Oz Osborne: Well this is a right puzzler, this one. I don't wanna go back home but I don't really wanna stop here in Germany, especially if I'm just gonna be working with Germans.
Albert Moxey: I thought you had a wife and a kid though, Oz.
Bomber Busbridge: Aye, that's why he doesn't wanna go back.
Oz Osborne: True, true. What about you Moxey, you'll stop here with us, won't you?
Albert Moxey: Well as much as I like yer, Oz, I can't say I relish the idea of paying tax, like. I mean, when you think about the squalid lifestyle we lead at the moment, it's gonna be even worse wi' less money.
Bomber Busbridge: Sounds like another boy Blighty-bound, to me.
Albert Moxey: No way, Bomb, there's even less chance of that happening.
Oz Osborne: How's that, like?
Albert Moxey: I've got a record, haven't I. I was in the nick for two years before I come out here.
Oz Osborne: Yeah?
Albert Moxey: This was supposed to be me fresh start in life.
Oz Osborne: Ahh, what did you get locked up for? Eh?
Albert Moxey: Arson.
Oz Osborne: Arson?
Albert Moxey: Yeah I know, I didn't wanna tell you blokes, you know.
Oz Osborne: Arson?
Albert Moxey: In case you got worried like, you know, about being in the same hut as me, like. Guess it don't matter now, though.
Oz Osborne: Arson, eh? And you don't even smoke.
Bomber Busbridge: Well how did that come about, Mox?
Albert Moxey: I was working on this building site, you know, back in Liverpool. Bastard site manager had it in for us like, kept docking me wages for no reason. And one day I just lost me rag. I set fire to his hut.
Oz Osborne: What, was he still in it?
Albert Moxey: Not for long, no. So there you go. A record for arson. Dodge City address.
Oz Osborne: Where?
Albert Moxey: Kirby. I reckon me chances on Merseyside are even worse than Everton's.
Bomber Busbridge: I see what you mean.
Oz Osborne: Well. Stop on Moxey, that's the only thing you can do, really.
Albert Moxey: Yeah I know, Oz but once they get me name down on their forms and their files, only be a matter of time before they find out about me past.
Oz Osborne: [to Dennis who just entered the room] Hey Dennis, you'll never guess what. Moxey's an arsonist.
Dennis Patterson: [to Barman] Schnapps. Just leave the bottle.
