- Adelaide Bourbon: [to Liam] To Shanghai? Who moves to Shanghai? No one does that, no one moves to Shanghai!
- Joe Silverman: Listen to yourself, man! You're moving to Shanghai for a girl! A *Chinese* girl for Godsakes!
- Liam Liu: This is not just about the girl.
- Joe Silverman: Then what is it?
- Liam Liu: It just -- it *feels* right! I'm Chinese. I gotta go back to my roots.
- Joe Silverman: [scoffs] All right, slow down, Kunta Kinte. You don't even speak Chinese. What the hell are you gonna do? What, drive a rickshaw?
- Liam Liu: I can learn Chinese.
- Joe Silverman: Learn Chinese?! Liam, you barely speak English!
- Liam Liu: Don't call me Liam. Liam's my slave name.
- Joe Silverman: Cute.
- Liam Liu: Every time I go out on something, Joe, it's always for some Kung Fu Deli Store Computer Chinese...
- Joe Silverman: You're a Chinese guy, you're gonna go for roles for little Chinese guys.
- Liam Liu: That is bullshit, I was born in New York, how about a role for somebody in New York?
- Joe Silverman: Nobody asked you to quit college and try your hands in the lucrative world of motion picture and television.
- Liam Liu: What am I gonna do with a degree, I'm gonna spend 8 hours a day, trapped in a little cubicle, making one of those desktop zen guards.
- Casting Director: So... you know Kung Fu?
- Liam Liu: [Caught off guard] Er...
- Casting Director: What Color belt are you?
- Liam Liu: Er... I... I... I don't have a belt. Oh... you know what I love? I love suspenders.
- Casting Director: You don't know martial arts?
- Liam Liu: No...
- Casting Director: It says on your resume that you know martial arts.
- Liam Liu: Is... is there martial arts in this commercial? I thought it was for toothpaste?