The Black Ninja

OMG! This is by far the WORST movie ever made! The acting is horrible and the director "Me" (Clayton Prince aka Clayton Prince Tanksley) doesn't know anything about directing a movie. I've seen better footage by a 10-year old using his parents digital camera.

There's nothing good to say about this movie other then...it's over and I'll never watch it again! Clayton Prince does a lot of low-budget films which are indicative of his lack of acting abilities. The only thing he's famous for is ONE episode of "The Cosby Show" and we know how long that gig lasted. I also heard this guy is gay which would explain why he didn't mind playing a gay guy in yet another "B" movie that didn't go far. How many times does a film have to flop before he realizes he sucks in the movie industry on both sides of the camera? Hey, Clayton Prince, my dad is hiring in his warehouse. Can you drive a forklift? ROFL!!!

I'm not sure what this movie was intended to be. The video store claimed it was an action movie, but that was the worst part of the movie. The "Black Ninja" used the same move in every fight scene in which he somehow revolves around behind the villain and makes him shoot his own partner. That got old after awhile, but the thing that really wore me down was the constant quick replays. Every time something happened that was supposed to pack a punch, they replayed it 3 times and believe me, they could have cut that down by about 90%.

I guess I thought the whole movie, itself, was just cheesy. I knew this would be the case when the opening credits were rolling and it said the director was, I'm not kidding here, "Me". And my instincts didn't let me down. This was one of the cheesiest pieces of film I've ever seen. I believe the soundtrack consisted of just the one theme song, which takes cheese to a whole new level.

The acting was also pretty bad. I didn't buy Clayton Prince as a Johnnie Cochran type of lawyer. His dialogue, as was everyone else's was poorly written. I feel sorry for the Red Ninja, as he was even worse than the black one. He reminds me of the bad guys in Kung Pow: Enter The Fist. That voice of his was so stupid.

Overall, I'm being pretty hard on this movie. I've seen a lot of reviews saying it could have been done by a film student or themselves. It's not quite that bad. Look at Savage Roses and then tell me which is worse. It was bad, but not unwatchable. You just have to be in the mood for this sort of thing. It would be a good kid's movie. Nothing really objectable for kids in there, but if you're looking for something along the lines of American Ninja or even The Karate Kid, look somewhere else.

Scenario: My friend and I need a good film to laugh at and nothing makes you laugh harder than a cheesy title like the black ninja, with an over glorified blackguy in a ninja outfit on the cover.

Enter the movie: We pop this DVD in and imeadeatly cringe and behold our ears crying from the horrendus theme song sang by the star of the film (that crazy jamacian kid from the late Cosby show). Already we know that this going to be a laughable farce, but low and behold it is the worst film we have ever seen and that admission speaks volumes(I own Sniper 2 and Rollerball (the new one)) By the end of the film me and my compatriot where rolling on our sides because we had just laughed so much. The worst part the actors were trying to be serious. This is the worst film ever made. And should be revelled in that fact. Every one needs to see this film and feel better that they could make something better.

Was this amazing work of art shot on film? I wouldn't think so by looking at it, but at a couple of points I thought I could hear the whir of the camera, which you generally don't hear on video cameras. Wow I just didn't know what to say about this film. A previous poster wrote that it was better than a student film, I would beg to differ. I am a film student, and the lighting in this film can only be described as breath taking, and scary. And the abnormal use of the fishbowl lens had to have been out of necessity, not choice. I purchased it because I am writing a script for a low budget action flick, and I thought it would have had some helpful hints. I was wrong. Basically it taught me a thousand things I shouldn't do.

I'm a big fan of B-movies, and this one takes the cake for best B-movie of 2003. Shot on what I presume is video, as the film takes several different looks to the screen throughout, the film starts with the credits "written and directed by 'Me' ". Priceless. Who starts their film out like that? Clayton Prince does.

The plot is basically a ripoff of the Daredevil comic/movie. Malik Ali(Prince) is an "infamous lawyer" who defends criminals (who are guilty no less, makes no sense) then at night he fights the same criminals with his ninja abilities, which aren't too impressive. He uses the moniker Black Ninja to hide his identity, along with a batman style mask.

He ends up protecting a female witness who is standing trial against a crime boss, who for most of the movie, is getting massaged by two homely masseuses in bikinis. In the crime boss' employ are members of the WWW Wrestling federation, and you can tell they have no acting skills when it comes to their line delivery.

The action scenes aren't the worst I've seen but are funny enough to make them seem very poor. The Black Ninja uses the same moves throughout the movie, making it seem like a video game, and Prince decided it would be a good idea to do triple takes when something semi-impressive happens. These triple takes are some of the funniest parts of the movie. Plot holes abound throughout the movie, including a scene where the Black Ninja's identity is exposed to the woman he is protecting, and a love scene ensues, but there are dead bodies on the floor next to the bed that are not mentioned again, while they make love (which is only shown as kissing of her shoulders and cut to a post-coitus scene.

The main fight comes with the Red Ninja, who is in fact one of Malik's first cases, who ended up killing his family years prior to the fight. Acted by a japanese fellow with horrible English language skills, the Red Ninja is embarrassingly a formidable opponent for our likewise poor hero.

If you like bad movies and have run out of older ones from the 80's pick this one up, I found it at my local video store. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

Things I learned:

1.Anyone with a computer can get classified files on criminals.

2.Dead bodies seem to disappear when a sex scene comes up.

3.Wrestlers make poor villains,

4.Friends of the director shouldn't be cast as small parts because they laugh after something serious happens.

5.Pictures of loved ones last for more than 5 years of being left on a gravestone in open weather conditions.

6.Poor lighting makes leading actresses look like zombies.