Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde

Although I recognize the fact that I'm a guy and shouldn't like chick flicks anyway, Legally Blonde 2 was ridiculous on so many levels that after watching the movie I had to lower my head in shame.

The first LB movie, while not very funny, was still entertaining to watch because it actually had effort put into the storyline. It was interesting to see a fashion-obsessed blonde in pink apparently not fitting in at Harvard law school. They tried the same approach with LB2, only with her walking into congress buildings wearing her all pink outfits. However, since we've already seen that attempt at humor in the first movie, it just wasn't anything special.

Aside from that, the plot outline was horrible. Basically, Elle Woods (Witherspoon) is having an upcoming wedding where she plans to invite the mother of her pet dog. She discovers that the dog's mother is in a lab, where they were testing fingernail polish on the dog's nails. Elle got sad and was like 'I am going to go to DC and make it illegal for them to test on animals!' The viewer, however, doesn't really care, realizing that putting nail polish on a dog's nails really isn't that big of a deal, but hey.

I'm not trying to sound mean, but I just can't really think of anything good about this movie. Every single joke used in the movie was either not funny or recycled from the first one. The entire concept of the plot is just retarded. It even seemed Reese was half-assing her acting job through the movie, doing even worse than she did in the first film. Nobody else in the movie will be nominated for any Oscars, either.

It just seemed that some filmmaker wanted to cash in from the first movie's success, knowing that people will pay money to see this movie just because the first one was popular. All of the production team's effort went into marketing and hype and they just didn't put enough into the actual movie itself.

2 out of 10

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde is a very disappointing sequel as it fails to deliver the laughs. Elle Woods is now a rising young lawyer at a great firm, balancing a demanding a career with preparations for her wedding to the man of her dreams. But when she finds out that her beloved dog Bruiser's family members are being used as cosmetic test subjects by one of her firm's own clients, she stands up for their rights--and is promptly fired. Ms. Woods decides to go to Washington to take matters into her own hands. The plot actually had some potential, unfortunately the execution was very poor. The original wasn't an Oscar quality film, it was just a fun film to watch. The sequel isn't as fun nor is it fun in general. It was pretty much the same as the first movie and so it was a pretty pointless sequel. Reese Witherspoon returns and she does a good job but she's working with a weak script. The supporting cast isn't very good as none add much to the film. Sally Field is a very good actress but her talents are wasted. Luke Wilson's character isn't very interesting and Jennifer Coolidge tries to hard most of the time. Regina King is a new addition to the cast and she does an okay job, nothing memorable though. Missing from this sequel is Selma Blair, this doesn't matter though as her character wasn't really needed. Charles Herman-Wurmfeld replaces Robert Luketic as the director and does a very bad job. The running time is a brief 95 minutes though it feels a lot longer then that. The film felt a lot longer since the movie just wasn't funny. There were a few funny moments though most of the jokes this film delivered were, at best, small chuckles. Do a few funny moments redeem this film? No, this sequel is one of the worst sequels of 2003 and one of the worst comedies of 2003. In the end, this sequel may seem funny but I assure you it isn't. Rating 4.3/10, rent the original instead.

Yes, yes I know it's a sequel so what do I expect. Well, generally I do expect a lot from Reese Witherspoon. I enjoyed Legally Blonde a lot, and thought it was clever and very funny. In it, Elle backed up her perkiness and style with competence. Even the courtroom scene, if audacious, was reasonably believable. However improbable, it was at least possible for the plot to take the twists and turns that it did, and for Elle to achieve success - which ultimately Elle's success was due to her hard work and brilliant mind, not her looks.

The new movie has none of that. The scenes of committee hearings and Congressional sessions are completely unrealistic and not believable. The sad thing is it probably COULD be made believable, but it's just not done right. Even worse, her ultimate success comes in spite of her incompetence in the political arena, rather than due to her competence. And her marriage - which to Elle's character would be expected to be a VERY big deal - is a minor subplot. Overall the script feels half-done, and as a result the whole thing just doesn't work. At least there were a few good yuks, though not as many as in the original movie.

