Teacher's Pet

"A nice surprise" is probably how I would best describe this animated film. The artwork on the cover makes it look as if it was made for four-year-old audiences but it is hardly that. It is very funny with so many gags I lost count. Those gags are both audio and visual.

Nathan Lane's New York City accent was funny as he voiced the lead character, "Spot," the dog who wanted to be changed into a little boy. Actually, all the characters are pretty funny and the songs aren't bad, either. I am not usually a fan of these kids' musicals but the songs were short and the lyrics were humorous. And - I didn't really view this as a kids movie since the vocabulary and the jokes were geared (in a non-offensive way) more toward adults.

I understand some parents, in fact, were upset at this movie for that very reason - the jokes go over the heads of most kids in here. Also, the references are not something kids would know. For an adult, this was a clever and big surprise. I would rent this, however, before considering buying it. On my second viewing, maybe it wasn't a surprise anymore, I found it only so-so for some strange reason.

This movie was hard to watch, and gave me a stomach ache. The fast moving visuals & dialogue, combined with the over the top eccentricity of plot line, made me glad for only one thing: that it was a short film.

Timothy Björklund gives us a complete box-office flop of a Disney movie.

Our story follows Spot the dog on his adventure to become a boy. This time, in feature-length form, he travels to California to visit the sane (he swears) Dr. Ivan Krank, who says he can turn any animal human.

Nathan Lane plays Spot Helperman or Scott Leadready II when he dresses up like a boy. I love Nathan Lane's voice acting, he was great in the Lion King, and is great in this, no complaints.

Shaun Flemming plays Leonard Amadeus Helperman, Spot's owner and best friend. His voice acting is done well enough, not as great as Nathan Lane's, but nothing terrible.

Kelsey Grammar plays the SANE Dr. Ivan Krank, a scientist who has developed a very inept way of transforming animals to humans. Kelsey Grammar has fine voice acting, probably from his experience as Sideshow Bob on the hit series The Simpsons.

I have no complaints about this movie, it was well crafted, pretty well drawn, and I don't see why it wasn't a hit. Two big things kind of bothered me though, for one I hate Debra Jo Rupp's voice, I find her annoying! Second, the way the animators drew people kind of make them look creepy.

The term "family film" really gets me angry. Why? Because for every film that is out there that is good enough to be for the entire family, there are at least 50 others that are not only wasting their parent's time, but they are not respecting their intended audience. Disney's new animated film TEACHER'S PET is both patronizing and extremely sloppy.

Spot Helperman(Voiced by Nathan Lane, The Lion King) is a dog who longs to be a real boy. He dresses up like a little boy and goes to school with his master Leonard (Shaun Fleming, Jeepers Creepers 2), and for some odd reason Leonard's mother (Debra Joy Rupp, TV's That 70's Show) is their teacher. When Leonard's mother wins a trip to Florida, Leonard longs to have fun on the beach with his dog. Spot wants to go to Florida to meet a wacko doctor (Kelsey Grammer) who can turn animals into humans.

As I sat through this supposed "musical comedy" I asked myself, Why? Who in their right mind said this film was worthy enough to make? Who said "hey the script is ready, let's make this movie?" The simple answer is money. But let's be honest, this turkey is not going to make any money. This is not the film that is going to be locked in the Disney Vault for ten years, to be released with much fanfare.

This is a shoddy movie that aspires to be HEY ARNOLD, THE MOVIE. Its script is not technically a story, it is bad jokes designed to stretch running time. TEACHER'S PET is a 15 minute animated short with over an hour of bad jokes designed to stretch the running time.

Most would probably say, "why are you being so hard on this movie? It's designed for little kids not a 24 year old male." I say if you are going to spend large amounts of money on a film and you expect parents to bring their little tykes, and you create a film that makes even a toddler bored, I cannot go easy on it.

This film has no charm. The jokes are too abrasive, and there are far too many things going on. It also features this really odd subplot involving Spot and Leonard's mother that made me feel really, really uncomfortable. Its inclusion was both unnecessary and hard to explain without making it sound sicker than it really is.

Finally I muse about the PG rating for this film. Why? It will play well only to four or five year olds. When I think of a PG movie I think of kids between 8-10. Why create a film geared at toddlers and market it to seven-year olds? You got me. I don't know why this film is PG. It contains no bad language, no sex, and no real violence. It's not even scary. If anyone can figure this out, I will give you a hearty handshake.

If you are looking to waste a child's time, stay at home and rent ET. They'll love it. TEACHER'S PET on the other hand is a vapid mess. If you want my advice, instead of dropping forty bucks to take the brood to see this film, spend that money on a really big cardboard box. Your kids will have far more fun with that.

If you like your animation over-the-top and the jokes at a breakneck pace, then this one's for you. Nathan Lane does a great job as Spot the dog who wants to be a boy, along with fellow voices Kelsey Grammar, Paul Ruebens and Jerry Stiller.

The animation is unusual (imagine the drawings on the board game Cranium coming to life), but a nice break from the perfect Pixar flicks. The songs leave something to be desired, but most are brief and then its back to the jokes.

A nice alternative to the standard Disney output: 7 out of 10.