The Courier

A Courier (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is tasked with delivering a package to a crime boss (Mickey Rourke) thought to be dead. Hilarity ensues.

"Yeah, I Watched This Movie". That's the attitude I had when "The Courier" reached its conclusion. We have seen this type of movie before, often, and we have had more fun at the expense of a larger budget. But like so many other movies nowadays, we feel a bit let-down when the screen goes black.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, an exceptional actor who never seems to be the right fit for his character, does the best he can with what he has. His character wakes up in a crummy apartment infested with mice. He uses superglue to fix a nasty cut. Yet despite all this self-loathing, he has good friends and family that he cares about. What's with that?

The female lead is bizarre. Her hairstyle makes it appear as if her follicles are desperate to escape from her scalp, and considering how bad it is, I can't blame it for trying. She also has an unnecessary dubbing-over occasionally when she speaks. Perhaps they shot the film and forgot to record her at places.

Mickey Rourke and Til Schweiger, the other draws on the cover, are under and wrongly used. Rourke's head is only visible for the first half of his scenes, the latter's introduction is corny. Schweiger's bodyguard hasn't ever seemed to have used a fire arm before, let alone in a movie.

An odd assortment of has-beens and ne'er-do-wells fill out the rest of the cast. Lily Taylor and Miguel Ferrer play a Team Rocket type pair of villains who never say much besides grunts and gunshots. Mark Margolis, the definitive "that guy!" of actors plays Morgan's dad, or something. I'll give you one guess as to his fate.

"Yeah, I Watched That Movie." That is what I will say to people when they ask if I have seen "The Courier". And it might take me a minute to remember exactly what they are talking about.

"Walking out the door doesn't mean it's over." The courier (Morgan) is the best at what he does. If you have a package that needs to be delivered he will ask no questions and get it there on time. When he is approached with a deal, deliver a briefcase and get a million dollars, but if he fails his family will be killed. Realizing he has no choice he accepts. When he finds out the recipient is a feared killer and people he meets are out to get him the job becomes much more then a simple delivery. I know what you thinking...this sounds like the "Transporter" and you couldn't be more wrong. The courier in this movie doesn't drive everywhere, he runs too. He doesn't find a girl in the trunk of a car, he just finds her. He doesn't try and deliver a briefcase to someone but ends up being a target himself....wait...never mind. This is not a 100% copy but it's close. I like Morgan but Statham is really the only one who should do this role. If you liked the "Transporter" then you will probably like this one. The ending did make it a little better and the second half was entertaining but this is pretty much "Transporter 4". Overall, not bad but they should have called it what it is. I give it a B-.

This movie certainly had style. It seemed to be directed well. Editing was crisp enough and on the surface it looked pretty interesting. Cinematography was basically very good and quite inventive with a lot of action. But the whole package was a mile wide and an inch deep because the screenplay was a muddled mess, the storyline was laughably inane. Mickey Rourke and Lili Taylor, two actors who can really deliver the goods, were incredibly wasted and about a third of the way into it you realized it was going to be all style and no substance, and that was when I just stopped caring. A clue as to what happened comes when the credits roll. Producers, co producers, associate producers, executive producers galore. Too many cooks in the kitchen destroyed the soup. I've never quite seen a movie like this that had promise and so much energy put into production, but ultimately fell flat on it's face. The first movie that I've seen where I'm completely at a loss as how to rate.

Never heard of this movie before? Well, keep it that way! There is absolutely nothing worth seeing about this movie, that is basically being just a very standard modern action flick, with a poor story but even worse storytelling.

Quite weird and surprising to learn that this movie got directed by Hany Abu-Assad, who definitely has class and skills in him and is mostly known for directing smaller type of movies, with a strong message in them. Most definitely not dumb action flicks such as this one!

I can see what kind of approach they were going for but they obviously failed with it. They tried to create a smaller and more realistic type of action movie but the story and its characters really aren't suited for that. I actually believe I might had liked this movie better, had it been done as a silly and over-the-top action-flick, in a more '80's type of style.

The movie has a very simple concept but it makes things needlessly difficult. Because of this you will start to loose interest in it all pretty fast and after a while you simply have no idea what is going on anymore, simply because you just don't care about anything that is happening. The storytelling really makes this a far from pleasant movie to follow. Just imaging a Chuck Norris flick, with all of its clichés, getting told as a serious movie. That should give you an idea of how this movie is like.

Those who are looking for a movie with plenty of action to enjoy will also end up feeling disappointed by this movie. This movie feels like such an extremely low-budget one and things don't get any more exciting than a couple of poorly filmed gunfights. Certainly nothing spectacular, surprising or exciting about this movie.

Just forget about it!

4/10

http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

... you can't be bothered to write a review. This is one of those films.

and now I have to fill out 10 lines of text for the minimum review length. Sometimes I sort of wish I never started doing something, so I guess in a way writing this review is very much like The Courier, essentially pointless and a complete waste of my time and not even getting to the level of 'so bad it's good'. It's actually amazing that I've managed to write this much to be honest, I only finished watching The Courier 10 minutes ago and it's already slipping out of my brain to the extent that I'm not entirely sure what actually happened at the end anymore (the first half has gone already). Normally this would be good as valuable brain space isn't being taken up by The Courier but I expect by the end of the day all memory of this very forgettable film will be erased from my memory which leaves the very real possibility that one day in the future I might see it's title when I'm looking for some rubbish action film to watch and actually waste my time by watching it again with a nagging sense of déjà vu and I won't be sure if it's because I've watched the courier before or that it's just generic rubbish.

So that's 10 lines of text done (in fact more than 10 lines which is a lot more than The Courier deserves) so I'm going to do something more interesting than watching The Courier such as watching paint dry or sitting in a dark empty room.