Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde

There can be little doubt, this movie is an inferior follow-up to Legally Blonde. Too many characters are recycled and made to look cute, but it doesn't work as well as when it was fresh. Still, Reese Witherspoon has created in 'Elle Woods' a character that is just fun to watch. She never stays down long, always picking herself up with a fresh approach until she achieves her goal. I look at it like a 'Roadrunner' cartoon, but with real people. It is silly and implausible, but funny. In this case the 'bad guys' are the US Congress in a parody of it's habit of making backroom deals and taking care of supporters to guarantee reelection, even if nothing is done to help constituents. Elle Woods finds that animals are used to test cosmetics, and her quest is to get a law passed that will make it illegal. Nothing more than cute, funny fluff.

That a film sequel will invariably fail to meet the standards of its predecessor is nearly axiomatic. For every brilliant sequel like 'Aliens' or 'Godfather: Part II', there are dozens of painfully lame successors. This is hardly a surprise, yet it is our own unerring tendency to flock, lemming-like, to sequels that insures their continued existence. Sequels make money, and that's a bad thing.

Take 'Legally Blonde 2'. Please.

By way of defense, let me point out that it isn't all that easy to find a movie that will entertain two adults, a 15 year old boy, and a 12 year old girl. Our hopes weren't high when we rented LB2 a couple of weekends ago; however, we all agreed that we had enjoyed the original movie, or at least hadn't actively hated it. That perky little Reese Witherspoon – how can you not kinda like her, huh?

After seeing LB2, I will unreservedly credit it with one thing: it provided a rallying point for my often-scattered family. We were steadfast, united in our complete and utter loathing for this execrable movie. Beyond that questionable achievement, however, I'm not sure there's anything positive that can be said about this film.

As virtually every other reviewer on the planet has noted, the original 'Blonde' had some amusing moments, most of which were supplied by Ms. Witherspoon, who managed to inject the character of Elle Woods with a believable combination of ditziness and sweet charm. Also bolstering the original film was co-star Jennifer Coolidge, who played her dim-bulb shtick to perfection as Elle's beautician friend Paulette. Of course it was a by-the-numbers plot line as predictable as Oregon rain, but Witherspoon, et al played it lightly and for laughs and it worked.

The sequel, however, is an appalling mélange of preachiness, offensive stereotypes, and patently ludicrous plot devices. 'Legally Blonde' made points by taking a helium-weight, bubbleheaded rich girl and making her into a sympathetic character. In LB2, Elle is an annoying dipshit whose breathless naivete and hyperactive adventures are simply painful to endure.

There's no real point in enumerating all the faults of this movie. To do so would be to grant it more thought than evidently went into its creation. But I can't simply step away from one aspect of the film that I found both irritating and troubling. Viewers of the first film will no doubt remember Elle's Chihuahua, Bruiser. For reasons that are continually validated, I tend to hate cutesy cinematic animal sidekicks, and Bruiser was emphatically no exception. In LB2, however, Bruiser's sexuality becomes a repeated theme and convenient plot device. More specifically, we (and Elle) discover that Bruiser is…(wait for it)… gay.

Hilarity ensues, ad nauseum.

It's a damning testimony that 1) the writers of this movie were so desperate for script fodder that they came up with this stunningly lame idea in the first place;

2) that they play it so shamelessly for laughs; and 3) that certain plot twists depend on this fact. It's a stupid, stupid idea in a stupid, stupid movie.

Should I waste more of my time or yours decrying the utter waste of Jennifer Coolidge in this movie? What about Sally Field's humiliating role as Congresswoman Victoria Rudd? Bob Newhart's excruciating turn as the know-it-all hotel doorman cum political mentor. Finally, on a larger scale, should we discuss the massive suspension of disbelief that's required to even slightly believe a moment of this wretched film?

Nah.

I loved the original Legally Blonde, and I knew going into this movie that it wouldn't be as good as the original. My only solace lies in the thought that this could have been so much worse than it was.

First, LB2 relied too much on the Elle-Woods-Fish-Out-Of-Water plot. It should have portrayed the main character as being savvy enough to take advantage of the fact that her opponents always underestimated her. After all, she's been out of law school a couple of years already, surely she'd have learned that much, right?

Second, the plot itself was too contrived. There wasn't a single believable character in the show, and Witherspoon was just a caricature of the original movie's heroine.

But I still managed to enjoy most of the show. I even chuckled in a couple of scenes. But I winced at far too many other scenes, and the climactic speech to Congress was abominable.

I've seen worse remakes than this, but I think the producers missed an opportunity to make a good film instead of a knock-off.

Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) is getting married to Emmett Richmond (Luke Wilson). She goes in search of her dog Bruiser Woods' parents for the wedding. She finds Bruiser's mom being tested on at V.E.R.S.A.C.E. When she objects, she's let go from her law firm. She decides to go to Washington D.C. to change the law for animal testing. She gets to work for fellow alumni Rep. Victoria Rudd (Sally Field).

The first movie had the charm of something completely original. I liked the first one enough but this one doesn't have the possibility of taking us by surprise. The idea seems old now. The movie tries to put Elle Woods in the most unlikely place again. So they twist a story out of shape to put her there and make DC out to be something unreal. It isn't quite as funny anymore. At least it's not funny intentionally.

Yes, yes I know it's a sequel so what do I expect. Well, generally I do expect a lot from Reese Witherspoon. I enjoyed Legally Blonde a lot, and thought it was clever and very funny. In it, Elle backed up her perkiness and style with competence. Even the courtroom scene, if audacious, was reasonably believable. However improbable, it was at least possible for the plot to take the twists and turns that it did, and for Elle to achieve success - which ultimately Elle's success was due to her hard work and brilliant mind, not her looks.

The new movie has none of that. The scenes of committee hearings and Congressional sessions are completely unrealistic and not believable. The sad thing is it probably COULD be made believable, but it's just not done right. Even worse, her ultimate success comes in spite of her incompetence in the political arena, rather than due to her competence. And her marriage - which to Elle's character would be expected to be a VERY big deal - is a minor subplot. Overall the script feels half-done, and as a result the whole thing just doesn't work. At least there were a few good yuks, though not as many as in the original movie.

I've heard they're working on LB3, in which Reese runs for President. Let's hope Reese gets a little more "Type A" and gets that one done right again.