The Witches of Breastwick

It is unbelievable how many genre mistakes sneak up to IMDb. It says horror for this crap. From a title, it was obvious to me that it is an erotic movie, but I was curious how they managed to combine erotic and horror into one movie. The answer is - they did not! This is plain soft porn and kind that will disappoint both fans of horror and fans of porn. Complete failure.

3/10

You've got to be a die-hard fan to embrace this one. Though the film has many exciting scenes, and an interesting idea, it goes on too long and only comes to life near the climax. There are many reasons why this film doesn't work, but the most obvious one is simple: it's played way too straight and serious for its own good. The movie's opening scene is its best. Overall, the film was, I would say, "eh". I will never understand the hate for this movie. I found it to be sensational. Like other great dramadies, it is filled with charm, innocence and drama and romance. It's not quite worth 8 out of 10, so I give it a solid 7 out of 10 and urge you to check it out if you can find it.

Right, well I was lead to believe that this 2005 movie "The Witches of Breastwick" from writer and director Jim Wynorski was a comedy spoof, though I have to admit that the movie's title was setting off an alarm. Yet, I opted to give the movie the benefit of the doubt. And with it being listed as a romantic fantasy here on IMDb, I figured that it might not be all that bad.

Boy was I wrong. "The Witches of Breastwick" is a softcore porn movie, through and through. And I turned off the movie not even 8 minutes into the ordeal. But by then there had been enough imitated sex scenes to indicate what kind of movie this was. And I just have no interest in watching that, life is too short for these kind of movies.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, or performers might be a more adequate term to use here.

And I have zero interest in attempting to watch the remaining 70 minutes of the movie. I just have no interest in it whatsoever.

My rating of writer and director Jim Wynorski's 2005 movie "The Witches of Breastwick" lands on a one out of ten stars. A fun pun on the "Witches of Eastwick" movie, for sure, but the contents of this dumpster fire of a movie ain't worth the time of day.

First off it is very apparent to anyone with a proper brain simply by looking at the poster and seeing the cast of actors/ actresses, director what type of film this was intended.

Also the title is a clever and painfully obvious pun which couldn't be more clear that this film is clearly a softcore film.

Lots of large busty beautiful silky women showing skin or in skimpy outfits with over exaggerated soft core sex scenes with hyper extended music playing through such scenes.

The witchcraft aspect comes in immediately and we know who the bad witches are from the good ones.

I love the texture of the film. It's very vibrant and fun. The colors make everything stand out. The dialogue is very sharp and convincing.

Just to be brief if you just look at the prior review before mine's, you will get the picture. This "critic" blatantly states in his review that he only watched 8 minutes of this film before turning it off.

And apparently that is enough for him to warrant writing a review. There simply isn't anyone I despise more than him (whom will not be named) simply because he half a***s his reviews and watches films knowing he won't be interesting. I mean what's the point?

After watching this movie, I immediately ordered it off of Amazon. So I am personally looking forward to that. Now on to the sequel. Please allow this review!

Jim Wynorski delivers another sexy comedy/horror.much like the earlier sorceress with the the tall Amazonian babe;Julie strain.anyway even though there's no plot to get in the way of the movie,its enjoyable sexy fun . a man(Matt dalpiaz) and his sexy red head wife(Monique parent)meet three sexy witches(Glori Anne gilbert,Julie k smith,and stormy Daniels) then there's come cameos by wynorski regulars jay Richardson and Antonia Dorian.about 10 years back i had the pleasure of meeting starlet; Glori Anne gilbert at a comic convention in Orlando Florida.shes very nice and down to earth.and treats her fans like friends.Glori Anne gilbert is a very beautiful sexy starlet,catch her in the 2003 film; curse of the komodo.the truth is i enjoy b-movies more then mainstream movies.i guess my tastes are very much like critic Joe bob Briggs. kudos to mr wynorski,keep making em ill keep watching em.6 out of 10.