Failure to Launch

After wasting my time on this pathetic movie, I have made a decision not to ever watch another movie with Sara Jessica Parker. She has continued the exact same one dimensional acting in every single part she has ever played, this movie being no exception. She can't seem to get past playing "Carrie" no matter what the subject matter. One of the previous posters rightfully acknowledged SJP's habit of clutching at her abdomen and chest for effect in every single role she plays. Her high pitched screaming in every performance is the most irritating of all. I wonder how she continues to be cast in movies when she has no range as an actress.

While watching this movie I had the feeling that they must have rushed the production just to get it made. There are tons of errors and hardly a single thought is completed. All of the actors seem as though they would rather be somewhere else. It is not funny, clever or entertaining. Don't be drawn in by the trailer or any previews of this movie. It is the bottom of the barrel.

Failure to Launch (2006)

Another decent but sometimes strained interference with love film. I can think of two more classic recent ones, "Hitch" and "Heartbreaker," and this doesn't rise to those modest heights.

The impressive star of the two leads is the lesser name, charming and gorgeous Matthew McConaughey, who is not just believable but also compelling (which is something different). Across from him is the Sex and the City mega-star, Sarah Jessica Parker, who is good, and who does the job as a would-be pretend girlfriend who really does fall in love. Or not. You'll see.

The whole hook is an obvious one--first the woman is hired to make the man fall enough in love with him that he'll finally move out of his parents house. Then she'll collect her fee and boogie. But no, we know from the get-go, as with any screwball comedy, that the two leads are destined to be together. But when one learns the other's secret, what true love there was goes on the rocks. This is exactly what the other two films (above) did, and I'm sure it's a burgeoning new genre.

What drags it down a bit are the side plots and side characters. Many of these are good or even terrific one way or another, but it's all patched together and a little lightweight and thin. The best of these is Parker's roommate, played with Oscar-worthy dreariness by Zooey Deschanel (who also appeared in "(500) Days of Summer"). But the sideshows of the mockingbird, the biting dolphin, and even the baroque arrangement with the t.v. monitors in the final scenes are all a little clunky. Good on paper, maybe, but in the end you have to make yourself enjoy the best of it all, which will make you laugh and have fun.

I got to see a preview of this the other night . . I went in thinking this was just another silly romantic comedy, but I must say I laughed a bit and enjoyed some of the crude humor. The audience I sat with loved it and laughed often, so I think this will do well in the theater especially those that enjoy Mr. McConaughey's abs and southern charm. There's actually some great nature shots with Dolphins and other fun-loving creatures, but I won't go into detail since it would spoil some of the crude humor in this flick. I think this would make a great date film since most of the film is told from the male perspective, so it's not your typical female male basher. Zooey Deschannel has some great moments as well with her deadpan looks and offbeat charm. There's no Oscar worthy performances here, just a fun silly, offbeat romantic comedy with a little um-nudity from Mr. Bradshaw (no frontal of course).

Another pre-McConaissance mediocre rom-com from ya boi Matty McConaughey. There's a smidgen of chemistry between him and Parker, but not nearly enough to keep this cliched, predictable film afloat (get it? because boats?). Deschannel is the MVP and by far the highlight of the film, though her random mockingbird side quest takes up a disturbing amount of time. This really is a great cast that just isn't given great material. The constant, over-the-top animal-biting scenes? WTF. It's some mild entertainment, but nothing to write home about.

Why, oh, why, can Hollywood assemble such a fantastic cast, and fail the cast members so miserably with the script? Stay home and watch a "Friends" rerun and you'll probably witness a more coherent, funnier, and truer script.

Every actor in this cast, including Terry Bradshaw, a former football player, is fantastic.

In fact, why can Terry Bradshaw, a former football player, act better than professional Hollywood writers can write? This script is a mess. Scenes are short and borderline incoherent, or so dumb as to be targeted at an audience too young to care about romance. What's the point of putting goofy scenes, like the fake bird fake CPR scene, a scene that every seven year old in the audience will wake up for, in an alleged "romantic" comedy? There's no romance here. None. Zero. Zip. How do you put two such beautiful, sexy, charismatic actors -- Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker -- in a movie, and yet have absolutely zero romance or heat or sexual chemistry in the movie? I mean, you'd really have to be trying to make a movie this erotically neutered with two such stars.

Nothing here makes much of any sense at all. The scenes are a jumble of failed ideas quickly abandoned. The direction and editing are nil.

A few scenes are ridiculous and childish. Matthew McConaughey is repeatedly attacked by wild animals. These scenes just never take off.

A few scenes are painful.

MM takes SJP on a date on someone else's boat, pretending that it's his. He's caught, and has to run away. Is he supposed to be such a tacky character? Why is SJP supposed to fall in love with him? After MM discovers that his parents have been paying SJP to date him (this isn't a spoiler; this plot device is revealed early on), he uses a particularly crude word to tell her to go away. It's a believable reaction, but since everything else in the movie is so unbelievable, it's just awkward and does not fit.

Then there is the scene where one group of characters spies on another couple of characters via webcams. It's meant to be heartwarming, but it's just utterly unbelievable and really creepy. Whoever scripted this scene is tone deaf.

And a few scenes are just plain bizarre, as if they came from another movie.

This is such a shame. The actors were up for it, but the script writers and director gave them nothing to work with.