Netherbeast Incorporated

Good cast. Original story. Funny moments. It just doesn't quite get to its potential. I can't even put my finger on why.

This was alright, but you're not missing anything. I was torn between 4-5 for this one, since it felt like it was *so close*.

Coming off of a vampire-office-comedy kick with Bloodsucking Bastards (good) and The Night Watchmen (not good), I was excited for Netherbeast Inc. I didn't have high expectations, but it seemed quirky and fun as it's a different take on the idea by theming it around a pro-vampire office environment.

It had a really strong/fun opening and a surprisingly recognizable cast. Jason Mewes showing up caught me off guard for sure, but he played a pretty mundane character and didn't bring his usual raunchy-schtick with him.

Contrary to other reviews, I didn't mind their voice-over narration style they used to explain the "rules" of the monsters. I thought it was kind of quirky and it felt like an office meeting with PowerPoint. The office humor was spot-on and a very deadpan depiction of corporate environments.

Overall, though, it just fell flat: The comedy dwindled and became repetitive.

The mystery wasn't very mysterious.

They spent so long clarifying that the "nether beasts" weren't like classic vampires that I would have had a better time if they just committed to that and didn't mention the V-word at all.

With all the stuff they over-explained, they had some pretty big gaps in logic with a few key things they didn't explain at all or well enough to make sense.

Its not terrible, it just felt pretty sub-par. I liked the idea, I liked some of the humor, but it just didn't get there. Its got a lot of 6+ reviews, which is surprising, but it must hit the spot for a lot of people.

I had this movie described to me as a vampire comedy, so I figured I'd like it. It isn't, and I didn't.

The thing is, these creatures aren't vampires - they're a new type of creature that I hadn't heard of yet. Which is great, 'cause we need some original ideas in a world of remakes and sequels. Unfortunately, though, since these are new creatures the filmmakers spend most of the movie explaining to us who they are, their history, their likes and dislikes, how they live, how they die, etc. This goes on . . . and on . . . and on. It constantly interrupts the movie. The filmmakers try to make these scenes of exposition visually interesting but it all comes across like a Powerpoint presentation.

Exposition aside, the story itself is pretty good but I would have liked to have had things explained in a more sophisticated way.

The comedy is there in spurts but it is too uneven throughout the film. The opening scene and the film's climax are the two funniest things in the film. Throughout the rest, though, it felt like a big inside joke that I wasn't in on. Some scenes fall completely flat, some resort to toilet humor, and some make no sense.

As far as actors go, Darrel Hammond is funny doing what is essentially his Bill Clinton routine from SNL. His opening scene is hilarious, but unfortunately he takes a backseat quickly. David Foley is completely wasted in a flat role. I couldn't believe that they bothered to cast one of the funniest men alive and have him do nothing interesting. Jason Mewes pops up for a pointless buddy role halfway through the film. Judd Nelson definitely steals the show as the movie progresses and is at his best in the film's climax.

My other gripe is that the chemistry between the lead actor and the main girl felt very forced. I didn't buy their relationship for some reason.

Overall, it provides a few laughs but feels like a missed opportunity. I would suggest it on DVD only to fans of independent cinema who can get over things like horrible lighting and camerwork. This is one of those movies that will probably get a cult audience but everyone else will hate.

I really found the story to this film interesting. You see a lot of vampire movies out there and the vampires are usually all the same or have a lot in common. This is a strange take on vampires. They have about 10% in common with vampires you usually hear about and it is a bit humorous that they all live in a business building that is one of the highest grossing businesses. You can also say they are a little like a vampire zombie mix. The cast is OK. Some better than others. You will see side characters like Robert Wagner or Jason Mewes. Darrell Hammond is one of the head vampires, but his acting was a little off. The 80s star Judd Nelson is in it and he was OK. I always liked him better in his teen days though. Dave Foley is hard to take seriously, but in this role, he kind of fit. The main role was Steve Burns and I think he did a great job. The one thing I enjoyed about this film was the dialog. It really had some catchy words that you can sit and love to listen to. Explanations of how the vampires came to be would be a good example. So overall, it was an enjoyable movie. The only really problems were some slow parts and part of the cast that really didn't seem into it.

Darrell Hammond is really, really good in this as a smooth talker, and much of it is KIND OF funny/quirky. It had a lot of potential, but this movie commits 3 cardinal sins.

1. They directly contradicted everything commonly known about vampires and they did it with impunity, in this smartassed matter-of-fact kind of way from a really annoying voice. It is possible to do this to an extent at the beginning to set the "rules" for the world. But continually sarcastically making fun of and contradicting the very fundamentals of vampire folklore is NOT ON. If common vampire rules are so "wrong" then maybe they should quit thinking of themselves as "vampires" to begin with, it's not what they call themselves.

2. What the hell is with this using Alexander Graham Bell? My perception of Bell will forever be tainted by this nonsense. Bell did not agree to his name and image being used like this, I think it's so unfair to do this to a deceased person. I rarely even like watching fictional depictions of real people like for instance Darwin, because I cannot trust the depiction of it, but this is just ridiculous.

3. They should have done all the narration and backstory at the start, not continually narrated throughout the whole thing and continually butchering your perception of vampires by pretending these were anything like vampires.