Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties

It was FUN!

I had a good time watching the movie. I didn't get bored, I laughed more than a couple of times. I truly liked Garfield. I mean that cat has really good a sense of humor.

The plot was fine, the dialogs were brilliant. Garfield was fine. Even, Odie had his moment.

The animation could have been better but it really wasn't that bad. I can watch is again. Everything someone looks for in Garfield was there. So, I wasn't disappointed and I have no idea why people were.

If you ask me, watch it. Cause it is fun and that is enough.

OK, I admit that I watched this movie. But thankfully I watched it on a pirate DVD bought for two dollars from a dodgy looking bloke on Sadovaya Triumfalnaya in Moscow. He liked my girlfriend's red shoes and said they looked like the shoes of a Princess, which she is of course. I like her red shoes too, they are very nice shoes. They have embroidery and flat heels, but they got very wet when we got caught in the rain the day we went to Novospassky Monastery. Neither of us had a jacket or an umbrella so we got pretty wet but it was worth it because the monastery is beautiful. If you ever go to Moscow you should pay this place a visit, it's stunningly beautiful. Go to Taganskaya on the Circular line and it's a five minute walk along Kamenshiki Street, or at least it should be if you go with someone who knows how to read a street map. Still, it was a nice walk in the rain and we got there eventually even though the red shoes got very wet. Now, being that Novospassky is a Russian Orthodox monastery, women must cover their heads and must also cover their shoulders and should not be wearing trousers or short skirts. Red shoes are OK. So just inside the main gate there is a big box of scarves, shawls and wrap around skirts for the use of any women that may be unsuitably attired for entry into the church, and I must say that my beautiful girlfriend looked rather wonderful wearing all these things. I have pictures if you would like to see them. The inside of the church is decorated with painted walls and ceilings and there are stunning golden icons that look fabulous in the candlelight. There are no electric lights. The Russian choir sings and the priests walk around among the congregation, who stand and chant, there are no seats. It is one of the most spiritual experiences you'll ever have. Quite extraordinary. It is almost like being transported back to some medieval age. Anyway, why am I telling you all of this? Quite simply because it is much more interesting than talking about this movie. As I said, I, or should I say we, watched it on a dodgy pirate DVD that was on sale the day after the movie opened in Moscow. This, as it turned out, was a very good thing because it meant that I couldn't see or hear the movie very well so we turned it off after 20 minutes and that's the best way to watch it in my opinion.

The red shoes still look great though.

Am I really expected to review this? Are there any doubts as to my opinions regarding the film? Seriously? Sigh. All right. Whatever. Here: If you loved the first one then go see this; otherwise you'll want to avoid it like Kevin Federline avoids work.

I just don't have the energy to tear this to shreds. It'd be the equivalent of beating up a five-year-old - way too easy to be any fun. After all, it's the five-year-old demographic that the film is targeting. Well, plus the old person audience who thinks all forms of talking animals are cute.

Little kids will likely enjoy it. I was in a theater full of 'em, and they cackled at every burp and flatulence joke, and they howled every time Billy Connolly (trying hard to summon John Cleese) got bit in the crotch by a dog or slammed in the head by a household appliance. Meanwhile, I just stared stone-faced at the screen, as if I were at a Paris Hilton poetry reading.

I'm sure some of you parents will enjoy it (it's a slight step up from the original), but the majority will most likely be bored beyond comprehension and should probably start trying to convince the wee one that he needs to see Cars again.

All of you fathers who think Jennifer Love Hewitt's presence will be your saving grace, well, bad news - she's hardly in this at all. She'll provide you a few minutes of solace but will quickly and cruelly be whisked off screen so that we can be entertained by such images as Garfield bathing in a bidet and a weasel climbing up Connolly's trousers.

Yeah.

If that sounds like suitable entertainment to you then by all means, slap those Hamiltons on the counter. It's your retirement savings that you're gambling with, not mine.

THE GIST

Eh. Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties is strictly for those who were fans of the first movie, die-hard fans of Garfield, or those two young to form completely coherent sentences.

I did not know this was a children's movie. After all, Shrek, Monsters Inc., Toy Story, etc., appeal to children, but are also squarely aimed at adults. Garfield, Tale of Two Kitties is squarely aimed at younger folk, with a few mild chuckles for the parents. It was colorful, well done, excellent quality, etc. but let's face it, by being designed for 5-10 year-olds, it also had to be really sloooooooow.

Brekin Myer is a charming actor with good vibes. So is the chick--- Jennifer Love Hewitt. Likable people. The British supporting cast (note that the movie starts in America, but moves to an English location soon enough) is also excellent. Billy Connoly plays an odious villain; I find that comedian rather odious in person, myself. But I must confess he seemed to be a good actor--- maybe his odi-osity was due to great acting ability? Anyway--- Bob Hoskins is a hoot as the bulldog, and the other animal voices are good, too. Tim Curry was an amazing counterpart to Garfield, playing the ultra-posh aristocratic English cat, Prince. But again, the jokes are NOT multi-leveled. They are simple, aimed at 5 year-olds. If you take your kids, you'll like it too. If you go with adults, you'll have a lot of cognitive capacity left over whilst viewing it to accommodate virtually any daydreaming task.

I braced myself for 90 minutes of unfunny and weak cat jokes.

We were totally, and I mean totally, surprised: a really well-made film with lots of genuine laughs and the kids were all enthralled. Talking animals, a great turn by Billy Connolly (Who got my wife's vote for best dressed man in the movies this year - whoever did the tailoring on this really did a good job). Excellent sets (Castle Howard is perfect for this), and just plain fun all round.

Garfield and his doppelganger are very well animated: you really can't fault it.

Nothing too scary, nothing too rude, and lots of pratfalls, good one-liners, and fun to had by all. A nice dose of sentimentality -- all in all, and I hate myself for saying it, one of the most enjoyable films we've seen in a while - whether for kids or not.