Ulli Lommel's Zodiac Killer

This movie is bad. I don't just mean 'bad' as in; "Oh the script was bad", or; "The acting in that scene was bad".....I mean bad as in someone should be held criminally accountable for foisting this unmitigated pile of steaming crud onto an unsuspecting public. I won't even dignify it with an explanation of the (Plot??) if I can refer to it as that.I can think of only one other occasion in some 40-odd years of movie watching that I have found need to vent my spleen on a movie. I mean, after all, no one goes out to intentionally make a bad movie, do they? Well, yes. Apparently they do...and the guilty man is writer/director Ulli Lommel. But the worst of it is that Blockbusters is actually renting this to their customers! Be advised. Leave this crap where it belongs. Stuck on the shelf, gathering dust.

1 is being pretty generous here. I really enjoyed BOOGEYMAN, even though it is not really the BOOGEYMAN promoted on the DVD cover and we all know it! It creeped me out. But this film, it is something else. For being directed by a guy who has been around a long time and directed a lot of movies, it looks like it was shot on a VHS camcorder by a 10 year old! The story and acting are atrocious! David Hess, you have let me down too. After playing one of the most menacing villains in film history, you have resorted to this? The story and acting may have been able to be forgiven however, if anyone had taken the time to make the video look somewhat professional. There are a LOT of shot on video films out there that don't look like it, or at least aren't so obvious that it detracts your attention from the film. I can't say it is the worst movie ever, because I couldn't make it through the entire film, but it is certainly close.

Zodiac Killer. 1 out of 10. Worst acting ever. No really worst acting ever. David Hess (Last House on the Left…. No the one from the seventies…. Rent it it's really good) is the worst of the bunch (Pretty stiff competition but he is amazingly god-awful.) One would be hard pressed to find a home movie participant with such an awkward camera presence. The film actually screeches to a stunning painful halt when he is on the screen.

Not that the film actually has any redeeming qualities for Mr. Hess to ruin. It is filmed with a home movie camera and by the looks of things a pretty old one complete with attached boom mike. No post production either. Come on there has to be some shovelware a five year old computer could use that could clean up this picture. Throw in bizarre stock footage pictures of autopsy's and aircraft carrier takeoffs and this is one visually screwed up picture. The autopsy pictures are interjected the way Italian cannibal films interject those god-awful real life animal killings. And the Navy footage is supposed to be some anti war statement (Cause we know all the bloodthirsty maniacs join the Navy) What in the world is Lion's Gate is doing releasing this garbage? It would embarrass Troma. The plot is about the Zodiac Killer (Last seen in Dirty Harry …. No the one from the seventies…. Rent it it's really good) Somebody gets shot in the stomach in LA and the cops assume the Zodiac Killer is back? Uh-huh. What can you expect from a movie that doesn't know that DSM IV is a book not a psychiatric disorder and where the young killer older man relationship resembles that of a congressional page and closeted congressman? Yeah eighties haircuts and production values meet a Nambla subplot. Sign me up.

I'm not sure if this is the most incompetent horror movie ever made or a satire of unparalleled genius. As a long time fan of Ulli Lommel and his unique brand of film-making, I guess I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I would watch Zodiac Killer again in order to make a more informed decision but I'm afraid I might burst a lung by laughing too strenuously. Regardless of whether the film is intentionally comedic or not, the fact remains that Zodiac Killer has to be seen to be believed. I guess that is reason enough to hire it.

Zodiac Killer begins inauspiciously. Michael, a pretty typical psycho, works in a home for the elderly and overhears a man plotting to kill his grandmother. Michael takes it upon himself to be an avenging angel for the aged and blows the man away. It is only when reporters compare the shooting to the infamous and unsolved "Zodiac" murders that Michael decides to be become a Zodiac copycat and impersonate the Zodiac killer. Up until this point, I had assumed that this was going to be a typical zero budget slasher film but Ulli Lommel is nothing if not innovative. Instead, the film becomes something of a cinematic collage of flashbacks, stock footage, still photographs, interviews and recycled clips from old Ulli Lommel films.

In addition to the disconcerting and unusual story telling techniques, the film also clearly switches tone. I refuse to believe that the clips of war footage, interspersed between Michael's ranting about how serial killers are pursued by the authorities while soldiers are allowed to kill with impunity, could be anything other than satirical. The same goes for the hilarious e-mails Michael exchanges with Zodiac expert, Simon Vale. Michael begins his correspondence by describing his mental illness and asks for further details about the murders. This doesn't appear to bother Simon at all and before too long he is leaving long winded messages on Michael's mobile phone. The inane happenings continue with a series of mind boggling TV interviews, which I somewhat optimistically believe to be a parody of the cult of celebrity that surrounds many serial killers. I also hope that the actual murders are a send up of the unbelievable scenarios that pollute most horror films. For example, Michael breaks into a house wearing a gas mask and opens a cannister of nerve gas - while literally standing less than three metres away from two women, who rather amazingly fail to notice his presence. The scene where Michael hides behind a victim's couch and observes the man watching TV is as illogical as it is hilarious. The entire scenario with the pizza delivery girl is one of the funniest things I have seen. I really, really hope the humour was intentional.

The gore is generally quite poorly done, with the exception of the crime scene photographs which are genuinely disturbing. This is most likely due to the fact that they look remarkably similar to the actual images which appear in publications like "Bizarre" magazine. The acting is pretty appalling. Vladimir Maksic who plays Michael, is either the finest comedic actor of his generation or utterly abysmal. The film livens up every time that horror legend David Hess makes an appearance, even though his performance is so over the top that it verges on slapstick. The acting highlight is Ulli himself, who delivers an intriguing performance as Simon Vale. Ulli's direction is resourceful - to say the least. His mixed media approach works occasionally but just as often feels like unnecessary padding. However, Ulli has an undeniable style and I would be interested to see what he could do with a bigger budget. Maybe Ulli could give his classic "Boogeyman" the sequel it deserves.

Your enjoyment of this film will depend on whether you think Zodiac Killer is a clever send up of horror films and a satirical look at the media circus surrounding serial killers, or simply a phenomenally incompetent piece of garbage. Wherever the truth lies, I found the film strangely mesmerising. I wanted to hate it but I was too interested in discovering which depth the film would plummet to next. Love it or hate it, Ulli Lommel's film is undeniably different.

Awful, awful, awful.

A condescending remark at the start and a few nasty autopsy photos does not a good movie make. Once again I'm amazed at the determination and skill that some people have in achieving a movie production and yet they don't have the pride to realise that what they have made is an utter pile of crap.

I sat and tried to think of a redeeming feature so that I could at least balance my criticism but the only one I could think of was that the opening track by Pink was pretty good....I wonder if she has seen this?

Watch this at your peril, the boredom may kill you.