline on the show is her storyline came to the only logical conclusion it could have had at the end of the show. Now, it' just a retread through old territory. Davis is ultimately given a thankless role in this film.

However, it is Samantha who is given the most honest adaptation. While certainly a cartoon version of her former self, Samantha's story revolves around her inability to maintain a monogamous relationship - despite being very much in love. However the payoff is ultimately ruined as Samantha is no longer human.

This incarnation of 'Sex' is so incredibly shallow - it basically acts a prop to advertise luxury goods. The most obvious scenes to illustrate this are when Carrie tries on designer wedding dresses for a Vogue shoot, which goes on for an excruciating 10 minutes, followed closely by Carrie and co. going through her closet trying to decide what to take to her new apartment with husband-to-be Big (Chris Noth). The scene is ultimately pointless as she is moving to a closet that is 10 times to the size - which, if you can imagine it - is actually a plot point in a film that will make you feel compelled to throw out every designer label you own. The show was about the importance of following your own trajectory, and self actualization. The film abandons this concept.

I thought, this is a sure-fire winner - the series was brilliant: funny, romantic, insightful, and we were left wanting more - ergo... great movie. What I got instead was sappy, uninspired writing; I actually rolled my eyes a couple of times, and I love chick flicks! These characters would never utter some of those lines. After developing such strong characters over the course of the series, someone fell asleep behind the wheel and completely short changed the viewers.

Also, the movie is messy, trying to cram way too much into the alloted time, ending up with shallow plots all the way through. The only character plot line I believed was Samantha's. I missed the men in this movie, someone sucked the very life out of them. And finally, Jennifer Hudson's role could be neatly snipped out of the movie without it making a difference. I love her, but the role as written is way too cliché'd for even a fine actor like herself to make any sense out of.

Saving graces: Kim Cattrall's performance and delivery, the fashion and the moments between the girls.

I am a big fan of the show. I am one of those people who have seen every episode at least 4 times, and some of them around 10 times. Even so, I still watch the reruns, and I was really looking forward to the movie.

So, it is really upsetting that I have to give it such a bad review. I went to see it with the best of intentions. I really wanted to love it. Unfortunately the movie has nothing to do with the wittiness and character of the series. Even putting aside the wooden and/or exaggerated acting, you fail to recognize the characters who where transformed into caricatures, pathetic versions of themselves.

There were very very few lines that gave a glimpse of the old clever dialog, and they all got lost in a mass of cheesy lines about love and friendship that you even rarely anymore encounter in the corniest of Hollywood's chick flicks, and toiler humor that you only expect from movies like Harold and Kumar. OK, maybe the comparison to Harold and Kumar is a little unfair, but really I had never expected Sex and the City to rely on fart jokes for comic relief.

People comment that those who rate this movie badly are either men, or just not fans of the show. From my perspective the fans of the show should be the ones most disappointed by the travesty that was this film.

We grew to love the show because of its honesty towards sexual issues, its shocking but clever dialog, and its characters who, however unreal with their designer obsessions, uncontrollable spending and lack of real jobs, remained true to their personas regarding sex, relationships, commitment, independence.

The show was about sex. The movie is about love, and treats the subject from the weakest, corniest and most disappointing standpoint.

This movie is a fake Fendi. Dropping 15 designer names in one sentence, showing bulging men's underpants and orgasming at the sight of huge closets, Sex and the City does not make.

As for me, I will keep watching the reruns and pretend this movie never happened.