Belly of the Beast

First things first, I love the classic Seagal movies. I own every one on DVD from Above the Law to Exit Wounds. Since then, Seagal hasn't made one good film. I couldn't believe that his output had gotten so bad, so I was researching his stv output on IMDb and trying to see which one was the best of the trash pile. Lots of hardcore Seagal fans seemed to like this one, so I rented it. What a forgettable mess. There are little glimmers of hope here and there, but overall this is garbage. If this is good compared to his other films of the past four years, he's really in trouble. The only other STV Seagal films I've seen are "The Patriot": not bad but boring, and "The Foreigner": terrible. Steven, what's up man? Instead of making 10 bad movies a year, make one good one. And, I'm sorry man, but lose some weight, too.

Steven Seagal movies exist in a pop culture vacuum. They cannot be judged against any other films in existence. They're such an acquired taste that to compare them to movies with other actors is almost pointless. In a sense, Seagal movies are very nearly critic-proof. What can I do, complain that Ticker just wasn't on the same level as Jaws?

Anyway, if you've seen pretty much any other direct-to-video Seagal venture lately, you know exactly what this one is all about- a distant and emotionless man with a shady history must take the law into his own hands and rescue/avenge his wife/daughter/Neopet. The movie is virtually indistinguishable from others he's released in the last few years.

Honestly, if you played this film alongside The Foreigner and Out For a Kill, you'd have one hell of a time telling them apart. All of the usual elements are there: bad acting/dialog, distracting music, and annoying editing. Jesus, the editing... has the slow-bullet effect been exhausted yet? Has anyone NOT used this in a movie? It's only used once or twice in Belly of the Beast, but it's played out to a ridiculous point. I'm still waiting for the day when technology will have advanced far enough to enable Seagal to smile or even laugh with the help of CGI.

You already know if you'll like this movie or not, unless in the case that you haven't seen a Seagal movie. If this is true for you, go and find Out for Justice, Above the Law, or Marked for Death. Any of these are far preferable to this monumental waste of time.

Even though Steven Seagal has made movies who are much worse than this, this is still far from being his best work. I wonder if the whole movie was made just for self-ironical reasons (remember, Seagal fortunately has a lot of self-irony). The main problem is that Seagal is too fat too be a real action-star right now. Some of the fights in this movie still are pretty cool, but there are just something that isn't there. Maybe it's because some of the fights are so overdone so that everyone know that it isn't Mr.Seagal doing most of it anyway? The worst part about the fighting is the roundhouse kicks. Even though they're rather cool, they're as far from the typical Seagal fighting style that it's possible to be. And you never see Steven's face when these are performed..........................

The story is standard, but that's totally OK. No one cares too much about that anyway in a movie like this. This is in fact one of Seagal's best movies after "Exit Wounds". That doesn't mean that this one is any good, because some of the others are pure garbage.

Whether it was blind ego or genuine good humour on Seagal's part that allowed this title to be attached to the barrel-shaped action star's latest film, we may never know, as I can't see any interviewers being willing to ask. It's even possible that he came up with it himself, as he's given a writing credit. Though to be honest, a cinematography, direction or casting credit would have been more impressive, as the 'plot' is by far the most hopeless thing about this otherwise surprisingly polished but cliche-ridden corpse-fest.

Then again, it's the script's occasional flashes of sheer madness that make it worth watching. From the random tomato/fish/cleaver death scene early on to the head-spinning ladyboy fight and descent into voodoo lunacy during the climax, it keeps you on your toes, at least. Never seems to bother Seagal, though, whose single expression (constipation) remains fixed in place whether he's frantically fending off gangs of swordsmen with his bare hands, displaying primal fatherly angst over the inevitable kidnapping of his daughter or getting frisky with a hero-worshipping Thai girl less than half his age. Yes, you read that right, and yes, you will feel personally violated when it happens.

The other redeeming feature of the film - apart from the unusually high quality of the direction and camerawork, which gets full mileage out of what must have been a pretty limp budget - is the use of body doubles, which is some of the most blatant ever committed to film and all the more entertaining for it. Seagal *does* actually get more action in this film than in his last three or four combined, but it's still hilarious when he suddenly breaks off from his usual shot-from-the-shoulders-up slappy-hand business to launch into an impromptu flying spin kick, shedding about a third of his body weight in the process.

As long as you're not expecting gritty realism, you'll probably enjoy this as much as any other DTV kickathon on the shelves at the moment, and certainly more than the last couple of brain cell killers that Seagal's put out. Unfortunately Seagal himself is more visibly the weak link in the chain than ever before, with his action chops paling in comparison to those of both his co-star and main adversary, and his acting chops paling in comparison to his fridge. The sight of Thailand's entire criminal underworld taking turns to fly thirty feet through the air and crash into an exploding crate would be far more entertaining if it wasn't an overweight man in his fifties dishing out the damage, especially one who still refuses to take a single scratch in return. Still, one thing you have to give him credit for is not teaming up with any poxy rappers in this one.

Jake Hopper is ex-CIA who retired from the job after a bad shooting incident, although he still does work on the side for an old Agency buddy. When his daughter is kidnapped along with her friend (a Senator's daughter) while on a backpacking holiday in the far east, Jake's contact tells him. With official channels working to get the girls' back, Jake joins up with his old partner and begins trawling the underworld looking for the gang that has his girl.

Despite getting consistently burnt, I keep on coming back to Steven Seagal films - I can't help it. I always go to the video store (for that is where Seagal now resides) looking for something to veg out in front of that will entertain me without challenging or stimulating me; it is a sad condemnation of Seagal films that they rarely manage to do even that most basic of requests. However, in some regards, Belly of the Beast is actually a reasonable film. The plot is pretty standard and relies on nonsense to move it forwards - stuck with no clues, a girl approaches Jake with a mystery tattoo on her naked chest that only appears when she gets wet! Talk about an excuse for nudity! This sort of plot device is over used; too often the film has things just happen for a way of moving the plot forward.

The plot is poorly developed and it also has elements that just seem to have been thrown in in order to fulfil the formula. The love interest is one good example of an element that is silly and simply doesn't work. What does work is the action. For once in recent Seagal films, the fight scenes are actually pretty enjoyable even if they do overdo the slowmo effects. Seagal himself is quite effective; despite his weight gain he manages to move quite well here - even if most of it involves upper body work rather than full motion.

As an actor though, Seagal is about as bad as ever: his emotional range is rubbish, as seen in his reaction when told his daughter has been kidnapped (`you don't say' he blankly emotes!). He even is blank when kissing the gorgeous Lo - so what hope is there for him? Having said that, the worst moment in the film is one that is another actor's fault. In one scene Seagal is dubbed by an actor who sounds nothing like him - it is a laughable moment and a sad comment on the effort Seagal is putting into his films now (unable or unwilling to show up for ADR). Luckily for him, his support cast is OK. Mann's sidekick is good and Wu makes for a decent bad guy despite having very low screen time. Monica Lo is very beautiful and sexy - just a shame that her scenes where she gradually falls for Seagal make more for laughter than passion! Even these few good performances are still pretty basic though and the standard is no better than Seagal's usual stuff.

Overall, if you watch Seagal films a lot, then this will probably be better than you are used to, despite not actually being that good a film. The acting, script and plotting are as poor as you would expect but it is in the action stakes where this film improves upon his recent efforts. Understand that this is still not saying a great deal in my opinion but it still makes the film a lot better to have well choreographed and quite exciting fight scenes. If you have to watch a recent Seagal film, then this is probably the one to pick.