- Donald Trump: Women, great job. As a little treat, you're gonna see the nicest apartment in New York City. It's my apartment. So you be up there, one o'clock at my apartment. Guys, they killed you. They really gave you a good beating. So you're not gonna be seeing my apartment.
- George Ross: David, if you were the team leader, do you think the result would have been different?
- David Gould: Not in this case, because sales is not my forte.
- Troy McClain: [on the helicopter around New York] It took me to the most beautiful woman in the world, aside from my wife: the Statue of Liberty.
- Donald Trump: Now, Sam, it seemed to be unanimous that - I really don't even think it's a lack of leadership -
- [Sam stands]
- Donald Trump: Sit down.
- Sam Solovey: Thank you, Mr. Trump.
- Donald Trump: [after the men have lost their third task in a row] I'm starting to think that I may never hire a man again.
- Donald Trump: I love you.
- George Steinbrenner: I love you too.
- Donald Trump: [later] You're a special guy.
- George Steinbrenner: You're a special guy.
- Tammy Lee: [to George Steinbrenner] You have some serious bling on your hands. What's going on there?
- Jessie Connors: [Jessie is giving Kristi advice and moral support] So I would just - that's the one thing that's gonna be hard
- [suddenly distracted by a pigeon]
- Jessie Connors: - it's a bird!
- Kristi Frank: Actually, it's funny, because that's the lesson I've been trying to learn this whole time. But, um, it's basically the concept of...
- Jessie Connors: That bird is funny. What is that, a pigeon?
- Kristi Frank: That is a pigeon.
- Donald Trump: You have your finance person and you have your team leader, and the money somewhere disappeared between the hand and the ass. Right?
- Robin Himmler: Hi, this is Robin from Mr. Trump's office. Mr. Trump would like you to meet him at Wollman Rink in 45 minutes.
- Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth: Thanks, Helen. Bye-bye.
- Tammy Lee: I'd like an exotic trip for four with you and Joy and maybe another couple, and then if they can...
- Regis Philbin: Now let me get this straight: I gotta go to the far ends of the earth?
- Tammy Lee: Two nights, then!
- Regis Philbin: But where are we going for two nights?
- Tammy Lee: Your favorite destination! You and a guest will go with Joy and Phil - uh, Regis...
- Regis Philbin: Who's Phil? Is Phil Donahue coming with us?
- Carolyn Kepcher: Isaac's last name?
- Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth: Mizrahi.
- Carolyn Kepcher: Yes. I see you learned that a little too late.
- Donald Trump: It's a little bit like: watch somebody sell their used car and not wash it. You can spend $10 washing the car and get another $200 for the car. And I've seen guys, they're selling cars that are dirty, and I say, "That guy is a loser."
- Katrina Campins: Nobody has ever duped me.
- Donald Trump: You've never, ever been duped?
- Katrina Campins: Nope... and I'm not gonna give him credit for it.
- Donald Trump: I have. I've been duped... I've been duped many times. Everyone's duped. You've been duped also.
- Tammy Lee: [who is on Katrina's team] I think we got duped, to be honest.
- Bill Rancic: [also on Katrina's team] Thanks, Tammy.
- Katrina Campins: ...I am the one that secured a general contractor to do our work! Me! Me! In fact, I have a business plan. Would you like to see it?
- [thrusts plan at Carolyn]
- Carolyn Kepcher: [dismissively] No.
- Nick Warnock: [attempting to sell Trump Ice] Um, it's bottled thousands of miles away from civilization, up in the...
- Nightclub Owner: Okay, this is a nightclub. It's not rocket science. It's just water.
- Bill Rancic: ...Nick's a guy who oftentimes will jump out of the plane without learning how to operate the parachute.
- Donald Trump: [Loud construction sounds are heard. Trump addresses people off-camera] You know, there's huge hammering going on outside, folks. And you really have to get it stopped. Downstairs at Asprey. Just tell them to stop. It's good. That's a new tenant... but in the meantime, we'll stop them from building.
- Donald Trump: Katrina, go back to the suite. Your girlfriend Ereka gave you a break... Enjoy your evening, there's no place like Trump Tower.
- George Ross: For someone who is supposed to be such a successful salesman, Nick had absolutely no rapport with any of his customers.
- Ereka Vetrini: The only reason why Katrina's gone...
- Donald Trump: You like her 'cause she's your girlfriend?
- Ereka Vetrini: No, no no no... if she had taken more of a leadership role, I would've put her in that hot seat. She wasn't the one taking the leadership role.
- Carolyn Kepcher: I think that's an excuse.
- Donald Trump: Wait a minute. You're saying because she didn't take a leadership role, she's gone, and she's now in this beautiful suite overlooking the world?
- Kwame Jackson: [Both imitating Omarosa] "My head. I wanna eat."
- Troy McClain: "Dude, it's my head, and if I don't get some catered service pretty quick, I'm callin' the President."
- Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth: Essentially, um, we introduced her to a piece called "The Hollowed Pussy".
- Meghan Boody (artist): I actually photographed this at a taxidermist studio in Paris. It's not quite clear if this is an undead kitty or not.
- Donald Trump: You got hit in the head with a little piece of plaster that - by the way, all my life I've been hit on the head with plaster - Omarosa, I mean, you know, give me a break.
- Donald Trump: Omarosa, go out and sell paintings or whatever the hell you're doing. I don't like excuses.
- Heidi Bressler: [Trying to sell Pedicab rides] People need to have more sex, because everyone is just so miserable!
- Troy McClain: We were lookin' up the ass of a dead dog with fleas if we thought we were gonna go up against them.
- Donald Trump: [Carolyn has just criticized Heidi] Is that woman on woman? That's tough stuff, right?
- Heidi Bressler: You're entitled to your opinion...
- Carolyn Kepcher: Of course I am, but it's obviously our opinion that matters.
- Donald Trump: [after firing Heidi] That was good, right?
- Carolyn Kepcher: Yeah...
- George Ross: I loved it!
- Donald Trump: All right.
- Donald Trump: [to Nick] You think you and Amy might someday live in a place like that together, as man and wife?
- Amelia Henry: I told him he'd better start selling lots of copiers!
- Charles Reiss: Amy kind of reminded me of a Stepford wife.
- Donald Trump: [on Jessica Simpson] Did you think Jessica was very beautiful?
- Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth: She's a pretty girl.
- Donald Trump: Pretty, or beautiful? I thought she was beautiful...
- George Ross: She's beautiful. Come on!
- [Everyone bursts into laughter]
- George Ross: A beautiful girl! We can all agree on that.
- Donald Trump: George, I'm not asking you! What the hell do I have to hear about you for? I don't need to hear your answers!