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One-Eyed Monster, the story of a blood-thirsty penis on the rampage. If you're reading this blurb of a review, you've most likely seen other flicks that are like One-Eyed Monster. You may have seen Teeth, Bad Biology or maybe even Killer Pussy, so you're probably pretty psyched to check out another flick with deranged genitals. And if you really enjoyed any of the above films, you should definitely give this film a look. If you didn't like them, there's no reason for you to watch this one. It's just more of the same goofy genital humor.

A blazing meteorite/beam of energy type thing crashed into Ron Jeremy as he was star-gazing at the night sky. Not long after, the new found home of the alien entity is now on the loose (it detached itself) and on the rampage. Throw in some forgettable characters and situations, and you got One-Eye Monster. It's basically just a slasher film with a killer penis on the loose.

There's not much to be really impressed with in this flick. The humor is okay, with maybe a few smiles or giggles throughout. Though, I do have to admit the jokes, although pretty weak, are delivered with charm and it's obvious all actors involved are pretty into the film. Well besides Mr. Napier. His character was either hit or miss. His long story, telling his bizarre memory of Vietnam was a total snooze. The black dude was like a bad soap opera star, and brought a forgettable serious role to the film. Actually whenever the movie tried to go serious, it fell flat. Almost everyone else played an OTT role and for the main part did an alright job.

A big gripe was the lack of nudity in this one. There was one scene of boobs, and I think that was it. If they had a scene where they showed a full naked Ron Jeremy, the house would have come down. Shame. They kept the nudity to one chick and the fake alien weiner. Also, the gore is very minimal. Remember in the trailer where the guy gets split in half? That, and a couple sprays of blood is all I can remember. That was disappointing as well.

I had high hopes for this new entry into the subgenre of genital horror, but I was let down once again. The jokes and silly acting was abundant so you may laugh a bit, but it's just an average to below-average comedy. And as a horror, as it is a hor/com, it doesn't do well there either. The gore was weak, the nudity disappointing and the situations bland and cliché.

If you're easily pleased, and all you need is the idea of a killer penis to make you happy, you should be golden. But if you have experience with these types of movies, this is just more of the same. Just so you know where I stand with the above flicks that I mentioned, I enjoyed Killer Pussy (great nudity) and Teeth (bizarre dark humor) about equal, with this next and Bad Biology (tried way too hard to be funny) last.

The premise is bold and charming enough, and "it's raining dick" does qualify as a classic monologue. But ultimately, there's not enough meat here to satisfy.

The biggest fail is poor Amber Benson, who clearly joined the project late on to provide a 'name' of sorts. It's painfully obvious that she was actually green-screened in to several scenes in post production, often with wildly different encoding/film stock than the other cast. Somewhere out there is a no-name actress who shot those scenes and who was simple overlayed with the usefully chunky Ms Benson. I weep for her, and for her career.

Don't get me wrong: with the right amount of moonshine in you, this is quite a fun film, amiably played and competently written and shot, but it's too good to be bad enough to be good, but not good enough to enjoy on its merits, if you follow.

Despite the surprisingly solid performances from all the cast, the script and story failed to deliver on a fresh and unique premise.

The film either had a genre identity crisis or was quite simply pushed on to celluloid before the script was properly polished. It's like watching a professional crew film a first draft script.

It ran the gamut between clever and stupid and often found its cruising speed on the ridiculous and mundane. A better knowledge of the initial setting would also have been helpful.

I was expecting / hoping for a solid dark comedy with horror undertones, but was painfully disappointed. So many obvious comedic dialogue opportunities were missed, plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, and story choices that defied common sense, left me with the impression of a family funded backyard film project, despite the professional production values.

I would recommend this film to aspiring screenwriters to see what their 1st draft scripts would look like on screen...

A hostile alien wreaks havoc on the cast and crew of an adult movie.

I think the plot of this film more or less explains why it is such a great horror comedy. Ron Jeremy is taken over by an alien, his penis detaches itself... and then it starts killing people. I guess you could screw this up, but they did not.

