Thralls

First, there is the word Beli-al, the name of a demon. The word is transformed into the Necronomicon, a powerful book of spells, but then it disappeared. Mr. Jones (Lorenzo Lamas) is a powerful vampire with his minion Rennie. He keeps six beautiful women prisoners as thralls or semi-vampires. Roxie, Leslie, Lean, Brigitte and Buzz manage to escape. Leslie's sister Ashley arrives in the big city. The girls are running a hot local club. It's the winter solstice. Jim falls for Ashley. His cousin is an idiot. Ashley realizes that some of the girls are vampires.

The dialog is god-awful. The acting is even worst. Lorenzo Lamas may be the best actor in the lot which says everything. Beautiful women kicking butt can go a little way but it doesn't alleviate the movie's many problems. Lamas is the big bad but he doesn't have enough screen time. The story is more complicated than it needs to be. The exposition comes too late. It is a mess and not scary as a vampire horror.

This movie was uniquely horrible. I would never have seen it if I wasn't horribly bored and it just happened to be on TV. It's about this group of women who host a huge party out in the middle of no where. Seemingly innocent, right? Of course not. The story focuses on Ashley (Siri Baruc) a young girl who has an unfortunate home life, thus goes to live with her older sister, who, by golly, is part vampire. The story involves a plethora of sexually charged young men being bitten by women with long, very pointy teeth in regions which are very precious to them. Also, a woman's breasts have some sort of demon popping out of them, to attack a young rapper Asian named Doughboy. What more could you ask for in a B-grade Canadian horror film?

The film was done pretty good. The actresses are also fine-> young, beautiful and talented (I especially liked Fiona Scott).

But the story did not impress me. I wasn't excited when I watched this movie, I was somehow looking forward to the end of it. I also felt a little bit sleepy while watching it. When I watch film, I have to understand everything in it-> why is everything just the way it is.. But in this story, things are just not clear enough. I never knew why something happened.. It is like a story for a 5 years old children. Some things just don't make any sense.

That's why I give this film only 6/10.

...about being any good. Because "Thralls" does actually give a damn about being enjoyable and giving B-movie fanatics a fun time. Really, this might very well be the definition of modern day camp. A bunch of gorgeous, hot-looking half-vampire babes open up a nightclub in which unsuspecting, trouble-making ravers end-up as a midnight snack. The plan is to free themselves from slavery by vampire-lord Johnny (played by Lorenzo Lamas who strikes an intentional ridiculous note here) and hereby upgrade themselves from 'thralls' to full-blooded vampires. Johnny-boy has a plan for himself, though: summoning an evil demon to make himself an über-vampire. It's all good and enjoyable campy fun. The CGI demon-head near the end is so crappy that it doesn't even live up to Playstation 1 graphics. But that's all part of the game. And if you don't have any sense of humor at all, then don't even consider giving "Thralls" aka "Blood Angels" a watch.

On a side-note: I always have to laugh with Lorenzo Lamas. Can't help it, when I hear his name pop up, because I've always considered him to be a not-so-very-good actor (and I'm being polite here). But in "Thralls" he's actually quite a bit of fun to watch. And to my surprise, he even managed to entertain me a second time very recently, when I popped in this Z-grade CGI-infested rubbish called "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" (proudly produced by The Asylum company). Good old Lorenzo really is a hoot and a whole barrel of fun in this one. Virtually all of his lines had me laughing out loud. And he seems very well aware of how to deliver his pun-filled nonsense. Seems like he does have some talent for something after all... Go, Lamas, go! A few more of these flicks, and you'll hit a strike! Anyway, I think I'm straying off topic here... But do support Lorenzo Lamas, and go watch "Shark Thralls vs. Blood Octopus" or... something... Which movie was I talking about again?

One of the common complaints in this country is that we tend to make oblique films, weird films, deliberately shocking films and boring drawing room pieces. I have often felt that Canadians should make more accessible films in addition to our trademark films sensitively or insensitively tackling subjects about necrophilia, auto-erotica, sexual abuse, magical lesbians, suicidal gay males and the assorted, at times inexplicably disturbing subject matter of David Cronenberg. Unfortunately, when Canadians try to make films that reach a broader audience what we often get are films like "Men with Brooms" that try too hard to be an accessible, popular 'Canadian' film. We also get films like "Thralls" that try hard to be American, but fail horrifically. A film like "Thralls" always feels like a low grade Canadian film. Low grade American films feel different, less amateurish even. If you are tempted to watch this for some of the babes listed in the cast (like Leah Cairns, who I hope becomes part of the regular Battlestar Galactica cast as Racetrack)take a chance on something else they have been in, chances are it will be more worth your while.