The House of Usher

The 2006 House Of Usher film (as opposed to the countless other versions, most recently in 2008) is dull as all hell.

Plainly put. Not much else to say. It's far too bland to even bother typing a review. It's a shoddy little piece. Relatively faithful to the original story, but a bland and tiresome film regardless.

Move on. Buy something interesting. Like, I dunno, Blood Monkey- which I might review some time in the next few weeks.

Since an IMDb review requires 10 or more lines, I suppose I really must elaborate: The film is tosh. It's trash. It's garbage. It takes the dry classical texts of Poe and vacuum seals them, taking out what little life remained from the distinctly dated original works. It borrows only the most obvious aspects of the story, ignores subtlety, and pisses on the livelier bits of the original story. I'm hard pressed to care about it, and even more pressed to write a review for a film so utterly pointless.

Curse it. Curse it back to the burned out pit it most inevitably came from.

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Poor attempt at the Edgar Allen Poe tale. . I was not invested as an audience member in the film. I actually walked out. I have better things to do with my time. The acting is wooden, the direction and editing are quite poor as well. Cinematography was so so, if not that motivated, predictable. Most everything about the film was predictable. Too bad, could have been a great little thriller. Shot digitally and projected that way, which made it look even worse. the production design wasn't that bad. It didn't get in the way nor stick its head out, which is good. The sound was often out of sync and looped after the fact. All in all, I was disappointed. It really isn't that hard with a story this good to make and even passable movie, but some how this director found a way to squander it all. Don't bother.

I must say, I'm not really a fan of Poe, but after this film.. Woh, I am now.. This film was great! The feel brought me back to the time of Alfred Hitchcock! I love this film! Ms. Thatcher was an amazing touch! What to say about this film? It's a great film, especially when you don't know the plot. Thats how I went in and I loved it!

The acting is very good. Austin and Izabella are very great in this film. I for one, am not a Izabella fan, only seeing her in Forsaken. But was pretty impressed. I wonder why she hasn't broken out yet. And Austin Nichols was a very nice addition. He made a great choice of the character, but felt he could've been less wooden. Other than that, great watch! I suggest this to everyone!

There really isn't much story here, so it is hard to imagine how this film can be retold. However, there is a twist in this retelling that makes for some interesting imaginings.

It is a Gothic tale with a very wooden Austin Nichols as Roderick Usher, a man who is dying, and dying to continue the family linage, and the curse as well. Izabella Miko, a really hot choice, is his old girlfriend brought back to complete his mission. She is caught in his web, although one has to wonder why, as he has no charm whatsoever.

She tries to escape once she discovers the awful family secret, but it is to no avail. It is only through the intervention of the creepy housekeeper, Mrs. Thatcher (Beth Grant), that she has a chance. Mrs Thatcher hates her, so it's hard to see how she will escape.

That's pretty much it. Like I said, there is not a of of story in this creepy Gothic by Edgar Allen Poe. It would probably be better to see Roger Corman's version.

Or, you could wait later this year for the gay version.

In this very serviceable thriller, a young woman named Jill hears from her former lover Roderick. He and his sister Maddie, her best friend when the three of them were at college together, disappeared suddenly from her life several years ago and she had not heard from either of them since. Roderick tells her that Maddie has died, and asks Jill to come for the funeral.

Roderick suffers from an illness that makes him sensitive to light and touch. He is a novelist and writes at night, wearing gloves and headphones to drown out sensation. He frequently communicates through typewritten notes that bear the Usher seal, weighty symbol of the burden of the Usher legacy. The novel he is writing parallels the happenings in the house, and he won't let Jill read it, saying that he isn't sure yet how it is going to turn out.

Roderick asks Jill to stay because he needs her, but she only gradually discovers his full intent. Austin Nichols is the restrained Roderick to Izabella Miko's translucent but determined Jill. Both are well cast in their roles.

The opening music and the repeated warnings of the housekeeper are a bit heavy-handed and the film might have done better to let the story unfold without them. The second half of the film has lots of plot twists that make for great after-viewing discussion. The artistry of the filming earned this film the best cinematography award at the Boston Film Festival where it premiered.

I recommend seeing this movie (but not alone!)