Primitivo

Based on a true story? No. It's an action B movie about an American TV crew hunting for a huge crocodile for a TV program. The plot is frankly exactly what I seek in a movie. I like these simple to-the-point stories with cool action, attractive women, cool guys, nasty bad guys, and a huge monster. It's simple and something I, as a dude, just enjoy watching even though it can get very stupid and silly. But unfortunately even I, who this movie is basically made for, really dislike the movie. The plot works, but the editing and camera work is horrible. Scenes are shown by short 1 second shots. Then we get 20 new shots, each lasting a second each with a new weird angle. Shot from the ground up or with the camera angled to the side. And it just rushes at you and never shows the full picture of the event. When they are packing the huge cage in the boat we only see part of the cage for a few seconds. We don't see the full scenery. It's so irritating. I was enjoying the story about the crocodile hunting people and the bad guys in Africa killing people who went against them. All that is really cool. It's just pathetically badly edited. It's an unwatchable mess. Even the shots of the crocodile only last seconds at most. The director never cares to stay in any one scene or shot so you don't get to see anything.

Of course the decisions taken in this movie are completely stupid too. At one point they are attacked by the crocodile that then kills a man. Instead of driving away or hiding they go to a hut that is built on top of the lake where the crocodile lives. Why are they trying to get themselves killed? That's never clear. The script writer just needed them there so now they are there. No real person would go to the most dangerous place you could find. Of course more people die. And even after it happens they still stay there.

There is also a scene with the cameraman standing maybe 2 meters from the shore. Instead of calmly walking out of the water he stays in the lake and looks for the crocodile alone until he spots it. Why is he trying to spot it after seeing it kill people? It's never explained. He just seems to not want to leave the lake. Of course the crocodile finds him and hunts him. Like, what are these people thinking?

There is also a scene where the female journalist instead of fleeing away in a car goes into the lake again to take a small dog with her. The dog is actually not in any danger as such at that moment, but you know the crocodile eats people so once she jumps into the lake she knows it's coming. This is after tons of people have died in front of her and she was nearly killed tens of times. This are the decisions made in this movie. They are really stupid, but I could have tolerated them at some level if I could actually see them. But the editing messed that all up.

Attempting to tread a fine line between two different types of film, Primeval is a misguided, but nonetheless kind of fun movie. On the one hand, it wants to be an 'issues' movie, dealing with warlords, child soldiers and western apathy towards violence in central Africa. On the other, it also wants to have a massive great big crocodile running around trying to eat the guy from Prison Break. It's not bad, but while these two separate strands never really gel there's still some entertainment to be had. Provided of course you can look past the incredibly tasteless joke about the slave trade.

The film concentrates on Dominic Purcell's news journalist who gets sent off to Burundi to document the search for 'Gustave,' a legendary croc who has chalked up over 300 human victims during his years prowling the river banks. He's accompanied by a British Steve Irwin a-like, Orlando Jones as the "please don't get him" cameraman, a slumming it Jurgen Prochnow, a token female and several dozen expendable locals and together, they trek into the bush to hunt Gustave down. They're also given a few warnings about 'Little Gustave,' a vicious renegade soldier whose private army are responsible for all manner of atrocities in the region. But hey it'll be okay right? They've got a machine gun strapped to the roof...

Needless to say, things go badly. There's all manner of carnage to be had as Gustave begins ripping people to shreds and trigger happy teenagers with AK-47s go on the warpath. By the time the credits roll, just as many people have been machine-gunned as eaten by Gustave and Purcell looks like he can't wait to get back to a nice, comfy cell in San Quentin where he only has to deal with corrupt guards and shankings every day.

Taken simply as an old-fashioned adventure movie it's not bad and there's certainly fun to be had when the limbs start to get torn loose. The attempts at dealing with the bigger picture though fall flat. It's apparently "inspired by true events," but aside from the fact there genuinely is a crocodile named Gustave in Burundi, that's about as far as the realism goes. Hotel Rwanda this ain't. However if you want a movie where a great big scaly beast eats people every ten minutes you can't go wrong. You'll have a hard time remembering any of the characters names when the time comes to type up the review though.

