A.I. Assault

Shockwave looked like a real dog and it was except for the cameos by all the different scifi and horror flick cast. A member from every Star Trek franchise was there, Billy Mummy from Lost in Space, and a host of others. The endless supply of bullets with no clip changes. I have to say that I believe the acting was good, but the script and direction seemed off. The story is old and tired. An experiment gone wrong that creates a being that tries to take over the world, or at least got off a deserted island. The editing didn't help much and made the film seem labored. The final battle in the rain and the stars stayed dry the whole time. A B- movie due to all the technical flaws. If you like plain old action and don't mind the continuity breaks, this is for you.

Wow, you ARE a picky bunch, aren't you? Look, this is a SciFi (now SyFy) channel movie. We all know what we're in for before the movie even starts. You can't compare it to the 100-200 million dollar theatrical releases. SyFy cranks these babies out on the cheap, and you get what you'd expect; SFX that can be done on home PC's, B and C grade actors, and older actors that are now out of fame and just looking for something to do.

In this case they did a cool thing and brought in Star Trek alum from three versions of the franchise; Takei, from TOS, Dorn, from NG, and Picardo, from Voyager. SyFy offers these guys maybe $25,000 for a couple days work on what are, essentially, extended cameos. They sit around between shots, sipping martini's and reminiscing over the old times. They give half-baked performances, get one or two minutes of screen time each, cash their checks and go home. Hell, I'd do it. For their part, SyFy gets to use their names for promoting the film.

As SyFy channel movies go, this one was OK. Fact is, I thought the SFX were better than in many of these little time-wasters. They go cheap and don't worry about details, like captain's bars on their collar and sergeant's stripes on their sleeve (this from one of the movies I saw a couple years ago). My favorite from this one is that all the Special Forces guys are carrying M16A2's, except one guy, who's using a 50 year old M16A1. Not a chance this would happen in real life, but to be honest, I think they do a lot of that stuff on purpose, to give guys like me the fun of spotting those errors.

It's just campy fun, like Snakes On A Plane, and if you watch until the first commercial break you'll know the entire plot, and after that you can go to the bathroom, grab another beer, or answer the phone and have no fear that you'll miss a vital plot point.

So lighten up, people. This fluff won't kill you, and let's face it, the other 80 channels are all filled with stuff like Real Housewives of Barstow, Law & Order reruns from the 1990's, and Tory Spelling movies (Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?).

I'd say this was an average SyFy channel effort.

I've never reviewed a movie before without watching the whole thing. This is a special case. I began watching the movie. 3 minute later, crappiness reached critical mass. People screaming at badly animated CGI robots. Pistols with endless clips that magically fire without recoil (In fact, upon looking closer, I realized that the pistols are more magical than I realized at first. They somehow fire without the hammer even moving!) Right about the time the guy in camouflage parked his truck underneath the robot and waited for it to laser him is where I quit watching and started doing my math homework. Did they even try with this movie? Jeez. I feel insulted. Thank God I only wasted $2 renting it. Easiest review I've ever made.

CCCCCCRRRRAAAAAPPPPP! I've seen better homemade movies on YouTube.

Yeah, it's a good question - and a rhetorical one too. Judging by the sub-SyFy Channel standard of A.I. ASSAULT, aka SHOCKWAVE, the answer's a definite "no", because this is Z-grade CGI trash through and through. The problem with A.I. ASSAULT is that it's saddled with an absolutely awful, lunk-headed script which starts nowhere and goes nowhere. The characters are cardboard cut-outs, the performances would stink in a porn film, and the direction is sub-par. In fact, the only thing good about the whole movie is a pair of alien robots which dominate the storyline.

These creations are shamelessly lifted from Wells' original WAR OF THE WORLD, giant Tripod-things that go around butchering soldiers in various mildly gory (but inevitably cheesy) ways. They show promise, but the premise soon boils down to various characters wandering around an island somewhere, endlessly fighting them off and getting bumped off one by one. It's all very humdrum and by rote; the robots could be exchange for any movie monster in existence and it would all boil down to the same thing.

The film's main selling point is the presence of a number of ex-STAR TREK actors who inevitably show up for brief cameos before disappearing again. An indelibly aged George Takei is here, along with Robert Picardo and Michael Dorn. B-movie favourite Tim Thomerson also appears as a stuffy army official. Sadly, none of these actors even come close to making A.I. ASSAULT anything approaching a decent movie.

Another made-for-Tele movie which is completely horrible. There is barely any plot, the acting, writing, and of course the god-awful directing of today's worst director and Ed Wood impersonator, Jim Wynorski, who, when not making terrible plot less porn movies with hideous women, is making crappy straight to video or Sci-fi "original" movies. Basically this is a bad rip-off of War of the worlds, and to top it all off, it's another failed attempt of a Sci-fi original movie. If Sci-fi continually pulls bad ideas out of their ass with overtones of someone Else's' films, then the horror business if being dug to an early grave. Which is sad because I am a horror filmmaker myself of what one may call 'b-flicks' but when I see these computer-generated bloody bull-crap, it makes me want to throw up. If this movie comes on the Tele again, kill yourself, it will make you hate your remaining life.