- Huey Freeman: Vision? What do you know about my vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions, and send the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Now ask yourself, Are you ready to see that vision?
- Riley Freeman: Gangstalicious got shot!
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Again?
- Riley Freeman: We got to do something!
- Huey Freeman: I've got an idea! Why don't we go to college so we don't end up like Gangstalicious?
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Mr. Wuncler, I'm... sorry about the whole, you know, my grandson shooting your grandson out of the window thing. Are you mad?
- Ed Wuncler: In 30 years, that boy will be the President of the United States. And he'll still be a fucking idiot. Now, are we gonna have that drink or what?
- Huey Freeman: [while shooting at each other with BB guns] Why does it always have to end up like this?
- Riley Freeman: Cause you's a bitch.
- Ed Wuncler: The only joy I get from these parties is standing around telling mean-spirited jokes at other people's expense.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I do that, too!
- Ed Wuncler: Check out that guy. Why is his face all twisted up like that? Looks like he jacks off with Icy Hot. He looks like he just shit a gerbil!
- Huey Freeman: [after preventing an innocent convict from being executed] Maybe there are forces in this world we don't understand. But I still believe we make our own miracles. Shabazz K. Milton was not yet free. But for now, the mission had been accomplished. I decided to take the rest of the day off. I wonder if there's anything good on TV.