Postal

Now we all know Uwe Boll's track record when it comes to movies, but even more so when it's applied to video games. However, in the case of Postal I have to say I was rather surprised because the movie possessed this subtle flair of the game. While watching it I felt it was trying its hardest to be as true to the game as it could. It has sick and pointlessly funny humor both political and sexual, and it has a ridiculous plot that feels like something right out of the game. Perhaps the one thing Boll does well in Postal is the bumbling collection of Muslim terrorists who are apathetic about the whole "Jihad" thing and they are quite funny to watch as they goof around. I guess what makes Postal the movie special is the collection of little silly Easter egg-esquire instances that will just make you chuckle. Like the Postal game, the movie deserves its due because it is a novelty among movies. Regardless, it's Boll's "best" work.

After being laid off from his factory job, getting snubbed at the welfare office, and witnessing his bedridden wife cheating on him with his next door neighbour, the once mild-mannered Postal Dude (Zack Ward) visits his Uncle Dave (Dave Foley) to take part in a plan which entails stealing and re-selling loads of items from the hot new toy craze of Krotchy dolls. Little do they know, that a small group of Taliban members is also planning the same heist at the same time.

Could it be? Uwe Boll finally pulls through with a great video game adaption? Well. . . no. But, he did finally manage to make a good and entertaining one! Say what you will about Boll and his complete lack of artistic talent (and I'll agree with it), but he does know how to stir up some controversy. Whether it's threatening Michael Bay, boxing critics, or making an extremely offensive and perverse new comedy, Uwe can cause problems. Now, obviously, as it's an Uwe Boll film, you're going to have to expect many of the negative elements that go with it: poor acting/writing/etc. However, as the film is so obviously meant to simply offend at any cost, it's not hard to overlook a lot of the flaws and just sit back and laugh at the stupidly ridiculous spectacle that is Postal. I mean, Uwe Boll actually stands onstage in his own film, playing himself, and says all of his movies are funded using Nazi gold and that children in the crowd arouse him. At least he's finally be honest, ya know? Anyway, if Tom Cruise, 9/11, cults, crap, trailers, racism, swearing, Dave Foley, police brutality, fat people, hicks, the handicapped, and over-the-top violence (often against children) sound like things worthy of a laugh, then you'll probably love this. If you're easily offended or reserve your giggles for a more sophisticated type of humour, then just keep on walking because this film is not for you.

Final verdict: 6/10.

-AP3-

Disclaimer: Let me start by saying that I was neither drunk nor high when I watched this movie. I watched it stone cold sober, alone, in my living room.

Amazingly I just gave an Uwe Boll film 8 stars, I know, I can't believe it myself. If I were twelve years old and still read MAD Magazine I'd probably have given it ten stars.

There are plenty of "zany" pop culture riffing movies out there, (Meet the Spartans, Super Hero Movie, Date Movie, etc.) but the difference here is Postal works. I laughed throughout the entire movie, with the exception of about seven jokes which didn't make sense or just didn't work. But it doesn't matter that these seven jokes failed because the movie is an endless stream of jokes, sight gags, bikini clad cult members, machine gun battles, and bad taste in the vein of John Waters/Troma Films earliest efforts.

It's too bad Uwe Boll got himself involved in a petty internet pi**ing contest over this film. I think had he just been modest, kept his mouth shut, and let the film speak for itself it may have been a minor success. The old Hollywood saying about there being "no such thing as bad publicity" doesn't work for you when all you get is BAD PUBLICITY.

That said, the only real problems with the film are the low budget production values and a few of the minor performances, but even those problems just add to the humor of this film.

The plot actually made sense.

The actors played it straight without being too zany too often.

And the jokes, although in bad taste and definitely not for everybody, were never so mean spirited that I was turned off by them.

I think Uwe Boll knew what he was doing with this picture. The satire and parodies worked well, and there were even a few jokes that made me want to cheer. I know, crazy huh?

I don't understand the bad reviews of this film. People complaining about how its not true to the games have obviously never played Postal 2. This movie is probably closest video game adaptation that I have seen. It is completely true to the theme of the game.

I watched this film at the premier and actually had a chat with Uwe Boll before the film started. He came out right before the film and made a 10-15 speech that consisted mostly of him tirading about how Bush is an idiot and even more about how he hate all the reviewers that give him bad reviews. I think he must have self esteem issues to come off like that against the reviewers.

Anyways, this movie is very funny, if you're into this sort of movie. Obviously if you hate Uwe Boll or are totally politically correct or are easily offended, then don't watch this movie. For people like me that like dead baby jokes and are pretty much desensitized to everything, this is a gold mine of comedy.

This is Uwe Boll's best film to date. That being said, it's still crap. Abundant plot holes, crudely forced shock tactics, a shallow attempt at satire, and the worst director in the entire world are just the tip of the iceberg on why this movie blows. I hate Boll's work. I hate his belligerence. He should not be allowed near a camera.

The ultimate question, however, is did I laugh? Yes. In spite of everything , I laughed. This movie is Uwe Boll's "F*^# you!" statement to the world. He's going to continue making movies whether we like it or not, and he's actually a lot better at crude humor than any sort of horror, adaptation or whatever random dung heap genre he sticks his nose into. He even makes fun of himself in this movie during a cameo between him and the actual creator of the postal franchise. For some weird reason, I respect that.

Zack Ward was fantastic, and really should be getting better work. This may be a rare time when an actors participation in a Boll film didn't herald their imminent career death. He proved himself to be an adequate action actor, and I'm hoping this gets him some publicity. The same cannot be said for Verne Troyer or Dave Foley, who are circling the drain. (I still laughed though.)

Is it worth the price of admission? Nope, but it's so much closer than any of Boll's films have ever been. Boll may be a deluded, stubborn and angry man,(at the Q&A he explained to us in a very serious tone, how postal was a gutsy, intelligent satire) and his work may be awful, but Boll genuinely loves films and wants to make them. He wants to get better and who knows? Maybe one day Boll will produce something worthwhile. Tasteless director John Waters invented Hairspray, which was thought to be impossible. Maybe Boll will one day harness his ambition towards film-making in a productive way. Or not. Who cares?

You shouldn't see postal if you have an option, but if you don't, you might giggle a few times, in spite of yourself. However, if you're a moron, you'll love it!

-Max

P.S: Boll has always clashed with wheelchair-bound "AintItCool" news leader, Harry Knowles. They don't get along at all. Why do I reference this? There is a mentally challenged character in the movie who begs for money from the seat of a motorized wheelchair. Can you guess his first name?