The Keeper

The only reason to watch this badly written movie would be if you were a fan of either Helen Shaver (a great actress) or the legendary Dennis Hopper. If you desire to see these two together in a film, choose 'The Ostetrman Weekend', which is by far the better film. The basic story line is the prisoner wanting to escape the jailer. (similer to the much better 'Misery')

Without going into too much detail so as not to spoil the plot (well, what plot there is), lets just say this is best avoided. There are millions of films out there to spend 90 minutes on, don't make it this one.

So here's an example of a movie that's easy to dislike, since it shamelessly rips off "Lady in a cage" and "The Collector", was done on a shoe-string budget with five to six cameras running during one scene and it has Lochlyn Munro in it. It's got all the creative looks of your typical movie-of-the-week and Asia Argento may be one of the prettiest faces, but her acting abilities are zip to zero. Nevertheless I have seen much worse. The Keeper is done fairly tongue-in-cheek with quite a wry, witty sense of humor and Helen Shaver is in fine form giving a performance so hammy she 's entering Vincent-Price-terrain. And Hopper doing his Hopper-routine is always more entertaining than watching any of those lame-assed method actors. O.K. for the price of an overnight rental, but you won't write home about it. 4/10

Keeper, The (2004)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Lifeless thriller about a deranged cop (Dennis Hopper) who kidnaps a stripper (Asia Argento) and holds her hostage so that he can teach her how to be good. You'd think having Hopper play a nut and Argento a stripper that some magic would surface but that's not the case as this thriller lacks any suspense and instead enters the "so bad it's mildly entertaining" level. The badness of the screenplay and dialogue allows for plenty of unintentional laughs. Both Hopper and Argento are good in their roles but I really wish the screenplay had done more with their talents. The direction is pretty bad so this here is for fans of the actors only.

The beginning of this movie really annoyed me. Asia Argento performs in a strip club, takes a shower, and nearly gets raped, all without actually having a nude scene! Don't get me wrong--even low-budget potboilers like this don't necessarily need nude scenes to be good, but it's annoying when a movie relentlessly teases the viewer with the promise of nudity but doesn't deliver (besides, it's not like Argento exactly has the pristine image of that other stripper-who-doesn't-strip, Natalie Portman--she's done nude scenes in movies directed by her FATHER, and supposedly had unsimulated sex on screen in her own directorial effort "Scarlet Diva").

After the beginning though this movie wasn't THAT bad. For once, we have a movie with a believable stalker in Dennis Hopper. It's really stupid how in Hollywood movies stalkers always seem to be young, beautiful women (Erica Christensen, Rebecca DeMornay, Alicia Silverstone, ad infinitum), the people who in real life are much more likely to be the ones being stalked. And Hopper's performance as "Deputy Rock" is uncharacteristically subdued and psychologically nuanced. He isn't primarily interested in Argento for sex (although that element is there), but keeps her in a cage in what he views as an effort to protect her. He really is the straight-arrow cop he appears to be, just to a completely psychotic extent. I also liked Lochlyn Munro as the good guy cop and Helen Shaver as the woman producing an anti-drug show with Deputy Rock (who turns out to be just as crazy as he is). Which brings us back to Argento, who is probably the weakest link here, but she's certainly not awful. It's refreshing, for instance, that while she eventually fights back, she doesn't completely turn into the butt-kicking babe dispatching the villain with a stupid one-liner (a stereotype every bit as annoying as the old-fashioned "damsel in distress"--and even more unrealistic). Her character obviously feels morally compromised as a stripper and rape victim even before she's taken prisoner, and she has to overcome this as well as her captor. Argento can believably play a morally compromised character better than most big-name American actresses, so she's well suited for the role at least (even if she never does get around to actually taking her clothes off).

This is a tough one to vote for. There are many flaws: the story is very thin, the psychology of childhood sufferings that create a personality like Hopper's is so basal it's embarrassing, the cheap coincidences (like the heli flying around while Gina escapes for the first time and the colleague driving his car to the right place while the kidnapping is at its deadly conclusion). And the editing, what an awful job they did...

The good thing about this movie is the acting. Hopper always maintains a fair level, no matter how crappy a movie is. But the real star is Argento, she alone makes you wanna watch the developments unfold. Her portrayal of a caged being that is frustrated, adapting and always on the watch is very fascinating and makes you (well, me) take for granted all aforementioned weaknesses.