Ham & Cheese

This movie came out at blockbuster across the street from me like a week ago and Wednesday night I saw it in the used bin for $6.99. I never heard of it but it had Dave Foley and Scott Thompson in it so I thought I would give it a try. I asked the guy behind the counter why it was for sale so quickly and he said they've only been renting one copy per night at most anyway. Still I bought it to see Dave Foley and Scott Thompson and besides Blockbuster has a special right now for 2 movies for $12 and I was already buying "Rise of the Phoenix".

It was a mistake, I should have listened to the employee. Especially when the employee at Blockbuster admits a movie is really bad, that must mean the movie is REALLY bad, and it was. I should have listened to the voice in my head saying "turn this movie off, it's horrible and won't get better" but I didn't. Dave Foley and Scott Thompson were both all right, but the movie's plot was pretty bad and none of the other characters were very good, especially the two leads and most especially the fat one. This might be the worst movie I've ever seen. If you watch it, wait until it's on T.V. for free.

2/10 (I have to give KITH members at least one point each!)

This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Who are all of these people that are leaving the comments that say how good they think this movie is? There is no way anybody except somebody who is in this movie or there families can with a straight face say this movie is funny at all. It looks like it was shot on a high school video yearbook camcorder and the dialog is so bad it is like it was written by a bunch of fifth graders while they were skipping English class. I am sick and tired of these awful Canadian movies that make other Canadian movies look bad. How do they even get made? It's like the government will give money and film rights to anybody who can make a movie for less than $500. If you want to see a good Canadian comedy I recommend you go see something like Phil the Alien. One of the guys in this movie is also in Phil the Alien. I don't blame the people in this movie for it being so bad. It is just an awful script and bad directing. In my opinion this video is not even worth watching for free on TV let alone renting. Avoid at all costs!

I bought this movie for 2.99 at Blockbuster thinking there is no way I will regret it because it costs less than renting a movie and it has Dave Foley and Scott Thompson of The Kids In The Hall in it.

Don't be fooled because Foley and Thompson are both in it for about a minute each. I bet they wish they didn't even do that much in it because the movie is terrible.

The worst part is the guy who plays the chubby mentally challenged guy who wants to be an actor..... the other guy in the movie also plays a stupid guy who wants to be an actor but the chubby one wins the award for worst acting ever. Sitting for an hour and a half while a guy pretends to be brain damaged so badly that he must be brain damaged in real life is not my idea of a good time. I still don't know how I managed to watch the movie all the way to the end.

Here is a typical scene the chubby stupid guy would do. "Hey chubby stupid guy I am directing this play." "Duh ...... okay." "Do you know how to act?" "Duh ..... yeah sure. I can act." "Okay then read this page." "Duh .... what's acting? Duh I'm stupid. Remember how I was stupid and didn't understand things an hour ago? Well it is still exactly the same now. You're not getting bored of this yet are you?" The other guy at least gets a smile if not a laugh for the Scott Thompson scene. Thompson's reactions to his awful acting where he does everything wrong he possibly could are very funny and he ends up attacking the guy, but like I said this is just like one minute in a whole hour and a half film.

The other characters are blah blah blah. Samantha Bee from the Daily show is in it and not bad but only in a few scenes, it would help if there were more with her or especially with Foley and Thompson. Foley was okay but his scenes were with the Chubby guy so they were ruined by his brain damaged act. An actual scene with Foley goes, the chubby guy reads a bad scene and Foley is an acting teacher, "How was that read?" "It was terrible, you should quit etc etc", "Duh...... so should I read it again?" IF that sounds annoying you are right. This movie is annoying and pretty much nothing happens in it. Two bad actors want to make it big and neither of them make it. That's the whole story so why an hour and a half? Good question I don't know either.

I recommend that you skip this movie if you want to see a good comedy or a good drama or a good anything really. I completely disagree with all of the other comments that are posted here in the review section. When I saw this film in Toronto at the rep theater I know that we were not alone in not liking this film one bit. A couple people even walked out about three quarters threw. I recognized a lot of talented people in this movie but the material they have to work with was obviously not thought out very well and there are plot holes you can drive a truck through like the big one being why are these two hacks acting like they are and how on earth do they think they will succeed? What are they even trying to do? Samantha Bee is in this film and fans of the Daily Show will recognize her but her part is very small. Lots of recognizable people in it but they are unfortunately all in small roles. Or maybe it is fortunate because if they are in big roles with such bad material it would make their image less to me. The two actors playing the leads in the film (2 guys who are trying to make it big and become stars) aren't big names or anything and I was not impressed but we should give them credit or O should say not blame them too much because they did not have good material to work with, like I said before. The big problems I think were the direction and most of all the script which seems like it was written in a few hours by drunken high school drama class who thought it would be fun to make a movie. I was literally squirming in my seat by the end of this one to get out of there but did not walk out I have never walked out of a movie but this one was close. Don't waste your time on this movie you will regret it. Trust me. Or if you do watch it in the first five or ten minutes and see how bad it is go ahead and turn it off because trust me it does not get better that's what I was hoping for.

To put this film in perspective you must understand this about Canadian film: stories like this don't get made here. Stories about sex with the dead or badly maimed? Sure. Stories about allegedly charming Maritimers? Definitely. Stories about sex with allegedly charming dead Maritimers? Well, not yet, but just wait. Which is to say that although this country churns out more than its fair share of world-class comedians such as Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, Martin Short and the late John Candy, we don't make movies that showcase this talent. So Ham & Cheese gets full marks for attempting something so bold as a mockumentary in a land where government-funded agencies favour creepy. That said, thinking back on some of the scenes in H & C, there's plenty of creepy here. Such as the scenes in which Mike Beaver's character joins a fringe festival acting troupe, which includes a cancer patient, a silent fat guy and the omnisexual leader. Seriously whacked out stuff — having sex with the earth? I would argue Beaver's story and performance, though the guy has that lovable lug thing going, is the weaker of the two, falling back on Waiting for Guffman-like parody. Beaver's choice to play the guy as a Lennyesque retard backfires, the character is more pathetic than funny. On the other hand, Jason Jones should be coming to a American theatre soon. He's that good. His performance seems to fit between old Harry Shearer SNL skits and Steve Carell in Anchorman. There are a few scenes — the one in which he auditions for a mattress ad using an Aussie accent and the one in which he plays an extra on a cop drama — are particularly memorable. They also seem to bring out the best film-making — the director edits them to maximum effect, and finds a happy medium between funny and sad. Kudos also to the filmmakers for paying attention to detail. At the beginning of Mike Beaver's story there is a shot of a poorly punctuated wooden lawn sign that is indicative of the culture of small-city Ontario — The Wolanski's. Perfect. The picture also transcends its genre and has something to say about the acting craft and show business, and what it has to say is ppppmph!