Spring Break Massacre

I'll try to be brief, and not give SPRING BREAK MASSACRE any more attention than it deserves.

SPRING BREAK MASSACRE could be described as an homage to SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE, in the sense that the distributors went to the trouble to imitate that film's video box art. Apparently they felt that was as much effort as homage required. This makes sense, once you realize that the filmmakers thought that the actual making of a horror film required no more effort than finding a roomful of inexperienced actresses willing to do nude scenes, then filming them running around screaming.

The tacked-on presence of 80s horror stars Reggie Bannister and Linnea Quigley in the film is obviously meant to be the big bone thrown to horror fans. Instead, seeing them in such an amateur production just inspires sadness.

Cynical productions such as this only exist to snatch up the money of unwary horror fans who think "Well, how bad can it be?" Trust me, the answer is "Way TOO bad." SPRING BREAK MASSACRE isn't even worth a couple of bucks just to check it out (trust me on this one; when I was young I too was a "show me" kind of fan). It isn't "so bad it's good". It's just a piece of crap to be forgotten.

If you're the kind of viewer who likes incredibly bad acting, home video cinematography, and lots of planted good IMDb reviews, then SPRING BREAK MASSACRE just may be the movie for you. If, on the other hand, you expect a film to fill a full 76 minutes (including blooper padding in the closing credits) without insulting your intelligence, then you may want to look elsewhere.

I'm going to be straight about this one. It is stated on the sleeve as a return to those "Eighties slashers" and also to the "slumber party's". First of all, slashers from the eighties do have gory shots and are really scary. Secondly, if you but names in it like Reggie Bannister or Linnea Quigley people do want the action they were given in those heydays of horror. But this one surely doesn't deliver. Oh yes, there's a lot of tits to be seen in all kinds from hanging to small to C cups but that surely doesn't make a horror, oh yes, it's gratuitous but there are some rules to follow. I've been grown up in the eighties and I have seen my amount of slashers and if girls go naked then they show it all. Here we only see tits whatever but if they show a shower scene with two chicks in it then I suspect they are naked but no can do here, they still were there knickers then it's a huge turn-off for those flesh flutes to play, if you know what I mean. Why Linnea has been cast is still a mystery for me, she's a few minutes on the screen, so it's for a teaser she's in it. The so-called slashing doesn't deliver too, it's okay but if you state "eighties" then I want to see the knife going in and some gore added. Oh no it isn't here. And to be honest, the storyline sucks and the acting is mediocre. Face it, in some scene's the titties do act better than the girls and let me don't mention the boys at the bar, what a terrible acting. Some people see it as a comedy, well tell me where to laugh. No no, it's not because you but some nudity in it and famous names from the eighties that you have a horror. Indeed, what a massacre it was.

Wow this is bad, well there are a couple of good scenes, with half naked chicks but that is about it :)

The film itself is a mess, I had hoped it would be an homage to the old scream queen movies or maybe just to the b-film genre, but this is just terrible and doesn't seem to hit any mark. It should have been an homage to something or it should just have had a better script, better acting, well just more then naked chicks as is the only thing it got going for it.

I can't recommend this at all sorry guys behind it, but you didn't try hard enough it seems, I will give it a couple of stars for some of the fun and the perky young women, but that is all I can do.

Spring Break Massacre (2008) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a group of sorority sisters who get together one night for a sleepover. It just so happens there's a serial killer on the loose that night and the the ladies are the perfect target.

This movie is directed by Michael Hoffman Jr. (Girls on Dead) and stars Reggie Bannister (Phantasm), Sarah Minnich (Army of the Dead), John Shumski (The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.) and Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead).

The storyline for this as well as it's characters and subplots are fairly cliche. The cinematography is fairly poor and as for the background sound effects, well, they tried. The acting and writing is bad and in a lot of way this feels home made. The female characters are well selected, fairly hot and there are some good nudity scenes, but not enough to make this worth watching.

Overall this movie is terrible, even for horror enthusiasts. I would score this a 2/10 and strongly recommend it.

Let me start off by saying if you're the type of person who only likes serious movies full of A-List stars, then this is probably not for you. But if you like fun, cheesy slasher films then I'm sure you'll enjoy this. 'Spring Break Massacre' is about a group of girls who are having an overnight party, and suddenly become the target of a madman. Sound familiar? Thats because 'Spring Break' is mostly a homage to the 80's slasher series 'Slumber Party Massacre'. The Queen of B Films, Linnea Quigley stars in this, and even though her part is kinda short, its always nice to see her. While its not as gory as it could've been, there's still a decent amount of blood, and a high body count, so gore hounds shouldn't be too disappointed. The bottom line is if you enjoy trashy, brainless slasher flicks, then I suggest you give 'Spring Break Massacre' a shot.