Bikini Party Massacre

First of all...whoever the user *Donald* is, get a life.

This guy must be a cast or crew member... He has posted at least 4 reviews, saying that it's great fun & just as good as "Halloween". I hope this fool is getting paid enough. I won't even go into detail about the film...it sucks!

Horrible acting... Horrible SFX... It's awful! Stay away!!!!

As all horror fans should, I make it a point to see the good with the bad. This makes me appreciate the good so much more. Besides, sometimes bad is good. Take the hilarious Troma camp "Redneck Zombies". A shining example of how bad can be good. Thoroughly entertaining. But this film, retitled 'Massacre' for its DVD release, is just bad.

We start our story with six twenty-somethings on a road trip. As the trip gets longer the passengers inside the travelling mini-van get sleepy. It's no wonder they're tired, this is the most painfully drawn out sequence in film history. As a matter of fact, I think they threw in the same shot two or three times, to drag it out even more. This isn't suspense people, it's crap. Any first year film student would know better.

After about 15 minutes of this, something happens (finally). A couple of interesting dream sequences with some pretty cool imagery. I thought, 'this film shows promise!' and decide to watch a little longer. I shouldn't have.

When the campers reach their destination one of the dream sequences bleeds over into the storyline a little more, and you think you know where the film is going. Sequences of the cast romping, sunbathing, and teasing go on far too long and lend nothing to the story. We even get a little girl on girl on guy tent shaking. At least the filmakers are staying true to the genre sexually! Oh yeah, and people start to die.

First of all, the packaging material on the DVD promises a gore fest with the 'goriest of all chainsaw sequences in recent history'. Honestly, I should've had a V8. Really. A Bloody Mary the morning after a long night of drinking is gorier. The packaging also compares this movie to 'The Evil Dead', I suppose because this film is also set in the woods and because we see the same shot of a pitchfork travelling at high speed through the woods over and over and over. I mean it, it's the same shot, over and over and over.

Note to director: Storyboards are good. Very good. Have a shot list, use it. Using same shots over and over to fill time? Bad, very bad.

When we finally reach the climax of this horrible little time waster, there's a twist ending that's just not to be believed. Honestly. This ending is so unsupported by the rest of the film that you will literally wince. Did the movie run overbudget? Was there a cast strike? These are the only explanations I can come up with for the insanity of this suicidal ending.

We're led to believe this is a psychologicial thriller of the mind like 'American Psycho', but the director and distributors must have been out of theirs.

This film stinks like no other i have ever seen. This isn't low-budget...it is NO BUDGET!!! The acting is the lame beyond belief. The first half of the movie does nothing but waste time, complete boredom...nothing happens!

The rest of the movie is predictable and just plain moronic. A pre-schooler with a camcorder could make a better horror film than this. AVOID THIS ATROCITY AT ALL COSTS!!!

Finally a film which does not need thirty billion dollars to sell an audience. I watched this with a group of friends and we laughed, we screamed and we simply had fun! The technical values are like an old hammer film. There must be a rip off of every classic horror film from the 80's in this picture. If you think you are renting Terms of Endearment than you will be sadly disappointed. But as far as horror films go this was a treat. First of all. Look at the title. I mean if you read this title and than pan it like it was supposed to be a drama - go back to preschool. But if you like low budget horror films with original;ity and the odd cliche done to death (literally). Than you will love this. Some of the performances were better than others. I mean it was obviously made on a shoe string in a rush. BUT - yuo have bikini clad babes running around through the whole film. three different sub-plots, and a ton of gore effects. I was actually impressed with a few of the digital animation sequences. This film will entertain those who have a sense of humour and enjoy scary movies. It has a flair that is very John Carpenter. We have a group of gorgeous people in the New Yourk Pine Barrens partying. mean after I saw this movie, I wanted to go camping. Than you have a chick who seems to be haunted by her father. Another who will sleep with everyone, and a guy who seems to be a little psycho. Of course there are some nude scenes and hilarious jokes. The cinematography is very good. Anyone with any intelligence will realize that they were going for a real Tv look and feel. But this is not Blair Witch Project. It is not shot like a documentary. It is a real movie. I purchased the DVD and discovered it has several extra features as well. Good wholesome gory fun!!!

What did I just watch? This film is definately low budget. However there are some impressive dream sequences and traditional slasher gore scenes. The one liners are hilarious. I walked around campus all weekend using some of the lines to get laughs. This is not an intelligent film. The photography is brutal, but it is more like a movie than the Blair Witch Project. The girls are not that good looking but there are some nudes scenes and the one liners are great. Dont rent this if your looking to be moved. But if you want to get something that is a riot for a bunch of buds, this is great! The chainsaw murder is great. They must of used several hundred gallions of fake blood. And the guys actually get laid for a change. My God! Imagine that! RENT IT! But dont BUY IT!