The film revolves around jokes -- dozens and dozens of jokes. You might think after two or three penis jokes it would get stale, but it never really does. Combined with a fair amount of gore and just a hint of sex, it keeps your attention and your laughter throughout. (For a film about a bunch of born stars, the nudity is very tame -- only one person is even partially naked, and then only for a minute.)

Oh, and Charles Napier. Wow. A serious actor, with plenty of solid credits behind him... and he appears in a film where he not only fights a penis, but delivers one of the greatest monologue ever spoken about aliens in Vietnam. Priceless. This speech alone is worth the view.

There are no words that can describe the boringness that is this film. When I saw the trailer, I expected a slapstick horror-movie that makes fun of both the cliché's in porn and horror-genres. Instead, this movie gets boring very quickly and for the most part is just people talking nonsense to each other with weird 'jokes' that never seem to go anywhere. I expected a little bit more entertainment from a movie about a penis that goes around killing people.

The gore is also pretty nonexistent which was a letdown for me. I thought that a movie like this would at least go all the way with the killings, but this movie is actually pretty tame except for perhaps the shots of people wrestling with a rubber dildo. Some of the conversations are okay and can be pretty funny if it wasn't delivered so utterly uninspired and boring. I know this is the third time I mentioned the word boring, but its really all you need to know about this movie. Its actually pretty amazing that the creators could make this movie boring with the plot that it has, but they did it.

If you are looking for a good nonsense horror-movie to watch with your buddies like I was, then don't stop here. This movie is mostly sleep- inducing and forgettable crap that doesn't deliver what you expect from it. Three stars go out to the cast and crew that did a decent job of working with the little they were given.

Once again reviews and ratings on IMDb cannot be trusted. I could make a better movie than this with a budget of $500 by taping a web camera to my dog's belly pointing backwards, and capturing his bowel movements. I am not exaggerating. Watching feces drop from a dog's anus would be about 20 times more entertaining than this load of cr@p was. Not funny at all, acting was atrocious, story went nowhere. 10 minutes into the film I was hoping a plane would crash into my house and end my suffering. The only usefulness this film could possibly have is to use it as a medium punish children who refuse to behave. After forcing them to watch ten minutes of this turd they would find religion, repent their sins, and join a monastery, probably taking oaths of silence, deafness, and blindness. This is Ron Jeremy's worst performance to date, and I'm pretty sure at some point before this, he played a dead body and loudly farted during the scene. If permanent blindness is your idea of a good time, by all means watch this brain cell killing abortion. Incurable foot fungus is more entertaining. I would rather die of scrofula than watch this "movie" again. I'm also fairly certain this "movie" gave me tapeworms. The only good thing about this film is I think it killed my liver fluke about 30 minutes in.

i have only seen this once before, the last time i saw, it was silly and fun.

Now seeing for second time, it feel a little tame the second times around, the jokes are still funny.

Which the over the top plot, i did notice there not much gore in this movie at all, i didn't not like the fact some of the deaths scenes were off screen.

did chuckle at one deaths scenes that was on screen and when that tailwager attacks the victims at first was funny, it got a bit boring as the movie went on.

I really enjoyed some references to other horror pass horror movies, which were fun to watch

The acting from whole cast was really good, as they made even more silly and fun to watch.

6 out of 10 for

ONE-EYED MONSTER is a low rent comedy horror that makes use of real-life porn-film legend, Ron Jeremy. The plot is preposterous - an alien life force comes to each and possesses Jeremy's detached penis before going on a killing spree - but the execution is surprisingly likable given the paucity of imagination and the sheer dumbness of the premise.

The story template is pretty much a rip-off of Carpenter's THE THING, with characters holed up in a snowbound cabin and finding themselves bumped off one by one by an unseen premise. The special effects aren't up to much, so they're wisely left off-screen for the most part, which I think was a good idea. The humour is quite funny in places and as a whole the film is funnier than I'd expected. It's also tamer than you might think and rarely distasteful.

Oddly enough, the best acting comes from the two genuine porn stars in the film, Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart. Jeremy in particular comes across as a lovable goof rather than anything else. B-movie fans will enjoy the presence of old-time cult star Charles Napier in a supporting role, although my favourite character is the geeky Ed Bryne-lookalike sound technician.

