Siegfried

Yes, that pretty much sums it up. I really thought 'Sieben Zwerge' was an all time low, that could not be surpassed by anything. Alas, i was wrong. Before I watched this a friend of mine joked that they are going to use the jokes which were too bad for 'Sieben Zwerge' in this movie and THEY ACTUALLY DID. The humor was limited to farting, kissing the butt of an annoying, talking baby pig and punching people in the face (there was more, but that's the level we are talking about). If whoever is responsible for writing this crap reads this review: A JOKE Doesn't BECOME BETTER IF YOU REPEAT IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. This time I'm pretty much certain that it's impossible to make a movie with worse jokes. After it was over i felt physically sick.

What else is there to say? If you liked 'Sieben Zwerge' and 'Traumschiff Surprise', then, by all means, go and watch this movie, or, even better, help to clean up the gene pool and shoot yourself. Now I'm going to check if I can somehow sue Sven Unterwaldt for crimes against humanity in The Hague.

This movie is not made for international broadcast, its just Tom Gerhard in his favorite foolish role. The story is simple and the jokes aren't very intelligent, in fact only primitive. But if you want to turn off your brain, maybe you can enjoy the hole thing. Tom Gerhard is the best comedian playing a "kölsch"(colonian) primitive.

The story is a stultification of the old German legend about Siegfried and the treasure of the Nibelungen. The plot is easy to summaries, a stupid adopted son of a blacksmith, who is the strongest man on earth meets accidentally a beautiful princess, he falls in love in her and tries to fulfill some tasks to marry her. But the problem is the princess doesn't want to marry this stupid guy. So her worshiper from the castle does anything to stop and kill Siegfried.

Oh my God, this is an all time low for the German ( Comedy ) Movie Industry. "7 Zwerge" was really bad, but "Siegfried" tops it 2 times. I couldn't believe my eyes what I was seeing, the jokes are so down and used again again and again. All what I can say is poor Mr. Unterwaldt, and if this wasn't enough he ( Sven Unterwaldt ) is going to direct another "7 Zwerge" Movie. What can I say about the movie, we have talking, farting animals no fun at all, throwing up and pissing humans, it doesn't get any worse then this, hopefully. The movie was going down the drain with the first scene, it not even took one minute of the clock and I was almost out of the theater. I hope Michael "Bully" Herbig can make once again a movie that is classy. If you read this comment before seeing the movie think twice before going to the theater.

No pun intended and for those not initiated or rather in the not know (you lucky .. ones), the main "actor" (it is a stretch calling him that, some even argue if he is a comedian, though I would not go that far, humor is always in the eye of the beholder) has a ... well let's call it saying ... where he says "totally normal"! But he has a spin on it (the way he speaks those words) ... I reckon people find it either super funny or super annoying. There is no in between.

But even his biggest fans - I can't fathom many actually liking what was done here ... what they produced. You can like skits, funny bits as standalone. But I do doubt that the movie as a whole will work for many ... if any. Predictable is one thing ... but this is just ridiculous and even suspension of disbelief won't help.

There are some recognizable German faces (from the entertainment industry, comedy and otherwise) ... not sure if that helps anyone actually enjoying this ... you decide. Weak script, weak story, weak "performances" overall ... I do like the pig ... I like animals in general in case you were wondering ... which is a trivia that is as helpful as anything you will see in this ... or not at all.

German "humour" at its worst: Bad acting, lame fabricated plot, no identifiable character arc, stunted dialogues, zero suspense or unpredictability, and not funny at all.

Siegfried is an annoying bumbling fool, the "bad guys" a bunch of clowns (in a forced, unfunny way). And for reasons nobody understands, a bad version of a talking "piglet babe" is Siegfried's constanr sidekick with long and prominent parts in the film, adding nothing to the story but irritation.

The jokes are terrible and not funny at all, with actors laughing about themselves, while the audience sits silently staring at the screen in a state of lugubrius dread.

The whole thing is so annoying that you kind of hope and beg for Siegfried (and the random pig) to please get killed!

This film has really nothing going for it, and is a shameful offence to a great German myth.