Belly of the Beast

Even though Steven Seagal has made movies who are much worse than this, this is still far from being his best work. I wonder if the whole movie was made just for self-ironical reasons (remember, Seagal fortunately has a lot of self-irony). The main problem is that Seagal is too fat too be a real action-star right now. Some of the fights in this movie still are pretty cool, but there are just something that isn't there. Maybe it's because some of the fights are so overdone so that everyone know that it isn't Mr.Seagal doing most of it anyway? The worst part about the fighting is the roundhouse kicks. Even though they're rather cool, they're as far from the typical Seagal fighting style that it's possible to be. And you never see Steven's face when these are performed..........................

The story is standard, but that's totally OK. No one cares too much about that anyway in a movie like this. This is in fact one of Seagal's best movies after "Exit Wounds". That doesn't mean that this one is any good, because some of the others are pure garbage.

Steven Seagal movies exist in a pop culture vacuum. They cannot be judged against any other films in existence. They're such an acquired taste that to compare them to movies with other actors is almost pointless. In a sense, Seagal movies are very nearly critic-proof. What can I do, complain that Ticker just wasn't on the same level as Jaws?

Anyway, if you've seen pretty much any other direct-to-video Seagal venture lately, you know exactly what this one is all about- a distant and emotionless man with a shady history must take the law into his own hands and rescue/avenge his wife/daughter/Neopet. The movie is virtually indistinguishable from others he's released in the last few years.

Honestly, if you played this film alongside The Foreigner and Out For a Kill, you'd have one hell of a time telling them apart. All of the usual elements are there: bad acting/dialog, distracting music, and annoying editing. Jesus, the editing... has the slow-bullet effect been exhausted yet? Has anyone NOT used this in a movie? It's only used once or twice in Belly of the Beast, but it's played out to a ridiculous point. I'm still waiting for the day when technology will have advanced far enough to enable Seagal to smile or even laugh with the help of CGI.

You already know if you'll like this movie or not, unless in the case that you haven't seen a Seagal movie. If this is true for you, go and find Out for Justice, Above the Law, or Marked for Death. Any of these are far preferable to this monumental waste of time.

First things first, I love the classic Seagal movies. I own every one on DVD from Above the Law to Exit Wounds. Since then, Seagal hasn't made one good film. I couldn't believe that his output had gotten so bad, so I was researching his stv output on IMDb and trying to see which one was the best of the trash pile. Lots of hardcore Seagal fans seemed to like this one, so I rented it. What a forgettable mess. There are little glimmers of hope here and there, but overall this is garbage. If this is good compared to his other films of the past four years, he's really in trouble. The only other STV Seagal films I've seen are "The Patriot": not bad but boring, and "The Foreigner": terrible. Steven, what's up man? Instead of making 10 bad movies a year, make one good one. And, I'm sorry man, but lose some weight, too.

From the director of Chinese Ghost Story and Naked Weapon (and collaborator in the action scenes from Hero and House of the Flying Daggers), we have a story about an ex-CIA agent who's daughter is kidnapped. Its not just any ex-CIA agent, but Steven Seagal. Yes !! Pony-tail is back, BACK WITH A VENGEANCE. (Sorry, I had to do that).

This is your typical action movie, usually based on some revenge/honor theme, where the hero has to take out dozens to hundreds of henchman and usually a "Boss" character, or several. The acting is atrocious and all we are left with is the action (and a lot of wire-work). Steven brought his typical dead-pan/Prozac acting along. This movie is not going to be on anybody's Christmas list, however, it is hysterical and very very light. I was laughing the whole way through the movie.

Steven Seagal is looking to do some major butt-kicking. Unfortunately, most of the serious butt-kicking is done by a much younger, thinner man (the stunt guy is actually wearing fake fat to look like Steven), who has a lot more physical talent than Steven had in his prime. This is further compounded by the fact that the stunt man performs stunts that Steven could never perform (jump kicks, jump spin kick, and all other stunts involving jumping high).

The movie seems to have been filmed entirely in Bangkok, Thailand and recruited what seems to be the entire cast of Onk Bak, minus Tony Jaa. The wheelchair boss and Don the drug dealer stand out in my mind.

There are somethings about the movie that bother me. Steven (who is the star of the movie) looks like he just woke up in Bangkok after weeks of binging on milkshakes and vodka, with no money and no change of clothes. He looks dirty and grimy. I wouldn't sit next to him on the subway if he looked like that. Next, what was up with the Steven's gun? He seemed to have a magic weapon. This weapon fires anywhere from 30-50 bullets and rarely needs another clip. Also Steven has become such a big star, he no longer needs to aim his weapon. He just fires in the general direction of his target. Steven's sex scene was certainly interesting. It made me quite nauseous. Shoving toothpicks under my fingernails is pleasurable as compared to watching Steven has sex. The cinematography was quite strange. I didn't realize the same guy who did certain Outer Limit and Star Trek episodes was still alive (tilt the camera 45 degrees). The wire action becomes ridiculous, especially when you are trying to make a somewhat realistic action movie (imagine what one would think if Tony Jaa jumped 10 feet straight in the air and did 2 full revolutions). I also like the variation on Thai boxing : Thai Transvestite Claws and High Heels Boxing. Not only that, what was the deal with all the mystical crap introduced 10 minutes before the end of the movie, complete with with a Thai Mako impersonator who had taken too much PCP ??

One may think from my review that I hated this movie. This is not true. This is the funniest movie I've seen since Shaun of the Dead, unfortunately that movie was trying to be funny. I do recommend this movie as a rental,a discount-bin purchase, or a late night cable session while completely wasted.

-Celluloid Rehab

Continuing my plan to watch every Steven Seagal movie, I come to Belly Of The Beast (2003)

On a whole, it is actually a whole lot better than you'd expect. The plot is a bit confusing, there are some huge plot holes and the wore work is more than a tad silly at times.

This is the first time is Seagal looks bloated, and his close ups are mostly framed to cut out his chin and hairline

But he still looks like he can kick ass. His wardrobe is on the ridiculous side again but he does seem like he still cares (I think it was Evan who said it previously) even if he uses stunt doubles and is dubbed at times.

I didn't like how the right scenes were shot (especially nor the one in the market) clearly not Seagal doing most of it.

I really like the Buddhist monk who was Seagal's friend. He was awesome, a great sidekick for Seagal. I didn't like the ending for his character at all.

Director Siu-Tung Ching filmed most of the action scenes without the involvement of Seagal, opting to film his shots last, but conflict arose when Seagal insisted on filming his shots in a way that wouldn't accommodate the existing footage. Ching is said to have left the set, taking his stunt crew with him and welcoming Seagal to finish the scene by himself. This infuriated the producers, who convinced Seagal to go along with Ching's approach.

All in all, ridiculous and totally implausible, but a watchable dtv flick.