Hell Ride

Its not the worst movie i've seen. Its kind of fun, fairly stupid, and a totally pointless movie. But if your to lazy to pick up the remote, you can manage to get through it.

I have had more boring stretches of 80 minutes in my life, but none are coming to mind right now. Hell Ride is based on the retro cult 70s theme that Tarantino brought back, and did right, in movies like Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. The problem with Hell Ride is, unlike PF and RD, the story is garbage and so is character development. How many movies does Bishop think he can blatantly steal from? The brief case in Pulp Fiction, the air gun in No Country, etc. etc. Speaking of Bishop what the hell is he doing acting in this movie? I couldn't help but laugh at those scenes where he's standing with his pelvis trusted out, desperately trying to seem like some hardened biker. Nothing in this movie is believable. And why Dennis Hopper? Did they really need the Easy Rider motif too? I blame Larry Bishop, for his horrible plot and dialogue, not to mention his failed attempt at the leading role. Don't bother watching this movie, it's a waste of time.

I honestly do not get why so many people are upset with this film. Its rough, its ridiculous, its over the top, and its a great ride! I admit its not film-making that will change the world- but its a gritty exploitation film, and for anyone who's gotten a kick out of "Devils Rejects," "Kill Bill" or the "Desperado" series this is at least worth taking a peak at.

The cast is all great- Bishop, Balfour and Madsen make a cool trio, each stealing the show at different moments, Dennis Hopper really gives a memorable and entertaining performance, and Carradine shines in a very (darkly) funny cameo. Vinnie Jones is good, he could have been given more to do, but he is entertaining and handles his weapon of choice quite expertly. The story, well- its simple. Its a revenge tale, and an excuse for lots of mayhem and carnage to take place. Again, if you want a gritty, rough around the edges exploitation flick, I do not know what else people are expecting. The story serves its purpose, and keeps the audiences entertained for the hour and a half it plays out. The dialogue does get a bit overly cheesy at points, but that really only adds to the charm of this absurd film- it'll make you laugh, it'll make you puzzle, but I never found any lines to be so distracting that I could not enjoy the film.

So see it if you know what you're getting into! There's a hell of a lot of violence, far far far more nudity, disgusting language and a good amount of despicable anti-heroes. For the type of film that it is, it is very well done and very entertaining! I heartily recommend it for a good, demented time at the movies. I only wish it'd get a wider release, Im lucky I got to see it at all!

Director/lead Larry Bishop tried way, way too hard with Hell Ride. The movie wants to be edgy, witty, provocative, outlandish, biting all of this, seemingly in a Quentin Tarantino/Rob Zombie style. But it's not edgy. The references seem forced. The dialog tries to be clever and fails. The humor is never funny. Nice try setting a gritty tone but we'd have to care about the characters or the story for it to remotely succeed.

What you're left with are cool Harleys and pretty girls surrounding a bunch of tired, old and out of shape "bad boys" in what looks like an attempt to do a modernized Sergio Leone western. If this movie can make newer generations interested in 60s and 70s films, kudos for it. But on its own, it is rather boring and irrelevant. I do believe there is a place for style over substance. But this movie is not it.

To say this movie is bad would be to simplify matters to the extreme and with the exception of Hell Ride's plot, nothing in this life is that simple.

So what's wrong with it exactly... Larry Bishop. The guy must have balls the size of two small dogs to think he could pull this off. Bikes, beer and booty makes for one great cocktail but bikes, beer, booty and bishop... not so good.

The story is interesting, the theme is great, the cast, characters and acting are over the top but welcome, hell, even the directing is good but Larry, why did you have to put yourself in it as the lead? Casting yourself as the lead is a step too far. This isn't going to get you any leading actor roles but will most certainly deem you to a life of character bit parts and walk ons. Larry successfully delivers some of the most ham-fisted dialogue in the most atrocious of displays of acting ever witnessed on celluloid. I can't even bring myself to disgust the batman-esq vocal shenanigans but it's poor.

I am beginning to meander almost as badly as this movie. So in a nutshell: Great cast, great concept, compelling direction, terrible, terrible lead acting.