Fat Slags

Whether or not "Fat Slags" is among the worst films ever made is up for debate. The production values aren't really bad and the film technically speaking isn't horrible. However, the script and characters are among the most detestable and disgusting I've ever seen...and I have almost 19,000 reviews to my credit!!

The film consists of two extremely untalented and shrill actresses in fat suits behaving like pigs. I won't mention the women's actual names, as I don't wish to give them any publicity whatsoever--plus I cannot see how either worked again after starring in this film. Their characters, Sandra and Tracey, fart, rape delivery men, abuse everyone around them and fart...a lot. This sort of subhuman act makes even the most obnoxious and talentless comedians seem like thespians compared to them. Their gross and shrill antics go on and on and on without letup and it's no exaggeration that there really is no equal to them in awfulness.

The story is that a big media owner (Jerry O'Connell) sees these disgusting 'women' on TV (as they are destroying a talk show and sexually assaulting the host) and decides to make them super-stars-- all because he's had a traumatic brain injury. So, you see them walk the runways of a fashion show, on TV again and pretty much abuse everyone around them. And, completely inexplicably, they become super-stars--and are able to then spread their self-absorbed lifestyle and attitudes to the world.

Throughout this film are various appearances by B-list actors who are apparently attempting to become D-list celebrities! How they allowed themselves to be seen with these completely untalented actresses is beyond me...and may just be the result of real head injuries! The film is tough to take, shrill and devoid of talent or entertainment value unless you are a complete idiot. A film to be avoided unless you are showing it to detainees at Gitmo to make them talk.

The only thing in this god-awful mess of a film that I did like were the two men from the North of England who tried to make it to London. EVERYONE kept thinking that they were illegal aliens because they couldn't be understood by anyone due to their heavy North England accents...a funny observation about the MANY British dialects. Still, while mildly amusing, the rest of the film was like going for a swim in a septic pool and this somewhat amusing subplot was wasted.

Having been madly in love with the Fats Slags since I was a young man, I was disappointed with this movie. How on earth can directors and producers continue to imagine that it can still be funny to take ordinary people and make them rich and successful, after Rosanne destroyed her career by doing exactly that with her working class show. This is without the incredibly clichéd notion that there is something inherently funny about working class people from the north of England. They talk in a funny way , they say funny things and they don't understand sophisticated ideas like art. What a loads of dated old rubbish. The charm of the fat slags was always that they are only concerned with satisfying their immediate needs whether food, sex or anything else and this is what makes them perfect women. They have a view of themselves which depends only on the reflection one slag provides for the other and they are completely indifferent to the feelings and sensibilities of anyone else. These are the Fat Slags as the ideal women they are, the characters in this film are a complete travesty. Still, they can't take away my dreams.

That sounds like a pretty outrageous claim, but see the movie and you will know where I'm coming from (oo-err! bit of innuendo!) Really though, this is an abomination of a film, dreadful in every possible aspect. As a life long Viz reader I know what a Fat slags movie should be like, and this just ain't it. Similarities between the comic book characters and on screen counterparts was minimal: they're fat, oh yeah, and, well, that's it really. They should be constantly looking for sex, getting drunk and generally being loud and offensive: doesn't sound like much of a plot, but come, the film only lasts 75 or so minutes, (which really drags). The two actresses were also very poor, just plain annoying. And how could they miss out the trademark laugh? NA AA AA AA AA AA AA AA AA: no such laughs in this movie. Save time and read the comic instead.

I have a nasty feeling that most of the people who've given this 1 did actually laugh at at least one thing, but then noticed that they'd done so, and felt shame at laughing at something so low-brow.

Now consider the priest who wishes to stamp out the evils of homosexuality, the politician who wishes to keep it, or make it, illegal. You know the ones, the ones found with rent-boys a few years later. They notice something inside themselves that they felt shame about, and they wish to crush it. (Book of Mormon reference - see it.)

Stop over-compensating. Just be honest to yourselves. It was trashy low-brow, camply over-acted in places, toilet-to-gutter-level, immature comic-book humour. Yes, and it was kinda funny. They captured the absurd irreverence of the Viz cartoon rather well.

If you watched this not expecting potty humour - *you* are stupid, not the film.

Likewise, if you gave it 10, consider those who remark that everything even vaguely camp is fabulous! No it's not. Stop over-compensating. Be honest to yourselves. It was trashy low-brow, camply over-acted in places, toilet-to-gutter-level, immature comic-book humour. Yes, and it was kinda funny.

OK, I know I've just insulted 80% of the people who've voted on this film (that is the case, I don't deny it), and apparently also insulted everyone else from priests to homosexuals (which is not the case - I just needed a metaphor), but I've long thought that when averages on IMDb are evaluated, all 1s and 10s should be silently ignored. The U-shaped "bell curve" of this film reinforces that opinion.

I was expecting a 3, maybe 4 if it was Viz-like enough, which it was (sorry Viz, I'm still a fan of the original). But I laughed more than expected, hence the score. The stupidity of it worked for me. I was entertained. As was my girlfriend (though perhaps not quite as much, but we are from slightly different cultural backgrounds).

Loved the supporting roles - all of them hit the nail square on. Dolph - there's no shame, no need to drown your agent - you were grand. Punt and Dennis - classic. Les Dennis - even you should get a pat on the back!

Wonderful acting with many moving cameos. A script and screenplay that transcends anything I have ever seen before. This masterpiece makes "Sex Life of the Potato Men" look like "Citizen Kane".