Let's face it. Right now, the world is not a fun place. Thankfully, the people behind One Eyed Monster have provided a magnum (condom) opus of fun.

On a remote porn shoot, a killing spree begins at the "hands" of the titular character. The comedy often comes from juxtaposition of standard horror responses and scenarios with a very non-standard monster. Don't want to spoil it for anyone who can't figure it out.

Performances are solid throughout the cast, but I'd have to say that the standout is Jason Graham in the role of Jonah. Graham has charisma and I wouldn't be surprised to see him in major Hollywood releases in the near future. Of course, Amber Benson gives a solid turn as the makeup girl with a crush on Ron Jeremy. And Ron Jeremy? His purposefully wooden acting during the porn shoot perfectly balances the bit of heart he has when commiserating with fellow veteran Veronica Hart.

If you are looking for a think piece about the travesties of the justice system or the inequities of societal living, this is not your movie (you pompous pompous person).

If you want some good laughs, look to One Eyed Monster to give them to you.

Adult star Ron Jeremy owes his success is to the veritable monster. In this raunchy horror comedy, Ron's legendary livelihood becomes a literal monster after he is struck by a strange light from outer space. Inhabited by an alien force, Jeremy's unproportional appendage detaches itself from his body and goes on the rampage, killing the cast and crew of a hardcore movie being filmed at a remote cabin in the Californian mountains.

I really wasn't expecting to enjoy this crazy comedy, but was pleasantly surprised by how funny it actually is, the fun script taking the monster movie genre's many clichés and subverting them to suit the adult movie setting. Jeremy is actually a far better actor than I remembered, but is killed off fairly quickly (but not before delivering the poignant line "All I can do is kiss the tip"), leaving it up to Amber Benson (Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Jeremy's frequent real-life co-star Veronica Hart, cult actor Charles Napier (Supervixens), and a handful of unknowns to battle the orifice-obsessed alien-possessed pecker. Hat's off to Caleb Mayo as T.J., the MacGyver of the group (inventor of the neuro tactile simulator), sexy Carmen Hart for providing the nudity as brunette adult star Angel, and Jason Graham as hero Jonah, who delivers his ridiculous lines with a stoicism and seriousness guaranteed to delight.

My major complaint - and I can't believe I'm writing this - is that the film simply doesn't feature enough of Ron Jeremy's disembodied dong: some stop-motion footage of it crawling like an inchworm (or a nine inch worm, as one character remarks) or the use of puppetry to show it attacking its victims would have helped immensely (although I understand that the budget may have not stretched to this). Also, Napier's long monologue about his experience with a similar monster in Vietnam isn't quite the hilarious show-stopper that it was clearly intended to be.

Still, with a couple of hot women (Carmen Hart, plus blonde babe Jenny Guy as her fellow adult performer Wanda), a smattering of gore (the one-eyed-monster poking a hole through Angel's head and slicing sleazy producer Jim in half), and a huge helping of smutty silliness, One-Eyed Monster does what it sets out to do: provide 84 minutes of puerile fun.

Aliens and adult films. What could they possibly have in common?

You know it's "adult" because Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart are in it. They are off in the woods making an adult film when the strangest thing happens.

Ron is invaded by the alien force which settles in his penis. It detaches itself, and is now terrorizing the group.

Needless to say, it is a funny movie. In fact, it gets downright ridiculous.

Jason Graham and Amber Benson were excellent.

If you liked Teeth, you will enjoy this one.

A low budget cheap production that somehow managed to put together a "movie". A pretty decent start but gets bored too quickly and lost its charm. I learned a thing or two about the porn industry from this movie.

A low budget cheap production that somehow managed to put together a "movie". A pretty decent start but gets bored too quickly and lost its charm. I learned a thing or two about the porn industry from this movie.

A low budget cheap production that somehow managed to put together a "movie". A pretty decent start but gets bored too quickly and lost its charm. I learned a thing or two about the porn industry from this movie.

The crew shooting a pornography film head toward on old cabin in the middle of nowhere, not knowing some manner of alien is planning to invade the earth by using the genitalia of one of their members.

