Tell Me You Love Me

And I'm French... Who wanna see "realistic" sex and relationships problems on screen when you can have lots (and lots, and lots) of them in your real life? Like in a french movie, nobody seems to have (or to need) a job or to care about anything else than their little and meaningless lives. Furthermore, in real life, relationships and sex are directly related to money and job problems and to your social background. Nothing is said in the show about the social aspects of relationships - of course, because otherwise it would never air because it would be truly disturbing. Showing explicit sex (or explicit violence) is always a cheap way for people to pretend that they are "open mind" and "liberal" (like some famous editor of adult content magazines who manages to make everybody forget he's just a pimp). We sure know that in France where 70% of the movies are just soft porn with bad lightening (well, not exactly: the characters have some books in their homes so you can tell you're seeing a "real" movie).

Besides, what's the matter with those women shaved to look like twelve years old little girls or porn "stars"? In Californication there was a very good line about that...

Well, it's difficult to me to understand how people can find this show disturbing. Sadly, they are plenty of more disturbing things in the world. However, if prude people are offended, that's a good point!

"Tell Me You Love Me" represents a watershed event in American entertainment.

There are many of us who have waited for such a series. This is a production that depicts sex as it is. This is entertainment that gives sex the treatment that it deserves. It is a profound type of intimacy --- a type which is guaranteed to repel some viewers from this show.

In the United States, sex is commonly depicted in either one of two ways: as an idyllic, sterile, and clichéd occurrence, which is typically found in movies and television --- or as an avaricious, cheap, and vulgar act, which is the usual portrayal in pornography. Neither of these are representative of sex in the real world.

Now, Cynthia Mort has challenged us to look at what happens in the bedroom without any illusions. It is doubtless that she and her production crew are wondering whether we can handle it. Certainly, there will be viewers who watch the show solely to enjoy all the skin, as well as others who will excoriate it as nothing more than pretentious dirt.

Yet despite its highly graphic depictions, this series is far more concerned with the repercussions of sexual relations in committed relationships. A viewer who loses sight of this fact should question whether one's attention was paid to the whole show or merely to the sex scenes. "Tell Me You Love Me" is not about the sex act itself. It is about what sex means to men and women.

H.L. Mencken wrote that anyone "who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood." Hopefully, this is the case for HBO, the production team, and especially the cast of the show. This is a brilliant and courageous achievement --- one which may not be fully appreciated in its own time.

HBO has finally won me over after canceling Six Feet Under and Deadwood. "Tell Me You Love Me" is a one hour show on the lives of three women and their significant others: Meet Jaime (Michelle Borth), a young chef with commitment fears and trust issues. She has ended her engagement to Hugo and tries to move on with her life. Now meet, Katie (Ally Walker, who is amazing) and Dave (Tim DeKay), a suburban married couple with two children and the passion has run out of their marriage. And then there is Carolyn and Palek, a yuppie married couple with no children and plenty of passion in their marriage and trying to have a baby. In fact, Carolyn (Sonya Walger) obsesses about getting pregnant to the point that Palek (Adam Scott) is now doubtful of his ability to be good husband and a good father. The show is very graphic in sexuality, but that is the point. It is often times painful to watch because (for myself especially) there are moments in the show that you can actually relate. From the desperation of bringing passion, joy, and fulfillment into the lives of our characters to emptiness and loneliness they feel. It is heartbreaking to see Katie and Dave become so faraway when they do love each other still. What these people have in common? They are seeing therapist, Dr. May Foster (the formidable and incredible Jane Alexander), who has issues of her own with her long time marriage to her husband but still is adult enough and knows better. The show is honest, raw, and real with amazing performances from the cast. Truly the best dramatic series HBO has put out.

You see, many couples in Australia would never dream of seeing a therapist. The mere stigma of owning up to issues, issues most couples experience, is just too confronting. The worry that friends or family might find out may lead too more sleepless nights, a more important consequence than the actual saving of the marriage. Well in the privacy of ones own home comes "Tell Me You Love Me". A riveting drama more akin to a self - help DVD. We meet a therapist confronting her own problems, deal with the contrasting issues of three couples. The clever positioning of the drama is that the ages of each couple ranges from early 20's to early sixties (the therapist and her past) and the challenges faced by each reflect their stage of life. Sex becomes the key to the healing for each partnership. The sex scenes are explicit and may be confronting but that adds to the spice of the series. The sex experienced by all of the characters helps them to reveal where they are at emotionally. The therapist encourages sexual communication for all her clients but under prescription,and each of her prescriptions are modeled with precision. An important piece of television ...... if you have a partner, sit and watch this together. If the themes bring fresh thoughts and dialogue in your union then maybe you've saved two things. Therapist fees not covered by Medicare or maybe, but more importantly, your relationship.

If you are uncomfortable about therapy, this show is not for you. The marriages depicted here are all broken - as 99% of relationships are - and they're broken enough that therapy is the only way to rescue them. The characters are interesting and deep, and their problems are realistic and almost scary in their accuracy. My favorite is the comments I've seen on some boards and even in HBO's little viewer comment section after each episode - when one of the reviewers said they couldn't imagine sex becoming annoying just because you have to have a lot of it to conceive, my wife and I laughed uproariously and yelled at the screen. Clearly some people just don't understand what it's like to be married! Fortunately, the writers of this show apparently do. There's good and bad, and sometimes you need help figuring out which is which. The show presents a fascinating view of modern marriage without any of the romantic crap and idealism that underlies most of TV today. Bravo, HBO! We're addicted.