Mad Cowgirl

Oh my God! This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is nothing but a continuous string of incoherent flashes of random images. This is a very low point in cinema history.

I gave up on the movie not even halfway through it. I couldn't stand the torture anymore. There was too much dribble and showing things that had nothing much to do with the main story.

And the acting in this movie, non-existent! It was horrendous at best. And the movie comes with stupid dialogue to go along with the lack of portraying any acting.

The cover looked promising, but just goes to prove that looks can be deceiving.

I advice you to stay well clear of this movie unless you like the type of movies that make little sense and just go on an on forever without getting anyway.

In MAD COWGIRL, a kung fu-loving, incestuous, preacher-dating meat inspector named Therese (Sarah Lassez) goes on a long descent into madness, when it clicks in her head that she's TV's "Girl With The Thunderbolt Kick". On a mission to destroy her enemies, bloody horror erupts. Sort of.

In a weird, convoluted way. This could / should have been a classic. Disturbingly, it grinds on forever, going nowhere, causing actual CJD (the human variant of Mad Cow Disease) in the viewer. Watching the entire movie unfold, one can feel the holes developing in the brain. This mind-vaporizing movie is simply too lethal to recommend! Walter Koenig is pretty good as the slimy Pastor Dylan, and could induce a sort of anti-salvation in the viewer. So, split the difference...

I'm come to the conclusion that there needs to be a new rating added to the system: APC, "Artsy Poser Crap". Characteristics: No straightforward plot development, completely unlikeable and undeveloped characters, elements tossed in for no reason at all, designed with smirking, jaded "Film Appreciation 201" grads in mind. That's right, I'm completely unimaginative, totally bogged down in traditional petite bourgeoisie story telling methodology--probably even (gasp!) straight, gender-preference-wise. But see, here's the thing: when I see a movie I like, it's because it succeeds by having a real story, real characters and real atmosphere. It doesn't have to toss together a bunch of disjointed shots and rambling dialog adorned by a hodge-podge score, then hope no one notices the absolute emptiness that results--or else is too afraid of being labeled as "unappreciative of art" to admit it.

Well, at the risk of being so pigeon-holed--"Cowgirl" is crap. Phony, jumbled crap. Interesting idea completely ruined by someone who apparently thought he would make "art".

So, please, Hollywood: APC. For those of us who prefer or creativity to have both content AND form, instead of cinemagraphic cuisinart.

Patooie.

Watching this movie my first thought was "Was that guy on Star Trek?" And my last thought was "I gotta get outta here!" It's probably not fair for me to critique this movie since I did not see the whole thing. That said, let me warn anyone who is thinking of seeing it that this is not a "regular" movie. By this I mean one that generally has a clear path or plot development that you can follow (or want to follow) from beginning to end. It has an off-beat independent film look and feel to it. Maybe it is. I didn't care enough to take 2 minutes to check.

No one in this movie seemed to have their head screwed on tightly. They all seemed as dysfunctional as the script which seemed to randomly stitch scenes together and toss images at you, with the recurring theme of the lead character bestially gorging herself on meat. Less anyone get the wrong impression, I am not without range: I do like SOME "quirky" and "offbeat" films and support experimental and independent film making. I believe they serve a good purpose towards the expanded expression and development of the art and human consciousness. I just "personally" couldn't get into this one.

Finally, for me this movie was like a long walk that was taking me nowhere (or nowhere I wanted to go, I'm not sure which). So half way thru I bailed. Lost my appetite, I guess. Love, Boloxxxi.

Therese, a young health inspector, breaks off her marriage and indulges herself in a variety of obsessions to take her mind off her loneliness. When she's not inspecting restaurants and butcher shops, she is erotically masticating large amounts of red meat, religiously watching a cheesy Kung-Fu show, engaging in casual sex, or having and affair with her favorite skeezy televangelist. Her compulsions spin out of control and her downward spiral turns lethal when she discovers that her meat-packing brother may have given her meat that may have been infected with mad cow disease.

Whoa. Where to begin with this one?! First off, Sarah Lassez is fantastic in the lead role. She displays incredible range. She's believable when she's breaking down and hilarious when she's imitating her favorite TV Kung Fu heroine. I don't really want to know how much red meat she consumed during the shooting...but let's just say she really knows how to take meat in her mouth. The supporting cast also fares well. Cult favorite James Duvall plays Therese's brother who may or may not have a crush on big sis. Devon Odessa (Sharon from My So Called Life!) is fun as her religious best friend with problems of her own. The film is uniquely shot (think "CrazyBird KatiePerson" but with a bit more talent behind the camera...and in the editing room) and the content is thoroughly repulsive.

As fascinating as it is to watch, some of the messages are muddled. It is obvious director Gregory Hatanaka is trying to draw a parallel between red meat and sex, but it's never really clear why, except to make the viewer feel icky. Perhaps I need to re-read Carol Adams' The Sexual Politics of Meat? There are some other weird situations (for example, her doctor speaks Sinhala and she responds in English) that make the film a bit difficult to get through. Still, it is worth seeing for its performances and originality. I really haven't seen anything like this out there. And if you're thinking about becoming vegetarian but are too, uh, chicken to make the transition, definitely check this one out. It'll make it easier.