Premise seems interesting, but unfortunately the final product while entertaining, is still far away from what could have been. Naturally the movie doesn't take itself seriously but it never feels like its using its full potential. Pretty strange how those rare occasions where nudity and sexual situations are central to the theme, there's actually less than many films where such things feel completely gratuitous. The characters, thankfully have some effort put into them, without the movie getting depressing as victims are killed off.

For what its worth, this movie is far superior to "Penetration Angst" and "Teeth", although that's not saying much.

As B-Horror movies go, "One Eyed Monster" is a unique hit. You have to love Ron Jeremy...the porn star who refuses to take himself too seriously. The premise is almost unheard of. You have to watch "Pervert!" to find another movie where a detached penis is the serial killer. Of course, THIS movie is MUCH better because the actors do a much better job. "One Eyed Monster" is absolutely hilarious. It's simple, stupid and completely enjoyable. And, oddly enough, when you consider the subject material, there is a veritable lack of nudity throughout the movie. Just that fact alone is amazing when you consider porn actresses Veronica Hart and Carmen Hart are also in the movie. There are a lot of lines which you will be repeating because they are just so silly. You gotta watch this!

This film is so funny it really is underrated one I'd reccomend if you want a laugh

Okay, so while lying in bed trying to die of an awful, awful cold, I ran across this title on the movie guide and after convulsing into uncontrollable laughter, thought "Naw....it just COULDN'T be about THAT!!!.." Oh, but it is!!!!! I saw Ron Jeremy's name and thought "now that name sounds familiar..." Suffice it to say, it is indeed THAT Ron Jeremy, the alltime super porn star of the 70s/80s who was known far and wide for his one-eyed monster.

This is a very clever take on that theme. A porn film crew goes to Northern California to shoot a movie and gets trapped by a blizzard, a "shooting star" (no pun intended) and of course the one-eyed monster that positively terrorizes the entire crew. Believe it or not, the production values are quite good, elevating this waaay above cheesy. Moreover, the ensemble cast is excellent while the writing is crisp, witty, and hilarious. Of course it was also sick and twisted but I laughed until I cried. The outstanding performances, hands down, are those of Veronica Hart, an aging porn star who eventually "saves the day," (you will NOT be well for how she does it!!!), and a positively hilarious turn by none other than Charles Napier.

Hate to be so cryptic but if your tastes run the gamut from the absurd to the sublime (this most assuredly being sublime), this should DEFINITELY be part of your collection. It is quite funny and though it didn't cure my cold, it sure made me forget I had one!! January 6, 2013 - watched again for about the 8th time - eeeeeeeeeeexcellent way to bring in the New Year!!!! - movie just rocks!!!! :0)

....but this movie is surprisingly watchable.

Let's just get this straight, there is nothing new here. One-Eyed Monster "borrows" from several "Aliens take over the world" movies. It is derivative in overall story and alien presentation to at least a dozen films. Several scenes, themselves, are practically snatched out of other flicks and inserted at will here.

What makes this movie entertaining is it's level of campiness. The special effects are terrible, but that only adds to the comedic silliness. The actors and actresses do a fine job in this sci/fi black comedy. Never thought I would type these words, but Jeff Denton is brilliant as the sleazy director. Usually terrible in any movie he does (and very often fodder in my IMDb reviews), Jeff Denton steals every one of his scenes. If you come across this movie on the Sci/Fi Channel, or if you could pick it up cheaply on eBay, it is certainly worth at least one viewing. Just don't expect to see "Independence Day."

One just has to love a movie that has balls! Oh, wait a minute, I didn't mean it that way! A rather typical "monster attacks isolated group" movie becomes a lot more fun when the group is a bunch of porn film people and the monster is the penis of Ron Jeremy!

And it just gets better. Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart star in it and, before the unthinkable happens, they manage to slip some commentary on the adult business nowadays. Is it any different than the comments of disgruntled senior citizens in other horror movies? YES! Because they are porn stars. OK, maybe when I put it this way it sounds terribly cliché, but it somehow wasn't! All the reused scenes from other movies that I would disgustedly call clichés, in this one they become omages to classic horror films.

Bottom line: it makes a perfect fun beer movie with a bunch of friends. Girls could not possibly understand this, except maybe for the Kegel references.