Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe

This film has a very simple but somehow very bad plot. The entire movie is about a girl getting sucked through a gate to another dimension then years later it gets opened again by a witch while a group of friends (including the lead actor who is having trouble getting over his ex girlfriend who is one of the other campers along with her new partner... another girl... that's right they're lesbians and there is some nudity of course for no particular reason). Unfortunately demon follows the now adult girl back through. Also unfortunately, none of this is ever explained. Where exactly were they? Where did the demon come from? How did she survive as a child in a place full of evil demons? Who the hell trained her and made her a gladiator type outfit? The acting is terrible I think but it's hard to tell because the writing is so bad maybe there was just nothing they could do with it. I give it a three because the wrestler was pretty good and the effects were pretty fun even though they were very cheap. I would not recommend it, it wasn't quite bad enough to be funny.

This movie kept me up one night not because it was scary but because it fell into that category of movie that is so bad in that way that you can't tear yourself away. Cheesy is the word. Bare bones plot, bad FX, guys and girls on a camping trip, skin shots and some gratuitous sex(that means it has nothing to do with the plot, just there because it's sex) and, because it's the 2000's and not the 70's said sex is between girls. They make many more like this they are going to have to start building drive-ins again.

The plot isn't difficult to follow being on the thin side not to mention one doesn't know if it is supposed to be horror or comedy. Father accidentally opens portal to other dimension. Daughter gets sucked in and is converted to be a demon fighter. 20 years later guy having problems with letting go former girlfriend organizes camping trip with former gf and friends. Would be witch recites the portal again and little girl, now all grown up, springs through, followed by a demon who starts killing the friends. Standard horror plot though there is a bit of a twist on the guy gets girl usual ending. It's so bad it's good though no who, why or wherefore is given as to why this girl is kidnapped and trained as a demon fighter other than the fact that there is a demon. Also the training scenes are so disjointed and quick cut that one might not figure out what the hell is going on.

Citizen Kane it ain't but for good, cheesy can't stop watching, it more than fits the bill.

When Jay Reso aka Christian Cage departed the WWE there were a few goals he wanted to achieve, one of which was to become a world champion, and the other was to try his luck in the acting field. The first part certainly came true as he quickly rose to the top of TNA and finally received the recognition he deserves, and now the second is becoming true with the release of Dark Rising on DVD. Billed under his real name, Jay Reso, Christian, plays Ricky in this rather unique blend of comedy and horror.

The films lead character, Jason, is going through a rough time. Recently his fiancé broke off their relationship, but Jason cant let go of his feelings for her, Meanwhile, his ex, Jasmine has moved on in a whole different way as she has now adopted lesbianism as her way of life, which provides for a lot of the sexiness of this film as there is some full on make out sessions with her new girlfriend. As a last ditch effort to woo Jasmine back, Jason, alongside his good buddy Ricky (Reso) organizes a camping trip and invites, Jasime, and her two friends, not realizing one of them is her new girlfriend.

After seeing the movie poster and reading what I've written so far your probably wondering if im talking about the right movie, Its the same thought that went through my mind when I received the DVD, and having read the movies plot on the internet weeks before getting into my hands, This is where the films unique plot twist comes into play.

Jasmine and her two friends, Marlene and Renee are aspiring witches, as mentioned though, Jasmine and Marlene are more interested in making out than actually mastering any sort of witchcraft powers. Leaving Renee, who is a bit of a bookworm, and with that determination, she accidentally opens a portal to another world. This allows Summer Vale, a lost little girl, who when she was young was dragged into this other world to return to earth,all grown up with battle axe in hand. I know it sounds like this comes out of no where but her disappearance is explained off the top of the film. Also passing through the portal is a demon, long story short, it must be stopped, and Summer is the one to do so.

I gotta admit, the story is kinda weird, and at times I found myself wondering if I should be taking parts as a scary scene or as a comedic scene, That may be the beauty of the films story as you could often take it either way, ultimately though taking each scene for what it was and just trying to watch the progression of the film, not to mention the rather enjoyable sex scenes, I made it through Dark Rising and didn't regret watching the film at all.

Christian is a natural in this film, his wrestling days probably helped him a lot here as his character was almost your typical heel in that he is usually the cocky in charge ladies man, but when faced with some overcoming adversity morphs into the coward role. I honestly think that he has the potential for a future in the acting field.

The DVD offers all your typical bonus features including the behind the scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, and director/cast commentary, but also offers a complete TNA Wrestling match between Christian Cage and Rhino inside a six sides of steel barbed wire cage match from a November 2006 edition of Impact.

Dark Rising is your typical bad, obviously quickly produced horror/sci-fi/fantasy movie. It has a strange, unexplained plot with holes so big you could fit an elephant through them. Most of the time I didn't know what the hell was going on but it didn't really matter, it was a simple demon hunter returns from hell dimension to save campers story with confusing stuff added on about witches and a book of evil with plot elements and characters who make no sense or disappear totally for no reason. The acting is bad but there honestly is not much they can do with this script I am guessing. There is a couple topless scenes which is probably the only reason this bad movie got made (like so many other bad movies). Give this one a pass unless there is nothing else on T.V.

This movie is lame and not funny at all. The plot doesn't even make sense. Some scientist who works on the fringes of science opens a doorway to another dimension (maybe hell???) and his daughter gets sucked through it or something, then one day for no apparent reason she comes back and now she has big breasts and wears a skimpy outfit (I guess the demons in the other dimension made it for her?) The main character is a guy who wants to marry his girlfriend but she is gay so obviously she's more interested in her new girlfriend, and they stumble upon this witch spell book (they want to be witches or something???) and the evil spell ends up getting read again which is how the evil demon comes to earth which only the bikini top girl and the spurned guy in love can stop apparently. There is topless scenes for no reason and a guy in it who my boyfriend says is a well known wrestler but his part is completely unnecessary, obviously they made something up just to put him in it because then maybe wrestling fans will actually watch this pointless movie. I'm sure the topless girls doesn't hurt there either. The extra features on the DVD were even more confusing than the rest of the movie, I thought it might help explain what was going on but it actually just made things more confusing. Who are these people and what are they doing? Basically this is a go-camping-to-make-out-then-fight-a-monster movie but there are a bunch of things (like the other dimension and book seller) than make it confusing. I didn't like the movie but it was only like five bucks so big deal. I don't recommend watching it though it was just too stupid, I can't think of any part of the movie that was good.