The King Maker

Up to this point, Gentle Rain was the movie I found the worst in history. It has been supplanted by this 'blockbuster' out of Asia. It has one "star" and it is John Rhys Davies. He is way out of shape to be the swashbuckling, magical flying baddie he is cast here. The rest of these people couldn't act their way out of a junior high school play. No clichés were missed in the dialogue, and the special effects were phoned in as often as possible.

It is fairly easy to see that somebody in Asia had some bucks and needed to create a vehicle for some actors they wanted to throw money at. Or maybe it was a director or a writer that needed a credit. My guess is that any career with this movie in it's credential

Do yourself a major favor and don't watch this movie. A hundred Thanksgivings couldn't consume this turkey.

The one funny scene was unintentional. The brother of the King appears on the scene. The king? A handsome, older, short Asian actor. (Bad actor.) The brother? A six foot European. (Also a bad actor.) No excuses were made for this. They just expected us not to notice that this poor man's Jet Li's brother was a wannabe Pierce Brosnan in a cheap dimestore "Injun" wig right out of an old western movie from the forties.

THE KING MAKER will doubtless be a success in Thailand where the similar (but superior) 'The Legend of Suriyothai' set box office records. The film directed by Lek Kitaparaporn after a screenplay by Sean Casey based on historical fact in 1547 Siam has some amazingly beautiful visual elements but is disarmed by one of the corniest, pedestrian scripts and story development on film.

The event the picture relates is the arrival of the Portuguese soldier of fortune Fernando de Gamma (Gary Stretch) whose vengeance for this father's murderer drives him to shipwrecked, captured and thrown into slavery and put on the bloc in Ayutthaya in the kingdom of Siam where he is purchased by the beautiful Maria (Cindy Burbridge) with the consent of her father Phillipe (John Rhys-Davies), a man with a name and a past that are revealed as the story progresses. There is a plot to overthrown the King and Fernando and his new Siamese sidekick Tong (Dom Hetrakul), after some gratuitous CGI enhanced choreographed martial arts silliness, are first rewarded by the King to become his bodyguards, only to be imprisoned together once Queen Sudachan (Yoe Hassadeevichit) reveals her plot to kill the king and son to allow her lover Lord Chakkraphat (Oliver Pupart) to take over the rule of Siam. Yet of course Fernando and Tong escape and are condemned to fight each other to save the lives of their families (Tong's wife and children and Fernando's now firm love affair with Maria) with the expected consequences.

The acting (with the exception of John Rhys-Davies) is so weak that the film occasionally seems as though it were meant to be camp. The predominantly Thai cast struggle with the poorly written dialog, making us wish they had used their native Thai with subtitles. The musical score by Ian Livingstone sounds as though exhumed form old TV soap operas. But if it is visual splendor you're after there is plenty of that and that alone makes the movie worth watching. It is a film that has obvious high financial backing for all the special effects and masses of cast and sets and shows its good intentions. It is just the basics that are missing. Grady Harp

This is a movie which attempts a retelling of Thai history, set in the ancient city of Ayutthaya. I decided to watch this film because I thought it was along the lines of many Thai films I've watched and enjoyed, one that has Thai actors speaking Thai and martial arts craziness. Well, it's none of that. This film is shot entirely in English, is chock full of Anglo actors, and has production values so terrible it is laughably bad....but not funny! Who can we blame for this rubbish? The acting, dialog, and most of the sets were quite bad. Some of the fight scenes looked like they were choreographed by the local high school drama club. The special effects were also mostly bad, but a few were just cheap animation patched onto the screen that provided an especially cheesy effect. It has one large, epic-style outdoor battle scene, where a few thousand extras get to run across a field in costume, but when we see the two armies collide in combat--HA! What a joke! The film does feature a couple of beauties. What a pity they didn't show a little more skin. At least that would have been something for the guys to appreciate. Don't bother.

No spoilers! I liked this movie! It is a kid's movie with an R rating, ha ha.

OK, yes this movie is not excellent, but frankly it is not as bad as all these reviews say it is. I have seen many acclaimed movies that receive rave reviews that are not much better than this one. What is the difference between those movies and this one? This one has unknown lead actors and people are biased about watching movies with the lead roles not given to "star" actors. In my opinion the acting in this movie is not bad, just that the actors are not loved actors.

Some have criticized the modern music and the fake British accents. I am really tired of the hypocrisy of these kinds of reviews. First they want the music to be "true to the time period" and then they want the Portuguese to speak perfect British English. Give me a break, there is not a British character in the whole film, why should any of them speak English well?

The acting is not bad! It just isn't perfect! OK, granted the script does sound like they google translated it, the dialogue is awkward and sometimes doesn't really fit the character. But who cares? It is not an English film! I like the fact that they don't speak English very well. It gives it more authenticity as a whole.

Why can't people stop their petty criticism and just enjoy a movie for what it is? I think that what people don't like is the R rating with no nudity or gratuitous sex. I can guarantee that if they showed some naked breasts there would be far less bad reviews altogether. Personally, I didn't miss it!

I liked a lot of things about this movie... the scenes, the sets, costumes... but I feel like the actors were chosen solely by appearance... they do fit in.. until they speak. They speak with such a fake and weird English accent that it becomes cringy, really. Which is shame because they are quite good looking... the queen, her lover, Fernando, his girl, Tong etc. But most of them are really bad actors.. like, anti-talents... but not all. Wish there was more character development, because when you watch it like this you don't have much to linger on after. Everything is so obvious. Everyone's intentions, feelings. Not a bad thing, but it does feel empty and it makes you feel unsatisfied after enjoying the beautiful sets, decorations, costumes... it is just so straightforward and concrete. Also I need to comment acting of murdered king's brother. It's so terrible, I cringe and skip his part every time I watch the movie. I watch the movie only for couple of captivating interesting scenes because overall it's just unbearable to watch, which is shame, as it could have been a fantastic movie. Nevertheless it did make me fall in love with South East Asia with all that beauty, and if that is why they made the movie, they succeeded.