After a noted scientist is killed by what can only be described as some sort of beast an expedition is sent to track it down. Dealing with their own problems, conflicts, and the fact they are in country torn part by civil war.

The film starts as a typical monster flick with an intense death scene and a hint of political agenda. It then proceeds to be a typical creature feature with some decent gore and terror, but the political agenda brought up subtly in the beginning resurfaces and the film becomes mismatched. Fans of gore and horror will have fun with the gore and horror, but the political theme is sorely out of place. It is hard to say that it is irrelevant, because if it was well developed it could serve as a decent metaphor.

Godzilla, for one, is a monster metaphor - the bastard of the nuclear age. Here that is what the film tries to do with Gustave - the HUGE killer croc. It fails - whether it is noble failure or pathetic failure is ultimately up to you - but the failure to intertwine themes and idea throughout the movie results in this mismatching. Things just seems to appear out of nowhere, like a long sequence where the main beast literally disappears from the film. It was right there in the previous scene, but for a while it is gone. Then it is conveniently back for the conclusion. In a funny way this seems to be a monster horror flick from the Sci-Fi channel that has the seriousness of "Blood Diamond" here and there. That just doesn't work, folks. Metaphors and themes must be a pervasive presence to work. --- 4/10

Rated R: graphic violence/gore and profanity

When I realized about 10 minutes into the film that I had paid to see a crocodile movie and not one about a serial killer as advertised, I was mad as h*ll!. For the first time I was about to demand my money back. However, I gave the movie a chance. I did end up enjoying it, but not enough to forgive being duped into paying the price. It is a pretty fun movie, but it's the same thing we've seen before on Sci-Fi Channel for a fraction of the price. To the distributors credit, they knew what they were doing. No one wants to pay to see a run-of-the-mill crocodile movie when they can see an giant reptile, insect, or animal/human hybrid film on cable each weekend. I love "Lake Placid", but if I knew this movie was about a croc I would not have gone to see it. It was a fun film, so if you want to pay to see Sci-Fi fare, you'll enjoy it.

I admit it, I have a soft spot for monster movies. Maybe it's the kid in me who watched all the old "creature features" at a young age, or maybe it's the fact that no one has really made a serious monster movie since...well, you tell me. That being said, "Primeval" is no work of genius, and like most mainstream films, is loaded with clichéd moments that we've seen in better movies. However, when compared to the films that pass for horror today, this one has surprising bite (no pun intended) at certain moments. The main complaint here seems to be the misleading advertising campaign of the film, hyping it up as a tale of serial killer in rural Africa. Of course, the actual story details an American news team (the brooding male leader, the hot female sidekick, and of course, the token black guy who serves mostly as comic relief) traveling to the war-torn Burundi to film and hopefully capture Gustave, an enormous crocodile who has eaten hundreds of people. Naturally, things go wrong, and the river soon runs red. An interesting aspect of the movie is the inclusion of a warlord in the plot, adding a second threat to the protagonists (Gustave is, of course, their first threat). This risky move sometimes works and sometimes doesn't, but I applaud the filmmakers for trying something new at least. What really redeems the film however are a few key scenes that are surprisingly atmospheric (something most modern horror films have forgotten), well edited, and increasingly suspenseful. Without giving too much away, the croc itself is better than one may expect from this kind of a movie. The cast does what they can with a strictly average script, yet for the most part, manage to elicit some interest and sympathy. The final act is a bit of a disappointment, but by that point, it's already been a fun, exciting ride, and one doesn't really care. In short, "Primeval" is strictly what many of us go to the movies for: popcorn entertainment. I myself had originally gone to see "Pan's Labyrinth" but as the shows were sold out, my friends and I eventually decided to give "Primeval" a go. I wasn't dazzled, but then again, I wasn't expecting to be. It's simply fun, escapist entertainment, and despite what any film snob will tell you, there's nothing wrong with that. Just shut your brain off and you should have a good time.