Stranded

This is probably the most awful movie I ever was forced to sit through. I kept waiting for something to happen that was real. But not one moment came and went. Not one. Maybe a few from Carlos Ponce, the detective, but he had almost a cameo role. As for the six bimbos stranded as they say on the island, not one could act their way out of a sand pit. Running around in skimpy bikinis (that ought to sell tickets) and constantly screaming so much you wished they would be wiped out. Just to stop that insane screeching. Making their faces tormented (acting?) and running around going nowhere. I had to mute the sound on the TV set just to cut their shrill voices. Especially the big blond with the big boobs. She drove me crazy. Erica Durance, Brienne De Beau, Michelle Jones, Jessica Lauren, Vane Mellon, Ashley Totin were the babes. Not one can act. Good looking Jack Hartnett (director and writer) played the guy on the rescue mission. Unfortunately, he doesn't last too long.

Where do they get these bimbos for movies? Certainly not from auditions. Or the director was smitten by boobs and bikinis. Because he didn't get one performance from any of them. And, come on, after a while you get tired of looking at bouncing boobs. I can rent a porno for that and get better results with more satisfaction.

Though flawed in several ways, especially in the acting department, this made-for-TV flick does deliver mystery and chills. The film begins as if it were a night-time extension of the "The View," where Barbara Walters and a coterie of similar minds sit around exchanging so-called women ideas in meaningless chitchat. The viewer is anxious for the slashing to begin to eliminate these boring, inane persons, the motive for the killings being bad acting. Then director Kern Konwiser gets the show moving to become entertaining, worthwhile escapist fare.

The plot provides plenty of mystery and intrigue. It seems five attractive young women, really six but one stays behind for business reasons, are on vacation in the Caribbean. One is about to become a bride so her pals wish to treat her to an exciting getaway. As much as the women love men it is somewhat of a puzzle why they want to get away from it all and spend one day on a deserted island. But indeed they do. A rather scroungy, rude "captain" of a rather tattered boat who speaks only Spanish takes them to the isolated island with orders to return for them at the end of the day. Guess what? No show. The five damsels in distress must now fend for themselves until someone comes to their rescue. But who? No one knows where they have gone except the questionable "captain" who has now disappeared. Gradually, they discover they are not alone. Then one by one the women begin to disappear, reminding one of Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None," beginning with five instead of ten. Fortunately, for those left wandering on the island, the sixth pal gets free from her business endeavor, flies to join them, then attempts to seek them out when she finds them missing.

Just when the viewer thinks he/she has figured out the mystery, a new element of suspense is introduced. There are clues given from the beginning so it is possible to unravel the mystery as the show progresses but it requires the viewer to pay close attention to details. Not of Agatha Christie stature; still not bad for a TV movie.

Where the film ultimately falters is in the acting department which is amateurish at best. The top performance is by Carlos Ponce who in reality has only a bit part as Chief Inspector Raddimus; yet he heads the cast, which says a lot about the others, most of whom are newcomers to the medium.

Stranded is a story about 5 scantily clad women who end up on an island. There are few surprises in the plot. The scenery is nice and the camera work lacks noticeable flaws to distract from the storyline. The acting and directing are average at best. I am blessed that I had reading material to entertain me while using this movie for background noise.The most redeeming aspect of this film is the skilled use of the "chicken cutlets". My time would have been better spent reorganizing my silverware drawer. It is no wonder that no member of this cast hasn't had steady work in the acting profession. Comedy would be a more appropriate genre to be assigned this film.

The plot could have been interesting--even suspenseful--if the script had been better and it had been executed by a cast that could actually act.

As is, the movie is so cheesy and the acting so atrocious that you cannot help but watch just to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. Of course, there is also "eye-candy" to distract people from how utterly and horribly insipid the movie is as a whole.

I actually find it shocking that any of the cast managed to make acting their career. Hopefully, they took some acting lessons along the way.

I will say that the location/setting was quite lovely. In the hands of a more capable screenwriter and far better actors, the premise of this movie would make a good film worthy of the term "suspense."

You don't watch this movie expecting Oscar performances. The actresses were all beautiful women, the tropical island lush with vegetation and ringed by bright beaches. There was actually a plot - very brief, but sufficient for the nature of the film. I wanted light entertainment featuring the magnificent Erica Durance in a bathing suit. There was much more than that. The story kept moving - there were several real surprises - the action and plot twists were not overdone. I felt that the film was 'even'; the actors suited to their characters, the tension right for the setting. All in all it was a very pleasant movie to watch, and much better than I was expecting. I shall buy the DVD when it's released.