Tell Me You Love Me

HBO has finally won me over after canceling Six Feet Under and Deadwood. "Tell Me You Love Me" is a one hour show on the lives of three women and their significant others: Meet Jaime (Michelle Borth), a young chef with commitment fears and trust issues. She has ended her engagement to Hugo and tries to move on with her life. Now meet, Katie (Ally Walker, who is amazing) and Dave (Tim DeKay), a suburban married couple with two children and the passion has run out of their marriage. And then there is Carolyn and Palek, a yuppie married couple with no children and plenty of passion in their marriage and trying to have a baby. In fact, Carolyn (Sonya Walger) obsesses about getting pregnant to the point that Palek (Adam Scott) is now doubtful of his ability to be good husband and a good father. The show is very graphic in sexuality, but that is the point. It is often times painful to watch because (for myself especially) there are moments in the show that you can actually relate. From the desperation of bringing passion, joy, and fulfillment into the lives of our characters to emptiness and loneliness they feel. It is heartbreaking to see Katie and Dave become so faraway when they do love each other still. What these people have in common? They are seeing therapist, Dr. May Foster (the formidable and incredible Jane Alexander), who has issues of her own with her long time marriage to her husband but still is adult enough and knows better. The show is honest, raw, and real with amazing performances from the cast. Truly the best dramatic series HBO has put out.

To speak analogously, Anyone unamused by Tell Me You Love Me just doesn't want to take the deep dive and would rather stay close to shore in shallow water. To those people I say "Your loss!" I WILL BE SHORT HERE.

Given the nature of the sex scenes, I too am genuinely surprised at finding the script and storyline flowing nicely as any HBO show's should. This show makes it's points in evoking our own thoughts and emotions around the issue of love and relationships through the interactions of the character couples. If you can't get by the nudity, then that is unfortunate for you (and paradoxically emphasizes one of the key motifs of the show: HUMAN VULNERABILITY!) Let me reiterate, Right out of the gate, this show is instantly unique for it's no holds-barred depiction of intimacy, but as other reviews suggest: DO NOT LET THIS SWAY YOU. While the sexual choreography is intense, the simultaneous depiction of reality itself (marital freedom, relationship statuses, the burden of children) overshadows the lustiness, creating a truly RAW atmosphere that I personally have yet to see done in television (besides maybe EASY).

The cast truly go balls to the wall in creating brutally real depictions of the phenomena of marriage. Even the slower moments in the anthology of character storylines create a healthy amount of anticipation.

I will keep this review short and just say it is worth giving this show a watch, as there are very few shows with the "extremity through mundanity" that this show has, and it may be AS CLOSE AS WE'LL GET to a a show that accurately depicts the issues of monogamous relationships, and it is weirdly entertaining for it.

"Tell Me You Love Me" represents a watershed event in American entertainment.

There are many of us who have waited for such a series. This is a production that depicts sex as it is. This is entertainment that gives sex the treatment that it deserves. It is a profound type of intimacy --- a type which is guaranteed to repel some viewers from this show.

In the United States, sex is commonly depicted in either one of two ways: as an idyllic, sterile, and clichéd occurrence, which is typically found in movies and television --- or as an avaricious, cheap, and vulgar act, which is the usual portrayal in pornography. Neither of these are representative of sex in the real world.

Now, Cynthia Mort has challenged us to look at what happens in the bedroom without any illusions. It is doubtless that she and her production crew are wondering whether we can handle it. Certainly, there will be viewers who watch the show solely to enjoy all the skin, as well as others who will excoriate it as nothing more than pretentious dirt.

Yet despite its highly graphic depictions, this series is far more concerned with the repercussions of sexual relations in committed relationships. A viewer who loses sight of this fact should question whether one's attention was paid to the whole show or merely to the sex scenes. "Tell Me You Love Me" is not about the sex act itself. It is about what sex means to men and women.

H.L. Mencken wrote that anyone "who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood." Hopefully, this is the case for HBO, the production team, and especially the cast of the show. This is a brilliant and courageous achievement --- one which may not be fully appreciated in its own time.

If you are uncomfortable about therapy, this show is not for you. The marriages depicted here are all broken - as 99% of relationships are - and they're broken enough that therapy is the only way to rescue them. The characters are interesting and deep, and their problems are realistic and almost scary in their accuracy. My favorite is the comments I've seen on some boards and even in HBO's little viewer comment section after each episode - when one of the reviewers said they couldn't imagine sex becoming annoying just because you have to have a lot of it to conceive, my wife and I laughed uproariously and yelled at the screen. Clearly some people just don't understand what it's like to be married! Fortunately, the writers of this show apparently do. There's good and bad, and sometimes you need help figuring out which is which. The show presents a fascinating view of modern marriage without any of the romantic crap and idealism that underlies most of TV today. Bravo, HBO! We're addicted.

Some people will have heard about this show because of its controversy. I did myself. Admittedly, I was intrigued because of the promise of sexual content on TV - HBO, nonetheless. Having now seen the first episode of "Tell Me You Love Me", I know what the show is actually about.

If you're expecting "porn TV", think again. Yes, the show does have several moments of sexual contact, both oral and intercourse, but when they occur it is anything but arousing - instead it's uncomfortably realistic - down to moments of climax, the show does not flinch from showing the explicit.

But soon enough, if you actually watch the show, you'll realise that this isn't what the show is about. Many people will make the mistake of thinking this show is about sex, but it's about relationships, and how sex is used to shield us from the problems of our relationships.

Three different couples are the focus each dealing with different problems; one tries desperately for a baby, one's physical relationship is intense but unreliable in terms of commitment, and one married couple struggles to deal with the lack of sex in their lives. Both the issues raised in the show and the dialogue are uncannily realistic, to the point that you can't help but compare the relationships in the show with your own, and this can sometimes make for uncomfortable viewing - I'd strongly advise against watching this with your partner.