I've heard they're working on LB3, in which Reese runs for President. Let's hope Reese gets a little more "Type A" and gets that one done right again.

Reese Goes to Washington. We discover that, beneath a very very thin veneer of protocol, politics in DC largely functions EXACTLY like a sorority! Isn't that cool? How FUN! But how on earth will Reese figure out to puncture this veneer of propriety and protocol that prevents people from doing the right thing and allows bureacracy and EEEEEEVIL to propogate through the legislative halls of our great land? well, i don't want to spoil the whole movie for you! But guess what? The really cool and honest Legislator that Reese goes to work for? She's kind of EEEEEEVIL!

That a film sequel will invariably fail to meet the standards of its predecessor is nearly axiomatic. For every brilliant sequel like 'Aliens' or 'Godfather: Part II', there are dozens of painfully lame successors. This is hardly a surprise, yet it is our own unerring tendency to flock, lemming-like, to sequels that insures their continued existence. Sequels make money, and that's a bad thing.

Take 'Legally Blonde 2'. Please.

By way of defense, let me point out that it isn't all that easy to find a movie that will entertain two adults, a 15 year old boy, and a 12 year old girl. Our hopes weren't high when we rented LB2 a couple of weekends ago; however, we all agreed that we had enjoyed the original movie, or at least hadn't actively hated it. That perky little Reese Witherspoon – how can you not kinda like her, huh?

After seeing LB2, I will unreservedly credit it with one thing: it provided a rallying point for my often-scattered family. We were steadfast, united in our complete and utter loathing for this execrable movie. Beyond that questionable achievement, however, I'm not sure there's anything positive that can be said about this film.

As virtually every other reviewer on the planet has noted, the original 'Blonde' had some amusing moments, most of which were supplied by Ms. Witherspoon, who managed to inject the character of Elle Woods with a believable combination of ditziness and sweet charm. Also bolstering the original film was co-star Jennifer Coolidge, who played her dim-bulb shtick to perfection as Elle's beautician friend Paulette. Of course it was a by-the-numbers plot line as predictable as Oregon rain, but Witherspoon, et al played it lightly and for laughs and it worked.

The sequel, however, is an appalling mélange of preachiness, offensive stereotypes, and patently ludicrous plot devices. 'Legally Blonde' made points by taking a helium-weight, bubbleheaded rich girl and making her into a sympathetic character. In LB2, Elle is an annoying dipshit whose breathless naivete and hyperactive adventures are simply painful to endure.

There's no real point in enumerating all the faults of this movie. To do so would be to grant it more thought than evidently went into its creation. But I can't simply step away from one aspect of the film that I found both irritating and troubling. Viewers of the first film will no doubt remember Elle's Chihuahua, Bruiser. For reasons that are continually validated, I tend to hate cutesy cinematic animal sidekicks, and Bruiser was emphatically no exception. In LB2, however, Bruiser's sexuality becomes a repeated theme and convenient plot device. More specifically, we (and Elle) discover that Bruiser is…(wait for it)… gay.

Hilarity ensues, ad nauseum.

It's a damning testimony that 1) the writers of this movie were so desperate for script fodder that they came up with this stunningly lame idea in the first place;

2) that they play it so shamelessly for laughs; and 3) that certain plot twists depend on this fact. It's a stupid, stupid idea in a stupid, stupid movie.

Should I waste more of my time or yours decrying the utter waste of Jennifer Coolidge in this movie? What about Sally Field's humiliating role as Congresswoman Victoria Rudd? Bob Newhart's excruciating turn as the know-it-all hotel doorman cum political mentor. Finally, on a larger scale, should we discuss the massive suspension of disbelief that's required to even slightly believe a moment of this wretched film?

Nah.