Blood & Guts

After seeing Christina DeRosa in Run! Bitch! Run!, I just had to see more. This was her first film with a credited role, and I would expect it be on the same level.

Now, this is a B movie, low budget horror movie that pokes fun of other slasher flicks. Don't expect great acting, fabulous sets, or anything but blood, zombies, and gratuitous nudity, and you won't be disappointed.

Nothing special.

Mindless entertainment.

Easily forgettable.

I wasn't expecting too much from this film when I watched it on Netflix. I think you have to have an appreciation for independent horror films to like this movie. The story was fairly typical a group of teenager get together for some debauchery in an old house then are killed off one by one. Very typical and classic formula, but it works. The soundtrack was good as well, I ended up downloading 7k album. The movie is shot in that low budget 80's way that makes it a little grainy/ hazy. The ending was great; it made me laugh, especially the little girl. I don't know if this movie is still available on netflix, but I feel it is very much worth your time to watch this. It is a little cheesy but the good kind of cheesy.

I have no idea how anyone can give this movie high marks. I didn't rent it thinking it was the next great horror flick, the next great horror spoof, or the next great low-budget horror spoof. Obviously, this isn't meant to scare, but one fatal flaw with the production entirely sapped the joy out of the viewing experience. The sound editing was horrible. I had to work the volume control the entire movie. You can imagine how difficult it is to get into something - even a low-budget spoof - when you're either turning the volume up or down, or trying to anticipate the next time you have to do so. The regular dialogue is very low, and all screams, noises, etc., are VERY loud. We're not talking about toggling between 5 and 7 on the volume control, finding a happy medium at 6. We're talking toggling between 2 and 9 on the volume where it is virtually impossible to leave the volume alone. Again, this movie might be a decent example of what it is meant to be, but you're going to be spending so much time adjusting your volume control that you'll never have the chance to enjoy it.

There is such a thing as parody and parody can be very bad and still be very good. There is such a thing as camp and camp can be very bad and still be very good. There is also such a thing as flat out bad - nothing can save flat out bad and this dreck could be submitted as definitive of flat out bad. Not scary, not funny, badly filmed, possibly the worst sound I have ever not been able to avoid hearing, This is the first 'movie' I have ever attempted to watch. Literally - this is the first movie I have ever started and then simply given up on. I made it through twenty minutes and realized there was simply no reason to go on with the movies and stopped watching lest I start believing there was no reason to go on with life. The people who have given this movie good reviews are either high or getting paid.

To illustrate just how low I will go (in several directions: Zardoz had moments of genius, Piranhaconda could be seen in certain lights as an act of cinematic wonder, any Chuck Norris movie features better acting, every youtube video ever features better filming, every Michael Bay film ever has featured better dialogue, Bad Taste featured genuinely funny gore.

Just don't.

Who did post production on the audio? A deaf guy with no arms or eyes who couldn't monitor the levels? Christ the audio has more fluctuations than the last girl I dated, and she was a real doozy AT BEST. I've heard better audio come out of a squirrels tiny butthole with better clarity. They have equipment specifically designed for this purpose. Seriously, it was all over the place. Was like having 10 five year olds in my living room one minute and the corpse of my long dead grandmother the next. Do you seriously not see the levels pegging the red zone and not between 80 yo 100 percent, which is the audio standard for acceptable levels. I could give my nephew a vhs camcorder, 5 bucks and a box of twinkies and have him fart in a toilet and it would come out like Shawshank Effing Redemption compared to this drivel.