- Doug Johnson: What kind of a survivor girl passes out in a pinch?
- Todd Best: Passes out? What kind of survivor girl hops on the nerdy kid's johnson like it's a pogo stick?
- Leslie Vernon: This is the living room. There's Church and Zoe. They are my little sweeties. Actually, he's not. Don't put your finger anywhere near him.
- Taylor Gentry: [whispers] Okay.
- Leslie Vernon: But you can pet *him*. He's a sweetie. I'm so terrible with these guys. I go away for days, forget to feed 'em. Little bastards just won't die.
- Taylor Gentry: Turtles are good that way, very feng shui.
- Leslie Vernon: Yeah yeah, plants and turtles. Plants and turtles. I only keep pets I can eat.
- Taylor Gentry: That boy is about to seek revenge over the town that murdered him. He knows this, he says, because he himself is the heir apparent to that throne of terror so long held by the likes of Voorhees, Myers and Krueger. This man's name is Leslie Vernon.
- Doug Johnson: But what if he comes at us?
- Taylor Gentry: Okay, cool, fine. You guys stand here holding your balls.
- Todd Best: She had to make the fucking balls reference.