Absolute Zero

I feel dumber for having watched this. The acting is awful. The plot is ridiculous. The storyline is completely nonsensical. Even if you rent this to get a glimpse of Erika Eleniak you will be disappointed. Yes she is in there, but the term 'aging playmate' is painfully accurate. Effects: laughable. Character development: a joke. I can not say enough bad things about this movie. Maybe it was intended as a joke on 'The Day After Tomorrow'. If so, its not very funny. Jeff Fahey's mom turned it off half way through. Ugh. Gack. Bad. Horrible. I want my hour and a half back. It is a struggle to come up with 10 lines about this movie without resorting to repeating the words 'sucks' over and over again. The science is bad. The acting is bad. The filming is bad. The concept is bad. This is a bad movie.

This film is something which should never have been made. The acclaimed science in the film has no base whatsoever in fact. Absolute zero is impossible to obtain, the closest anyone has every got it 0.00001 of a Kelvin, which is close but not it. Also this isn't obtained by just shifting the magnetic poles as the magnetic force is too weak to cause this sort of affect. The position of the ice sheets is not caused by the magnetic poles but more the relation to the sun. If absolute zero was reached the atmosphere would freeze well before that point was reached so the people in the film would suffocate if they some how managed to survive. There is also a claim that science is never wrong (which is totally contradicted in the movie itself) as well as science isn't right all the time, it is just the best guess given the information available. Finally there is a scene towards the end of the movie where the building seems to be pressurized and the main character claims this is because the outside air is so cold it creates a drop in pressure which is the same in aircraft, yet another this that is totally incorrect with no fact behind it. So in total this is a movie which should be burnt and the writer should be out of a job for lack of research of common sense.

One would think the timely subject of global warming and climate change would offer plenty of good fodder for a competent writer but this movie wastes an embarrassment of riches. All the worst adjectives apply here: tired, hackneyed, predictable, boring, etc. I've sat through some remarkably bad movies but I was actually angry with myself for wasting 96 minutes with this one. It starts poorly and the basement level production quality gives the first hint of what's to come. Even if you can get past the abysmal script and cardboard cut-out acting (can't blame the third rate thespians here, they had absolutely zero to work with), there's such bad science being presented that you can't even relate to the events that unfold. The plot takes place in Miami Florida but was filmed in Canada which means stock footage of the Miami skyline and Florida seashore with bad porn incidental music is cut in with actors walking around the port authority of Toronto, a marina in Quebec or some such place. "I see boat masts…it's gotta be South Beach!" The film's laziness with geography is second only to its ignorance of basic science and the direction of the flow of the Gulf Stream. For once the title of the film advertises exactly how entertaining it is. I'll never admit to seeing this one.

So the graphics and sets are poorly created, the acting is mediocre, the plot is predictable, and the science is childishly inaccurate... but it certainly doesn't deserve a 3/10. If you expect to see cheesy made-for-TV quality, you won't be disappointed, because that was the intent of this movie. Certainly no blockbuster but it's good in it's own way.

Essentially, a rogue scientist determines that the magnetic poles are going to shift, resulting in the rapid deep freeze of the equator. Of course, nobody believes him until it's too late. Throw in some romantic tension, angry standoffs, an evil businessman, hero kid, a few death scenes, and a semi-happy ending... bam! A cliché sci-fi movie that can be enjoyed by anyone who can appreciate it for what it is.

I would have to agree with most of the opinions not to buy or rent the movie, but if you happen to see it on TV, or flip through and find it on netflix while bored, give it a try. Keep your expectations low, like Battlefield Earth low, and you may actually enjoy it.

I like disaster films. It's comforting and entertaining to watch the world suffer imaginary cataclysmic events from the safety of one's couch. On the screen, everything goes kapow. Yet, the bowl of parmesan popcorn is within easy reach of my greedy paw and a cold beer froths in a mug. I sat through this film bored and annoyed, however. This is the kind of movie that begs the question: why make bad movies? Why go through the expense and the trouble when, given the effort, the results are so unaccountably awful? What is it exactly that propels unscrupulous producers, untalented directors, and third-rate actors to collaborate on cinematic ventures that never should have seen the light of day? Who makes the decisions to bring such aberrations to life and who stands the most to gain from them? Adam Sliwinski and Michael D. Jacobs, director and producer respectively, and the many actors of limited craft who participated in this film, all of you should be embarrassed to have this dreck floating about.