La cueva

Two things - one: this film is nowhere near as bad as some say. Of course, that doesn't make it good, but I enjoyed it.

Second - the prop used to show the strength of communications signal when the first scout explores the cave system is in fact a silver Korg guitar tuner! Not worth mentioning usually except that it is shown in close up several times during this sequence, with the row of red lights normally used to show how close to the note the guitar string is representing here the strength of the signal from the first scout diver...

You can freeze the DVD on one of the closeups to see the words "Cents" and "Hz" and the note names E A D G B E written on the tuner. Classic.

Now that's what I call cheap props for an expensive film. Incidentally, the Korg tuners are very good - at tuning guitars.

What differentiates "The Cave" from other horror films is the setting. The plot takes place mostly in a large cave, some of which is underwater.

By far, the best element of this film is the underground scenery. The sets are realistic, with spaces and formations that one might see in certain large caverns. And, the film nicely conveys a sense of vertical scale, as we watch cavers climb rock walls, and explore huge rooms with towering ceilings.

The problem here is that the film's director is so committed to an action plot that the camera rarely stays in one scene long enough for the viewer to have a sense of place. We thus forgo the thrill that an underground environment could provide. There's no feeling of amazement, no claustrophobia from tight crawlways, no real fear of any kind. The film's fast pace, combined with characters we barely know and care nothing about, thus dilutes the intended suspense.

The cinematography is flashy and very technical. The lighting is appropriately subdued with interesting colors and unusual camera angles. The background music is somewhat intrusive. Dialogue is weak. And the actors, who appear to be in their twenties, are all photogenic, straight out of central casting. The monsters, what we see of them, seem slightly hokey.

Overall, "The Cave" will appeal to viewers who like horror films set in unusual environments, wherein the pace is super fast, and there is a ton of action. Viewers looking for a credible story will need to exit the cave ... quickly.

I give it an average "5" because it's an average movie. Not really bad, not really good. Just not really ANYTHING. It just sat there and didn't really do anything. As a "man against the elements" movie, it was at least interesting. As a "creature feature," it was completely dull and unoriginal. The characters were one-dimensional - you wouldn't care about any of them.

Rather than letting us spend the time with these characters to learn how and why they are so close-knit, the script writer simply had one of the characters say, "We're like a family." - OK, if you say so . . . then why does no one in the group shed a single tear when people start dying? Characters move from death scene to death scene as if they are just losing casual acquaintances - but wait, she said "they are like a family." OH, I get it - because most family members can't stand each other - OK, now it makes sense! Anyway - if they had lost the monsters, gotten some better actors and a better script, and simply made a movie about cave divers lost underground having to band together to get out, this might have been a decent movie. As it is, the "escape the cave" element is never really richly developed, and instead the focus seems to be on "scaring" you, which it never does, or "wowing" you with action and effects, which it CERTAINLY never does.

In the end, a wasted opportunity, with the only redeeming feature being the nice sets and photography. Wait till it comes to cable, dudes!

Thirty years ago, in the Carpathians Mountains of Romania, a group of explorers blows an entrance to a cave hidden under a church, but the explosion causes a landslide and they become trapped inside. In the present days, the expedition leaded by Dr. Nicolai (Marcel Iures) and his assistant, Dr. Kathryn (Lena Headey) are exploring the place and they find the access through an underwater river, requesting the experienced cave divers team leaded by Jack (Cole Hauser). Dr. Nicolai discovers that, in accordance with the local legend, the church was built to seal the cave as a display of God's protective power, and that Templar Knights entered the cave to fight winged demons. When the group reaches a cave though a tunnel one mile below and three miles in, a creature attacks one of the members and his breathing apparatus explodes, collapsing the tunnel and trapping the group in the cave. Sooner they realize that they are the rescue team and they have to find an exit to survive from the attack of the monsters.

"The Cave" is a predictable rip-off of Alien. If the viewer sees the trailer, as I did, he knows the whole story, and will only bet how many, if any, of the characters will survive in the end. This movie entertains because of the locations and the good cast. I am a fan of Lena Headey and her beauty is a good reason to see this film. The conclusion is a hook for a sequel, as usual. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "A Caverna" ("The Cave")

The Cave and The Descent both came out around the same sort of time in the UK but, unlike Armageddon/Deep Impact etc, both were low budget affairs and it wasn't like there was any sort of box office battle between them. Were there a battle though, it would be the sort of boxing match that is over after twelve seconds when the referee stops it – and The Descent would be far and away the winner across almost all measures (except "number of men in cast" I guess). There will always be better films though, so we shouldn't focus on a better one while watching The Cave but rather judge it on its own merits and whether or not it delivers enough to be worth seeing. Roughly the film just about has enough in it to distract but never more than that – and it is never just one thing that is the weakness because the film has issues across it in almost every area that conspire to make it a "so-so" product.

The plot is fine for a monster movie and, coming into the film I was already prepared for "group enter situation for some reason, get trapped and are picked off one by one until only a few manage to escape" film that I hoped would be exciting and enjoyable for what it was. I tend to do this with genre movies because there is little point in looking for more and moaning when it is not there; however, it is fair comment when the genre aspects are badly done or fudged so that it doesn't even operate at the level of the genre. This is the case with The Cave, which cannot ever manage to settle on an approach and focus on making it work really well. The plot is not really the issue but the delivery of it is. Suspension of belief is important and you generally get that by bringing the audience so into the world of the film that they only think with the logic internal to the film, if they have want to think at all. Tension and excitement are ways of doing this and The Descent showed how that was done – The Cave shows how not to do it.

There isn't really any tension here and even the attacks are not that excitement. Mostly they are delivered in bloodless ways with frantic camera work so that you cannot see what is going on. Later on some of the horror gets "uncomfortable" but never more than that; I doubt my pulse got above resting levels at any point during the film. The creatures themselves are reasonable CGI effects but are just another CGI-generated monster that owes a lot to many other creatures that have gone before it – I think there must be a Hollywood CGI computer programme that you push a button and it generates creatures at random with the ability to tweak or add bits to it (in this case wings). The cast are just a bland and unimaginative though. Hamstrung by a poor script, their performances are average and nobody really steps up to engage with the audience and make it "fun" for them. I expected Morris Chestnut to do this but nope. Hauser is the "main" character and does try to make his character's twist work but it gets lost between him and the filmmakers and something that could have been a building menace from within is just another thing that don't work! It also leads to a twist at the end that is only terrifying in that it suggests a sequel (which will probably never come). Perabo provides looks and body to the mix and has a bit of energy but the film never uses her. Headey, Cibrian, Ravanello, Kim and the others might as well have been cardboard cut-outs carried round on sticks for all the difference they made – not that they are "bad" just that nobody can bring anything of real meaning. Hunt's direction is poor. He never really uses his underground/underwater locations to good effect and it is only ever the setting and not a massive part of the film working as it was in The Descent.

What we are left with is a genre film that grinds away at a very basic level, never aspiring to much and delivering less than it should have done. It is distracting but dull as uninteresting characters are killed by creatures that don't inspire terror in ways that are as thrilling as vacuuming the front room. Maybe it is OK for a lazy Friday night in with a basic cable movie, but if you want more than the absolute basics then it is not for you.