Unearthed

In 2004, director Matthew Leutwyler's first feature 'Dead & Breakfast' received praise for some circles; none of which included me. Unfortunately three years on and while at least he's moved away from rubbish zombie films; he has unfortunately gone on to rubbish sci-fi/horror films, and this desert-set rendition of Alien is just that. It's a shame that this film is so terrible because the plot actually sounds like it could turn into something quite decent. The film takes place in New Mexico and focuses on a small town. A bunch of cows have been found dead and naturally the local farmers believe that a wolf is to blame. The farmers send for a Sheriff to deal with that, and a big truck accident that's blocking the road...but things take a turn for the unexpected when the Sheriff discovers that there's been an archaeological dig in the area, and that an Indian has accidentally released a giant CGI alien creature into the town. Then a bunch of people end up getting stuck and the alien picks them all off one by one.

OK, so let's break it down. Acting - terrible, special effects - terrible, plot - clichéd, death scenes - routine...so it really doesn't have all that much going for it. Emmanuelle Vaugier is the lead actress and she's very good looking, but doesn't have enough about her to carry the film. Luke Goss, one half of the awful eighties pop group 'Bros' also appears in the film (luckily, the other half isn't in it, and even luckier is the fact that he doesn't sing). The plot is turgid and uninteresting and basically gives us a little bit of info, followed by a death scene, followed by a bit more info. The central creature doesn't appear all that often - and that's really a good thing because it when it does appear, it's just disappointing CGI nonsense. The action sequences are no good either, mainly because director Matthew Leutwyler has opted for the MTv style quick cuts that never fail to ruin a movie (even, it would appear, one that is already ruined). Overall, this is a dreary and boring horror film that definitely isn't recommended.

1. Some people can't watch "shaky camera" scenes. It makes us sick. In this case there was no reason for it. If you want people to not be able to watch your movie, why even make it? Shaking the camera is not a substitute for special effects

2. Painfully loud is not scary. It's not dramatic. When the conversation scenes and the action scenes differ by 100 decibels, it's just painful and unpleasant.

When I have to spend the entire movie making drastic changes to the volume, I'm not being entertained.

I went into this film despite the bad press it was getting because I liked Deada nd Breakfast and I like Emmanuel Vaugier and I'm a big fan of horror flicks and horror fest in general. But this film felt so amateur poorly written, filmed, acted, constructed. The film is confusing and pretty plot less and features some of the worst CGI I've ever seen it looks like the cgi beasties of the castlevania Nintendo game. I usually am open to pretty much everything. But you have to drawn the line somewhere and this film if you can call it that is far past it.Do yourself a favor and miss this so the once promising director could try and make up for this attrocity.

I'm the first to be critical of these types of -monsters on the loose in isolated community films-, but if you can get past the stunningly bad cgi monster there's a reasonable amount to like here. There's nothing original but name me one that is original in the last 20yrs, there aren't any. The stories are the same it's how they're handled that varies.

The story:- Out in the dry wastelands of America an archaeological dig unearths and sets loose an ancient monster not seen for 900yrs. Several outsiders stop for gas which has run out due to the tanker being attacked by said monster en route to gas station. They mix with and are stranded with several locals, all of whom become stranded and spend the night fighting for survival.

On the whole the acting is good but unusually Goss seems to struggle with his dialogue as if his heart's not in it. However I blame that on the director and the script rather than Goss. There's very little in the way of excess, unnecessary or cheesy dialogue, which is always a big plus in my eyes. There is also a totally unnecessary flashback thread running through the film. The camera work is a bit shaky and often too dark which does at times detract from the fun. The musical score is fine. The body count is low because there are few characters but the deaths are nice and gruesome. There's a great Eddie Murphy wannabe who gets wot he deserves (and provides the only laugh).

There are two big problems with this film as far as I can see.

1. The monster effects are on a par with the original Jason and the Argonauts from way back when - seriously they're that bad. The actual design of the monster is rubbish as well, it copies too much from alien and it's head is laughable with eyes and teeth all over the place. If you can imagine an alien working at a circus as a clown you'll get some idea.

2. There's a local biologist who keeps telling everyone she knows nothing but keeps coming up with the answers via massive jumps in her conclusions and it just gets stupid when she finds a Geiger counter lying around and then proclaims 'I've got a uranium extractor back at the house.'

If you can ignore these things, and accept that this was done on a tight budget, this is an okay movie.

I watched this back to back with 'Living Hell' and what confuses the hell out of me is that that piece of total garbage got the thumps up from the IMDb reviewers and an average score of 4.7 while this gets a total roasting from the reviewers and an average of 4.8. I feel 4.8 is fair for this film (coz i'm critical) but only if living hell received 0.0 otherwise this deserves more.

This movie was playing at the Union Station cinema in Washington, at 7:30 on a Saturday night. The place should have been completely packed, but it was nearly empty. We soon learned why.

Unearthed has a generic, by-the-numbers plot crammed full of the same old tired horror-movie clichés. It had no direction to speak of. The camera work was amateurish at best, and the dialog nearly incoherent. The camera was pointing all over the place, providing an occasional glimpse of something like a face, a vehicle, or a building. Most scenes were too dark and cluttered to make out anything clearly.

Don't even imagine that this stuff belongs in the "so-bad-it's-good" category. Those movies at least have some originality, humor (even if it's unintentional), and other qualities that make them stand out. They are the kind of movies that people remember, whether they want to or not. Unearthed has nothing worth remembering. I can barely recall even one single scene; the only thing I can remember clearly is waiting for it to be over. It seemed to drag on for several hours or more.

Very soon, this thing will be dead, buried, and totally forgotten. May it rest in peace--FOREVER.