Beer League

I suppose Artie Lange can be funny at times. It took me a long time to accept him on Howard's show. I wasn't a big fan of Jackie, and it seemed to me that hiring Artie was a step down even then. I thought he had the most annoying laugh, and he was crude and sloppy. I kinda sorta warmed up to Artie after a bit, he said some funny things on the show now and again. I even lol'd when he told his "Bowel Movement" story during the last few weeks of Howard's terrestrial radio tenure. However, I definitely wouldn't consider myself a huge fan.

Now, after seeing this movie, my opinion of Artie has just dropped about 100 levels. This movie is so bad. There were numerous scenes that made me cringe, especially anything that pertained to sex and bodily functions. Oh wait! That would be the entire movie! The plot of this movie is nothing new. How many times can you make the same movie? The "underdog losers" cannot stand the humiliation...decide it's time to win win win!!!! (blahblahblahblah) The dialogue is crude, foul and obnoxious. I can only think of one or two lines that actually made me laugh audibly. Otherwise it was a ridiculous insult to my intelligence. My eyeballs hurt like hell afterward from rolling them so many times.

I love stupid humor. Most of my favorite movies are stupid movies. Having said that, I don't think this movie can even come close to the level of 'stupidy' I have ever witnessed in any any other movie in my entire life. 'Mentally challenged', perhaps!?!?! Thank goodness I got to see it for free! I would have hated myself if I'd actually donated my hard earned money to Artie's coke & Jack habits to watch that garbage.

Oh and by the way, the more popular Italian foods aren't pronounced "gobigole", "galamade", and "mooootzarelle". Say any of those "words" to a real Italian and you'd get slapped like a biatch.

I recommend that you see this movie if you're a bloated, unintelligent, couch-potato, beer-swilling, mid-life crisis case.

If I were to say the movie was just OK than you would probably tell me that this is boring review and I don't blame you. But I have to say, seriously though, it was just OK. Not going to be on Roeper's 2006 picks, but good enough for a Sunday afternoon on Showtime. If you go see it, I would recommend this to put you in the right spirit; alcohol and a packed theatre. The movie is funny but not clever. You definitely need a little something to wash it down with. There's a lot of bad herpes jokes, guys calling each other fags, and a painfully bad callback involving a guy vomiting. The jokes are abundant though and for every miss there's a solid hit or two.

My major complaint with the movie is the sense that it was missing something or parts where I felt there was missed opportunity. Every scene seemed to play like the next and I think it would have been cool to see something that was set apart and memorable. For example a fantasy/dream/passout sequence with Artie in a major league game with bikini chicks handing him beers at the plate and one of the Yankee's pitching to him, but it's a softball. I don't know, something like that. If not that, they could of had a really good crazy prank scene somewhere in the half way through to take you away from the main plot for 5 minutes. Along the lines of the horse in the deans office in Animal House, or the police car in American Graffiti. Just something to contrast with Italians tossing around softballs and drinking in a bar.

As for Artie, he was great for the role of "Artie" and after 20 minutes you easy got lost in the character, forgetting the Stern show aspect. Forgetting of course they named the character Artie, gave him a girlfriend who he can't commit to, had him drink too much, smoke too much, and have issues with his father's death. Nice Stretch. Why not give him a Sirius t-shirt?

Artie is a terrible actor but this is definitely his best acting ever. Probably because it's basically just a documentary. It's what his life would be if he hadn't gotten into show business. There's some great editing mistakes in the diner scene. A french fry appears on the window sill then disappears and reappears. The the girl throws them. Good stuff.

I'm a huge Howard Stern fan, and I've been excited to see this movie since I first heard Artie talking about it on the Stern show. I was not expecting much out of this movie - just a stupid movie with some good laughs. But this film fell far short of my already very low expectations. There were plot lines within plot lines within plot lines - each one slowing down any kind of flow the movie tried to catch. When the softball part started to get somewhat interesting, the love story would bog it down. Artie tried to do a John Candy and be the farcical yet believable character - but he just did a bunch of Artie-shtick. He really was not able to carry this movie. It was kind of a fun movie, but even the fun scenes such as the bachelor party felt like a drag - clumsily staged and just awkward. Ralph Maccio rocked. Hopefully he will get in more movies from doing this one. The enemy antagonist was good at his role, but it was just too unbelievable. This guy has the best softball team, owns the best gym, AND is running for mayor? All of these different plot lines began to give me a headache and made me look at my watch waiting for the end. There are some good laughs, but we get mostly one liners here. In fairness, I should add that my friend who saw it with me has never listened to the Stern show and liked the movie a lot better than I did. This is a good TV movie or Netflix movie, but I wouldn't recommend seeing it in the theaters.

I'm a Howard Stern fan and became an Artie fan when he replaced Jackie (F Jackie!). I went to this movie with the sole purpose of supporting Artie. The "T&A comedies about drunk party guys" genre is not usually what i PAY to see, but hey, it's either that or pay $13 a month to listen to Artie go crazy from utter failure... (come to think of it, that would have been classic radio!). I was very surprised at this movie! Sure there is the stuff you would expect to see, but I was shocked that some of it was touching. I cared about "Artie" and wanted things to work out with him and his girlfriend! The critics need to lighten up a bit, it never claimed to be Citizen Kane! I think it's far better than most movies of this type, and with the right word of mouth and a wider release(which it's getting thanks to good weekend box office numbers) it could find a place with such classics like Animal House and Caddyshack! I rooted for the good guys and hated the bad guy, and isn't that what going to the movies has been about for a hundred years? Now when is Beer League 2 coming....?