The Love Guru

I have seen some awful movies. Movies that just aren't that great, aren't interesting, lack that certain spark that a Great Movie always has. I knew, walking in to screen this movie this morning, that this would lack that certain spark. I knew this would not be a Great Movie, but I expected it to be at least somewhat funny -- it is, after all, a comedy. And as for expecting the rest of it to be stupid, well, it went above and beyond: it was absolutely ridiculous.

Generally, I'm indifferent to Mike Myers' stupid (for lack of a better word) humor. There have been some genuinely funny moments in past movies, but you won't find more than two or maybe even three in this one. The entire movie was basically sexual innuendo after innuendo after innuendo after humping elephants.

At one point, I wanted to bash my head against a wall. This supposed "comedy" was absolute torture to sit through.

But Stephen Colbert is interesting -- has a few funny lines -- and Jessica Alba was very pretty. Also, Verne Troyer has quite the clever line -- in the credits, that is.

I suppose one thing to say about this movie is, while not exactly in a positive light, it will likely always be in your memory, never forgotten. Although, keep in mind: seeing a movie should never hurt this much.

Mike Myers is a talented guy, but this vehicle is an embarrassment. The funniest parts are gleefully juvenile, but they are, unfortunately, outnumbered by gags that are simply juvenile or, worse yet, juvenile and mean-spirited. For example, some of the jokes directed at Verne Troyer's character sound like they were uttered by a 15-year-old classroom bully, not written by an intelligent man in his forties. I'm all in favor of offending PC sensibilities whenever possible, but do it right: cracks about Keebler elves show are just stupid and artistically lazy.

More scenes of young Pitka might have explained better how he grew into the adult he became, and Rajneesh could have been fleshed out a bit. I suspect that a lot of character development and back story were left on the cutting room floor. What should have been cut were the cameos that were either pointless or self-referential without being truly funny.

The plot wasn't exactly Citizen Kane quality, but it could have worked with better writing. After all, if anything cries out for satiric treatment, it's the self-help and New Age movements. With such target-rich subject matter, how did Myers manage to make such a dud? I think that it's a case of plain self-indulgence. Jim Carrey and Robin Williams are two other talented, over-the-top funny men who do some of their best work when they show restraint and don't play themselves. Someone should have reined in Myers on this one.

For his penance, I suggest that he lay off comedy for a while and do a few dramatic roles - including supporting ones - as he did (quite well) in "54." Williams and Carrey have shown other dimensions of themselves in dramatic roles, and I'm sure Myers can, too.

To call this the worst movie of the year, or the worst movie ever shown in theaters, is sheer pompousness at its best.

That being said; this is by no means a great movie. It is hilariously crude, random, and quirky, but the humour is obviously not for everyone. The Love Guru uses a tried, but true, comedy formula and rarely strays from it. However; some of the off-the-wall jokes will have you laughing your face off, and will keep returning to your mind, making you laugh days after you watched the film. The acting is par, and Steven Colbert delivers the funniest performance I've seen in a long while.

Don't go into this film looking for genius or groundbreaking comedy mastery; go into this film expecting a decent laugh which you won't regret.

Its a pretty cheesy film full of basic jokes and an even more basic premise.

It doesn't take itself as seriously as I think some of the people rating the movie are.

Was certainly much better than I had expected. Is it Myers best? Of course not but its not bad with some good highlights.

I may be a bit generous with the star-rating system, true. But I do know what I was feeling after the credits started rolling. Disappointment. And don't get me wrong. I am a huge Mike Myers fan. I am a devout fan of Austin Powers, Wayne's World (where's #3 in the series???), and, actually, yes, I did enjoy Cat in the Hat, although it was not a piece of art. And I understand if fans of Mike Myers will still go to see this film. I did after all, even after reading the terrible reviews. Sadly, this time, the critics were correct. Mike knows better. The director should've known better. Mike Myers's return to live action comedy is more than disappointing. Even the character, Your Holiness the Guru Pitka, was unlikeable (which is a first for a Mike Myers character). He was so full of himself, so damn selfish, no one cared if he succeeded. His giggle-fits were too common to spark a slight giggle from the audience. And although the women in the film were pure eye-candy (Jessica Alba, Meagan Good, even Mariska Hargitay and Jessica Simpson made cameos), they became little more than that with such a flat script. Sorry Mike. Maybe next time. A fourth Austin Powers would be quite a way to get back in the game with your biggest fans:)