The Park

I've seen some dodgy HK movies in my time, but this has to rank pretty highly in the roll-call of stinkers. An unstructured, clumsily-paced mess from start to finish, with little in the way of a plot and so much thunderous noise and self-conscious 'scary stuff' that it never comes close to creating the quietly unsettling atmosphere needed to set up the viewer for a scare. The bargain-basement 3-D effects (a surprise considering CGI-fiend Andrew Lau's involvement) simply don't work on a DVD viewing (and providing only one pair of glasses is pretty cheap!) due to the poor colour balance. I will think twice before snapping up any more gimmicky films from bargain bins...

Before I start this review, I must admit that when I saw this movie, it was the wee hours of the morning and I was slightly intoxicated. Maybe my judgment was a little off, but I doubt it.

'The Park' is a silly 3D horror movie about a haunted amusement park, which just happened to be built on a cemetery. After several deaths at the park, it was closed down. 14 years later, a journalist investigating the park goes missing (naturally). His sister, Yen, is determined to find him, but their mother, a ghost hunter, believes him to be dead already. Regardless of her mother's professional advice, Yen sets out with a group of ghost fodder (her friends) in an attempt to find her brother.

Where to begin with this film's faults? There are so many. For starters, the plot is a mess. Unoriginal and full of plot holes. There is nothing close to horror in this. Sure, there are ghosts and other such dead people, but no scares. The 3D effects on which the film was based weren't all that impressive - or even 3D - on the VCD I watched. The dialog (in subtitles) was rather bad. All the characters seem to have a problem in which they felt the need to state the obvious, with everyone saying several times "There are ghosts!". I think they got the point after that was said for the billionth time.

I will give 'The Park' credit for two things though: More proof that clowns are evil, and the fact that we have very little (to no) character development. It's a great way to determine early on who will die, and who will survive.

After thinking about it, this seemed like it was meant to be campy B-movie. The (very blatant) references to 'Mr Vampire' and 'Nightmare on Elm Street' prove that, but it still felt like the movie was taking itself too seriously. Sure, I laughed at some bad B-movie moments, but those few moments were surrounded by a whole lot of just plain bad material.

1/10 - 'The Park' was very disappointing. Maybe I'll try watching it again sometime, but not any time soon.

Whoops I forgot my 3D glasses to experience those mind-popping images (where we are informed when to put them on or take them off), but I doubt that gimmick would have saved this already below-average, if bizarre supernatural/slasher tale from Hong Kong. It looks like it had a bit money behind it, but it feels second-rate when compared to others of its field and that ending is a complete wimp out.

At least it has going for it some stylish visual brushes by Wai-keung Lau's frenetic direction and an imposingly eerie setting (an abandoned theme park, which has some freaky looking clown dolls on a hanging tree) with some sensational art direction (like the opening entrance of the clown face). Too bad that it's senselessly penned with an messy same-old, same old structure (even though the concept showed more promise than your copy-and-paste 'Ringu' clone) of cheap jolts, typical thrills (that steals its thunder from other films) and lazily constructed characters. Even throughout it demonstrates some unwelcoming camp qualities, where the witless script and self-knowing humour just don't come off. It irritated, but not as much as the performances do. Bobo Chan in the lead role never convinces and her screaming/crying gave me a splitting headache.

Yen along with her friends are looking for her missing brother, despite the warning from her medium mother that he's dead. It leads them to an amusement park, which closed down over a decade ago after a horrible accident involving the death of a young girl. Instead of finding her brother they come across restless spirits who pick them off one by one.

The computer effects are well-done and never distracting, as there's one memorable decapitation sequence that's brilliantly executed and there's a little bit of blood 'n'gore in the traditional style. Sound effects hold an atmospheric grip, but those constant whooshing noises and whispering voices could've been toned down. The music score wasn't all that effective, even with some jaded cues.

Pretty much like a foreseeable, underwhelming haunted house theme park ride.

... And this film is good for only that. At an amuzement park a little girl falls from one of the attractions, and dies. This shots down the park, but some year later a boy goes out to the shut down amuzement park. Who he is, or why he really wants to go there, noone knows. He goes missing. Who takes him or why, noone knows. Then his annoying sister wakes up, and decides to go find him. Why noone knows, he´s been missing for quite some time. Who she is? Well she´s the sister ofcourse. She teams up with some friends, and from here on the movie steals from every single film, that the writer could think of. Small kids with dolls, themepark built on cemetary, DV cameras that can record what isn´t there, evil clowns, and a mutant and his son, who´s just basicly up to no good. Oh yeah. It even has a "Surprising ending".

What a piece of garbage. This and "Mutant Dog" must be the worst I´ve ever seen. 1 out of 10.

I have no idea why this movie is getting so many bad comments. The reviewers must have been expecting an actual "horror" movie - where you get scared and throw your popcorn around. I think the first clue that you shouldn't take this movie seriously is the fact that IT IS A 3-D HORROR MOVIE! I knew going in to the theater at Sundance Film Festival that it would be campy and satirical and silly. And it turns out it was exactly that.

I enjoyed it as a kind of homage to 80's B horror flicks in America. It had all the right ingredients:

teenagers

a deserted place (amusement park) that used to be fun but has been abandoned because BAD THINGS HAPPENED THERE

unrequited love (boy likes girl who likes other boy, 1st boy gets to "save" girl, making him wonderful and attractive)

group starts out on dangerous search to solve a mystery, couple splits from group to search alone (what will happen?!)

running/chasing scenes that involve tripping, falling down

etc, etc, etc

This is so Scooby Doo meets every horror film made from 1975 to 1989. Plus it's 3D!

I got exactly what I expected from this movie. It's dumb, it's silly, it's not really scary at all -- I had a great time.