F.A.R.T. The Movie

I bought this movie years ago. I was about ten or twelve at the time. Pretty much a farting movie's target audience, right? After watching it, I can't imagine they had a target audience in mind. I've seen better movies filmed by high school students over a bored weekend. Poorly acted, poorly written, with no redeeming qualities. I can't believe I wasted ten bucks on this. Years later I did sell it at a garage sale and was more than happy to rid myself of the only movie more terrifying than the tape in The Ring. I can't believe the previous commenter liked anything about it. The plot is thin at best. A guy loves farting and his girlfriend. He has to choose one or the other because she hates farting. He has a series of dreams with different farting scenarios and situations. Each one somehow less funny than the previous one. I'd much rather sit in an empty room and stare at the wall because than I'd at least have my own thoughts to entertain myself with.

As he is about to take a bite of his sandwich, the film's smiling, blithe protagonist strides proudly by, and we hear a loud, fake, burbling fart.

Disgusted, the construction worker throws the sandwich aside and says, "I told her I hate day-old meatloaf!"

ELEVEN PEOPLE WROTE THIS MOVIE. ELEVEN PEOPLE WROTE THIS MOVIE AND I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THEM.

A person thought this is a good idea to make, another person thought this was a good idea to star in, a third person thought this was a good idea to own in his or her store, a fourth person thought this would be a nice thing to watch so they bought it. They watched it. And now they're thinking about their life choices. Don't buy it. Don't watch it. Don't do anything related to it.

I've you're picking up a flick called "F.A.R.T. The Movie" and are expecting anything other than cinema in its lowest form, then I don't know what to tell you. Personally, I like fart jokes and, if used sparingly and at the appropriate moment, a good fart gag can add the right amount of lowbrow humor to just about any kind of movie. Farts are innately funny. That said, there isn't a single laugh in this mess and I'm only giving this one two stars because they actually took the trouble to make a movie entirely dedicated to farting and, thus, filling some sort of void in the universe. Really corny stuff and the video and audio quality are garbage--especially the audio, as the mics weren't grounded properly in several scenes. Seriously, if it's a scene where there is no background noise, does it kill you to dub it with clean audio later? Lame.

Fart is not what it appears to be. To the uninitiated, it's crass. Juvenile. Even pointless. But beneath the surface-level absurdity lies a deeply layered critique of modern existence-one that uses the most primal, universally taboo subject to expose how absurd we've all become. Every poorly timed sound, every awkward silence, every grotesque moment is intentional. It's anti-aesthetic. Anti-structure. It dares you to feel discomfort, to confront your own embarrassment, to recognize the artificiality of "taste."

Most people won't get it-and that's the point. Fart isn't trying to please. It's trying to wake you up. If you know, you know.