The House of Usher

The 2006 House Of Usher film (as opposed to the countless other versions, most recently in 2008) is dull as all hell.

Plainly put. Not much else to say. It's far too bland to even bother typing a review. It's a shoddy little piece. Relatively faithful to the original story, but a bland and tiresome film regardless.

Move on. Buy something interesting. Like, I dunno, Blood Monkey- which I might review some time in the next few weeks.

Since an IMDb review requires 10 or more lines, I suppose I really must elaborate: The film is tosh. It's trash. It's garbage. It takes the dry classical texts of Poe and vacuum seals them, taking out what little life remained from the distinctly dated original works. It borrows only the most obvious aspects of the story, ignores subtlety, and pisses on the livelier bits of the original story. I'm hard pressed to care about it, and even more pressed to write a review for a film so utterly pointless.

Curse it. Curse it back to the burned out pit it most inevitably came from.

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The physiotherapeutic Jill Michaelson (Izabella Miko) has difficulties to date since her beloved Rick Usher (Austin Nichols) and his twin sister Maddy (Danielle McCarthy) left her without giving any explanation. Out of the blue, Rick calls her to tell that Maddy has died. Jill decides to travel to the House of Usher to attend the funeral of Maddy, who was her best friend in college and saved her life, and has a cold reception of the housekeeper Mrs. Thatcher (Beth Grant). When Jill is leaving the house, Rick invites her to have dinner and tells that Maddy and he have neurasthenia and is hyper-sensitive. The love is rekindled and Rick asks her to stay until the next weekend. Along the days, Jill makes love with Rick and is haunted by the ghost of Maddy. Sooner she discovers the dark secret of the cursed family Usher.

"The House of Usher" is another version of the short story of Edgar Allan Poe. The screenplay develops the drama and romance of Jill in a very slow pace but the resolution when Jill finds the bonds in the Usher Family is rushed and confused. The Polish Izabella Miko shines in this film and I look forward to see her again. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "O Mistério da Casa dos Usher" ("The Mystery of the House of the Usher")

If you love the classics and was hoping for something remotely related to Poe.... stay away from this one. Nurse Thatcher? That really took a lot of creativity - not. I mean, thats something Mel Brooks would come up with. As a matter of fact, "High Anxiety" has more to do with Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher" than this crap. And, they should have got Cloris Leachman to play nurse Thatcher. Geez! This was bad. So bad. It was like something out of the far left wing of the democratic party. It was so bad. Like, maybe, Dennis Kucinich. In any event, there is no need to take the Tyleno PM with this bomb. 10 lines? I'm having a hard time coming up with ten lines. This movie was so bad you can't even say enough bad things about it.

"The House of Usher" is called "the modern re-telling of Edgar Allen Poe's story from a female perspective".Yeah right,and I'm an alien invader from Pluto.First of all,the film fails as a thriller as it's extremely boring and lacks tension.Like so many earlier adaptations of Poe's work,this latest interpretation bears little resemblance to the source material.The cast is pretty terrible,albeit it's nice to see Polish beauty Izabella Miko in the main role.On the plus side the cinematography is great and the last 15 minutes are actually quite interesting to say the least.It's a shame that the rest of the film is so painfully dull.If you want a proper Poe's adaptations rent or buy a couple of Roger Corman's flicks.3 out of 10.

I own a movie review blog and I reviewed this movie recently. IMDb does not allowed me to include URL's, so I will just paste what you would have found on my blog as my review of this film. "Based off the popular Edgar Allen Poe short story The Fall of the House of Usher. This 2006 adaptation was nothing like the Poe story. Other than a few names being the same I don't know how they can claim this as an adaptation. It was incredibly confusing. And the film ended leaving my mother and I with tons of questions. What was originally a story about two (male) college buddies somehow became about a girl and her old college lover in this film. There was some sexual content, not severe, but totally pointless. Not to mention the way the Rodrick Usher kisses his lover Jill makes me want to vomit. It was like he was trying to eat her face! Slirping and smacking and....ugh make me shiver just to recall it. No one should ever kiss like that, especially on film. There was a pointless character added in named Mrs. Thatcher. What she was supposed to bring to the plot I do not know. She was basically just a creepy old woman thrown in to add ambiance I guess. The acting was to be desired, but the scenery was pretty cool. I liked the old large manor, though it lacked the foggy green glow that the Usher manor was described as having in the short story. Overall, I would not see this film unless you want to be confused. Its not scary, its not suspenseful, its not accurate to the original story, (and if go for the hot and steamy films) the sex in this film isn't even sexy. All around fail in my book. "